Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Are You Service Oriented?

Are You??

Does the thought of dealing with people make you want to run and hide? Vomit maybe??

When your phone rings, are you sending it straight to your voicemail in fear that it will just be another headache?

Instead of asking "How are you today?" are you asking "What do you want?"

Do you dream of going absolutely no where in a company of thousands, where they promote only by seniority and not talent??

Well...have I got the position for you!!

As a job placement company we have a large client seeking un-motivated, un-professional, bumps on logs, to get them through the upcoming holiday season. People skills entirely optional because frankly this company is so large, and has completely saturated their market by monopolizing everything, that it won't matter. Customers (i.e. Suckers) will STILL COME BACK!!

Earn solid money while having a crappy attitude! Didn't think it was possible? Neither did we!!

Please fax your email to 555-SUCK. Where other rude customer service reps are standing by waiting to do nothing.

***Special Note: This is not the normal ranting of Grandy, and she is actually not in a bad mood today. She has been working hard from home today and has had a few run-ins with customer service professionals that perhaps needed some additional training. Rather than vent about these people, she envisioned how fun it would be to post a job opening to all these people at the same time. She certainly had fun writing it! If you should happen to try to fax to this number, you will be the proud recipient of the "Forgotten Clue" award. Thank you!!


Suzanne said...

I love it! The antithesis of my work ethic, lol. I don't think I'll be applying for THAT one. ;)

I'd pity you if you were telling me that you were describing your workplace!

Grandy said...

No Suzanne, it's not my workplace. I'd be crazier than I am now if it were. (If that's possible)

Michele said...

I dream of a cozy cabin in the woods with a fireplace, cozy slippers and robe, and no phones ;0)


*I do love people, though, just in moderation*



Well, at least they're honest. Why go through all the bullshit of looking like you want to hire quality people just for the Xmas madness? Whoever can fill the space, show up for their shift and stick around until the holidays are over... that way they won't be building up any false hope among these people that they have any sort of future with this company or any other.

Kelly O said...

Crummy customer service people can make me practically homicidal. On the other hand, they're awful because their jobs make them miserable, right?

Killer said...

This way they won't feel guilty about firing them after the holidays.

I know quite a few people that would probably thrive at such a job.

Grandy said...

Michele~ Dream away...can I come?? We could just blog, listen to music, and eat munchies. :)

Urban~ I'm always a fan of honesty. You did know I made this job posting up, right?? So...I guess I'm the honest one not building up hopes.

Kelly~ Tis the season to lose reason!!

Killer~ No false hopes here. Glad to see ya!!

Mrs. G. said...

I think this is the job for me. I find myself becoming more reserved-wanting to just put on my pjs and read a book or zone on the tube. Lately, I have to mentally tell myself, "Go to book club or go to the movie." Um, where do I apply.