Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Fun in the Co-Worker Kitchen

Several months back, Grandy posted about someone who was stealing her lunch from the fridge at work. It was a bit of a rant, but it made her feel better. Grandy knows who it was stealing the food, but never confronted him about it. Just knowing it was him...was enough for me. The enabling Grandy even started to bring a little extra. I figured, hey, he must really need it.

Recently Grandy came across some great notes that have been left for co-workers who eat others' lunches. These folks...seriously... need to evidently release some built up aggression.

Oh sure...blame the economy. Everyone else does!!

I have often asked myself this same question. This is just taunting people now.

Handwriting analysis might need to be done on this one... This person should be watched.

This one gets an A+++ in the creativity department. Who goes to that much effort for their Diet Coke??

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Celebrating Even the Smallest Successes...

Grandy's recent celebration for the work win, was unfortunately pretty short lived. Regrettably, there's just so much going on in Grandy's head, and her heart, that makes it difficult to truly celebrate big things.

I suppose that would be a good thing that works in my favor in sales. You don't celebrate the big win for too long, before you are already focusing in on the next win. I will admit that is part of why my gears shifted so quickly, but would be lying if I said that were all.

You've seen Grandy post in the past about all that she has on her plate. You've seen me confess to the fact that her boss has referred to her as "Molotov Mary" (some truth to that). You are aware of my struggles with saying no, and thus being over-committed to every blasted thing (more truth to that). And whether or not I say this enough...Grandy is truly blessed with a lot of beautiful friends and family (all truth to that).

Let's see if Grandy can focus on some little successes in her hell other world, that might just help put things in perspective for her...

1. You will be pleased to know, that even after drinking copious amounts of wine (and even a drink called a scorpion), Grandy did not make an a$$ of herself at this event. As a matter of fact, she has managed to work 16-hour days, doing multiple jobs, and her head hasn't popped once (alright...maybe once...but not many people witnessed it). - Score 100 points for Molotov!!!

2. Another success? Grandy has resigned as the co-chair of the School's Site Council. This council wasn't a whole lot of extra work, but it was extra work and a commitment that maybe, towards the end of the last school year, I wasn't really able to give my all to. Weekly I keep threatening to quit the scouts...but I also threaten to get my lazy butt to the gym more...Grandy apparently lacks some commitment there. - Score 50 points for the SUCKER!

3. Friends...Grandy can't say enough about her friends and family. Grandy's friends are her family...and her family is most certainly her friends. Over the last few weeks, few months even, they have shown me sides of themselves that touch me so deeply. Were it not for these people surrounding me, Grandy would have popped months ago. When I posted my featured health success story from the med center's website here, I had also sent an email to all my friends and family thanking them for their support (crying as I wrote it of course).

Grandy learned about 2 weeks ago that despite all the crap misfortune going on, her health is still where it needs to be. - Grandy scores PRICELESS points!!!!

::yep...Grandy is crying again::

We are winding down 2009 (and what a hellacious year it has been) and it's looking good that her New Year's resolution of "NO ANESTHESIA OR -OSCOPY" could come to fruition. Grandy had kissed good-bye to SUCK-IT08 and rang in BRING-IT09 with focus. Looking back, maybe I brought this year upon me by sticking my chin out and saying...I CAN TAKE IT. ACK!!

Hmmm...This will make Grandy pause and seriously contemplate what phrase she coins for 2010. PAY-ME10? BLOW-ME10? We'll have to give this more thought...

For now, as Grandy struggles with what she feels like is an elephant balancing on dental floss, she is going to try to focus on these smaller successes. By themselves, they may not seem like much, but when you put them all together...it's these things together that get Grandy through the next day.

Why not share with Grandy what some of your successes have been lately? As you can see, no success is too small, but it's often those small ones that get overlooked or forgotten. Did you lose a pound? Finish a project? Land a job? Make a new connection? Let's combine all the successes in Grandy-land, and use it as a launching pad into a good week ahead.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Grandy shoots! SHE SCORES!!!

Grandy is really excited.

Can you tell?


Wanna know why?

At the end of last year, Grandy decided she needed to focus on her professional growth. She's been doing the same job for 6 years, and in the same industry for 14 years. (Yeah, I did start when I was 7...yeah-huh!)

Grandy went to her bosses and said..."I want to do this!" Bosses looked at her like she was a dumbass bit crazy, because it was completely different than what she was already doing, but patted her on the head, and pretty much said "here are 52 flaming hoops for you to leap through...let's see ya do it."

Well hell...give Grandy a challenge and she'll take it head on. Unfortunately it's that fine line between challenges and DARES that sometimes gets Grandy into a world of fun trouble...but that's another post entirely.

As of today, Grandy has successfully scaled hoops 26-38! Why not all 52? I still have a lot to learn, and so much more a$$ to kick along the way. I would never say I'm quite there. As soon as I get to 45...there will be more lined up...53...54...96...97...you get the point.

Grandy has to give her big bosses credit though. Times have not been easy on the company (as with any other company) but with every hoop scaled, they have stood by their commitment. Grandy gives them swift kicks pause with some of her antics, but somewhere in there...they trust Grandy.

Thank you, bosses. Your fear confidence in my abilities gives me a new sense of commitment. Grandy will make you proud...and make you a lot of money!!!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

WTF Wednesday - More with Duct Tape?

Grandy has had this picture saved for some time. I can't even remember if I've posted it before, so I'm sorry if I have.
Looking at this picture, Grandy wonders a few things.
  • How many people actually stayed in the plane, to see if it would take off with the duct tape.
  • If the guy who put the tape on the wing is still employed at the airline.
  • If the airline served free drinks to all passengers who agreed to stay.
  • Would you fly this plane??

Maybe it's not a big commercial plane. Maybe it's just a crop duster.

All I can say is, there's not enough liquor in the world to make me stay on this plane. Ever!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Is it safe here?

Grandy has only been doing Facebook since February. Since that time, there have been a few little hiccups in the "friend" department, but nothing that Grandy couldn't handle.

There was one girl who was not really ever very nice to Grandy as a kid. Why does she want to friend me now? That's odd. Not thinking much of it, I went ahead and accepted her. I just don't pay any attention to her when she shows up on my home page.

A few weeks ago, however, there was another "friend" who was updating her status with a huge diatribe about how one of her "friends" was slamming her all over facebook. I knew who this person was, never liked her, but kept my mouth shut. In fact, this person kept showing up on my "friend suggestion" list, and I purposely would avoid her. My sister, on the other hand, commented on one of the diatribes, and ultimately got sucked into the high school drama. Talk about your total he said/she said (trust me on the weirdness of this one).

So yesterday it happened... Grandy goes into her Facebook and finds a friend request. ::jaws music playing:: it's HER. It's the one that started it all. Facebook says we have 47 friends in common... GOOD LORD! Grandy wants nothing to do with this person, and actually is steering clear of the other one too, but doesn't know what to do.

If Grandy ignores the friend request, she will most certainly know. If not...she's stuck.

Any tricks out there for kindly ignoring folks? Many of my blogging buds are masters at all things Facebook and Twitter (haven't gone there) and Grandy looks to you for advice.

What's your vote? IGNORE?? Will you protect me if I do and she's mad? I'm pretty sure this one, and there aren't many, could kick my butt. I'm just sayin'.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Grandy has a date!!

Grandy never quite got into the whole fraternity/sorority thing in college. Most of the time, they bored me. I must have been too serious then. In fact, in the whole time I was there, I only went to one football game. That says a lot, considering the fact that for one year I lived across from the stadium. I just had other things going on all the time, even though I really liked football.

It's funny how some things change.

Today Grandy has a DATE with her son. She's pulling him out of school early (does the principal read this blog?) and we're going down to the biggest game of the year tonight at my alma mater. He absolutely loves football, and has been obsessed with it since I took him to a game four years ago. Watching him get excited about the game, and my old school, has given me a renewed energy about my old school.

So, we're driving 3 1/2 hours to get to the game, going to have a blast (even though we will lose), staying at my brother's, then turning around to come back in time for his own game tomorrow. It will be tiring...but so worth it.

I don't know that my weekend will slow down at all by Sunday, but I promise, I'll blog more next week folks. So much going on, that I cannot share here, but always a story in my head for you all.

See you at the game!!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Crazy Clumsiness

Grandy had a college lighting professor who used to always explain that "black-out" was not black. It was the complete absence of light.

What Grandy wants to know is whether or not bad luck was the complete absence of luck?

Yesterday I alluded to my skills in the lame-ness category, and I'm sorry I didn't exactly specify. Yes, Grandy went down a friend's deck like a slinky. Nothing broken. Very bruised.

This is only one example of how Grandy is not an accident waiting to happen, but rather an accident looking for a PLACE to happen. I get frustrated sometimes at the depth of my crazy clumsiness. Some of my injuries have been out of my control (car accidents, flying objects, etc.) whereas other injuries are thrust upon me, and perhaps I should have avoided it.

Yesterday, when I walked out of my friend's house I noticed that her husband had pressure washed the deck. So...knowing my inclination for such gravitational pulls...I walked over to the top step and reached out for the railing, so I could be careful walking down. So much for that.

Grandy steps down the first step...her feet fly...then thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. THUMP.

Grandy knocked her ankle, her arms, her knee, and felt an immediate 3rd butt-cheek growing out of her hip. All I could think of was, "get to the car and cry there". Grandy drove home, embarrassed and crying (because now the adrenaline is wearing off and the swelling is commencing).

If my mom reads this, I'm fine. If my sisters read this, I'm okay. If my girlfriends read this, I'm hosed, and could take a collection for a massage certificate. Except...That 3rd butt cheek. It's not going to let ANYONE touch it any time soon.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Grandy is Lame

Dictionary.com has the following definitions for the word LAME:

1. crippled or physically disabled, esp. in the foot or leg so as to limp or walk with difficulty.
2. impaired or disabled through defect or injury: a lame arm.
3. weak; inadequate; unsatisfactory; clumsy: a lame excuse.
4. Slang. out of touch with modern fads or trends; unsophisticated.

–verb (used with object)
5. to make lame or defective.

6. Slang. a person who is out of touch with modern fads or trends, esp. one who is unsophisticated.

Let's recap where Grandy fits into the definition and how it applies to her...

1. Yep
2. Got that covered
3. Uh-huh
4. Certainly
5. Already there
6. That too

Wow... Although I'm able to scale the depths of an entire front deck like a dang slinky, and walk away (slowly), it never ceases to amaze me how many times I CAN bounce down those stairs.

Grandy is fine. Bruised. Sore. LAME ON ALL LEVELS!!!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

WTF Wednesday - Safety Warnings

Grandy can't tell you enough how many times she has had to remind herself, "Grandy, you MUST be smarter than the machine."

Although this reminder seems to help me through the immediate moment (that and a good swift kick of the machine) I can't help but think that a sign like this would go far in the world.

Think of the revolution we could start...
  • At the slurpee machines: When you think you've stopped in time to make it stop spewing out, only to have Mount St. Helens all over your hands.
  • At gas stations (where the air pump things are): Just when you think that even the smallest car in the world parks within an inch of its life to the air pumps, and yet the hose is still.not.long.enough.
  • Drive-Up ATMs: Don't get me started on the braille thing (that's a different post all together). Wait...Do you think the sign would come in braille?
  • Touchless Paper Towel Dispensers: Really... Grandy tends to be the one that punches those things because her "wave" just won't register.

What piece of machinery do you think could use one of these signs? I'm sure there are many more out there. Grandy's just drawing a blank at the moment.

Maybe we should post the sign on my laptop.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Powers of the Perfection Perception

As Grandy was racing down the hill on Saturday last week, she thought to herself...

30 Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwhiches made, all the scouts and leaders are fed - Check

Laundry has been transferred - Check

Took care of man who cut his leg with the chain saw - Check (seriously...I had 30 scouts and leaders in my dang back yard and I'M the one taking care of the chain saw injury because the Dad didn't want anyone "to know".)

Did Grandy get her house cleaned? - NO Check

Grandy was now racing to a 1:00 baby shower, an hour away, and then a 5:00 bridal shower also an hour away. (For the record, they were two different people and yes, they were about 15 minutes from each other at least.)

BUT Grandy's house is NOT clean. It's anything but! UGH!! A nap is on the schedule on or about January 13, 2010...when will Grandy get a chance to CLEAN?

The thought crossed my mind that perhaps I'm just not built to be domestically inclined. There are those people...maybe I'm just one of them. Grandy tries to keep it all together, but can only keep up the appearance for so long. If any of those scouts had to actually come into the house, I'm pretty certain it would give Ty a nickname that would carry him through high school.

That night I was instructed to meet the boys at a friend's house who is having a "get together", I dutifully arrived at around 9:00. My girlfriends were obviously well ahead of me in their quest to escape all reality and get their drink on, and I decided I wasn't going to try to catch up (shocking I know). Hey...Grandy can still get her party on, and have a good time, without alcohol.
The conversation took an interesting turn when one girlfriend started talking about how hard she works to be perfect for her husband and family. WTF? Perfect?!

I asked her to define what her take on perfection was, and she was able to tell me quicker than blinking. One of the keys to her perfection was a clean house. Not just a "clean" house, but an uber-no-dirt-to-be-found-cans lined in a row-everything in its place-clean.

THEN I asked her to define what her husband thought perfection was... blink... blink. A clean house.

She asked me how I do it all, and I laughed and rolled my eyes. I don't do it ALL. I do a lot, and fake the rest. She says, "NO!! You are amazing with all the stuff you do, and do well." Now, this woman has seen the inside of my house, maybe it was a while ago, but she's been inside. It is nowhere near perfection. Doesn't she know that?

This woman carried on (and I do love this woman) with talking about all the committees I'm on, and run, all the events I do, the hours of work I put in, and how hard the work is. Bless her heart, she actually said that she wants to BE LIKE GRANDY. *Put the crack pipe down and no one gets hurt* Seriously?

On a day where Grandy is questioning whether she is doing enough, and wonders how she can even do what she's doing, and someone is praising her? Someone with an immaculately clean house? Huh??

One thing my friend struggles with is how to relate to her husband. I told her she needed to sit down and ask him what he thought perfection was. If she's working so hard to be perfect, based on what she thinks is perfect and doesn't know anymore what he wants, then what's the point? All her efforts are being lost for the wrong reasons. With that, when I dropped her off, she hugged me and skipped off to her house.

"You are a wise and good soul Grandy." she called out. (she truly does call me Grandy)

It just goes to show you...just when you feel like you are at your weakest, and not fooling anyone. Someone comes along to remind you that you're doing something right... even if you can't see my dining room table.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

WTF Wednesday - In Search Of...

It is one of those mysteries that perplexes the mind. Like searching for Saskquatch, or the Loch-ness-monster, it is sometimes seen but rarely photographed. It is a phenomenon that can't be explained.

How does it happen?

And why?

Worse yet...and something I've never ever seen...WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THIS?!?

A rare photo of the Cracken Monster, trying to disguise itself with Duct Tape.

NOW I may have seen everything... almost.