Adventurous Folks

So there's a new girl in Grandy's office. She's very cool, adventurous and fun. Adventurous folks don't exactly understand Grandy's phobias of things. GRANDY doesn't even understand some of her phobias.

A little while back, she's talking to someone about all the fun things she would like to do, or has already done.

"Scuba diving is my current passion right now," she says as the dialogue goes from one adventure to another.

Because Grandy is not the best swimmer in the world, she doesn't contribute to the conversation, but instead just keeps working.

Blah blah blah "hang gliding" blah blah.

Still silently working. Remember Grandy's fear of heights??

And then...

"SKYDIVING!"

To which the person she was having the discussion with must have even thought THAT was too much for her as she says, "Good luck with THAT."

"Oh come on!!"
"NOPE!"

Then cute new girl turns her attention to me, "Hey Grandy, wouldn't skydiving be on your bucket list?"

My reply...

"I'm afraid if I had to try skydiving, it would be on my KICK-THE-BUCKET list."

*silence*

Laughter ensues and Grandy dodges yet another bullet of awkwardness...kinda.

Grandy Strikes Again

I think it's safe to assume that when Grandy is out in public, the adventures never stop. It's sometimes a good thing when there are people around to witness the hilarity that ensues. And then there are times that...well...you almost wish that there were no witnesses, because when there are, you will NEVER live it down.

Case in point...Grandy's most recent adventure.

The scene: VERY fancy and elegant Dim Sum restaurant in San Francisco. My co-workers and I are sitting at a VIP table with the owner and her family. These are elegant and almost royal Asian women. They disply nothing short of class and grace. (Grandy is intimidated a bit by their presance but they are so gracious, they make you feel comfrotable.) It's lunchtime, and this restaurant is bussling with business. There's quite a bit of ambient noise.

Daughter: Mary, are you "Adventurous"?
Me: Sure! I'm game for anything! (of course I am)
Daughter: Really? We have "Chicken Feed" (and she does the quotes with her fingers) on the menu. It's kind of a delicacy, but some people don't like it because they can't get past the texture.
Me: Why? How bad can it be? Is the corn raw or something?
Daughter: Are you up for trying it?
Me: (Not one to refuse a challenge) Sure!
Daughter: Mom! Mary's going to TRY the "Chicken Feed".
Mother: REALLY?!? That is WONDERFUL!! Oh Mary, I do hope you like it.
Me: Oh I'm sure it will be fine.
Daughter - To the waitress: We're going to have an order of ::raise of the eyebrows:: "Chicken Feed".
Waitress: Oooohhhh! Okay!!
Me: Why did you do your eyebrows like that, when you said that?
Daughter: Oh, it's just because I'm excited.
Me: ::thinking to myself...what's the big deal? It has to be raw corn, maybe mixed with something::

The waitress returns with a silver platter, covered with a dome lid. There's a sense of excitement as she delivers it with flair and sets the platter in front of me on the table. My co-workers are smiling at me, seemingly impressed with what I'm about to do.

The lid comes off...

Grandy looks at it, puzzled. There's not a single piece of corn in this bowl. There's obviously enough for others around the table, but it looks like there are breaded things in this bowl. There are several, and it's hard to make out what it is. The waitress puts a piece on my plate.

Me: ::thinking to myself:: That's odd, it almost looks like...
Daughter: Well? What do you think?
Me: IT'S A CHICKEN FOOT?
Daughter: Yes, it's Chicken Feet! (She says proudly with a smile)

Mind you...this is the VERY first time Grandy has heard the word "FEET".

Daughter: What do you think?
Mother: ::looking so proud:: It's a delicacy, and people really either love them or hate them.
Me: ::staring at a single chicken foot on her plate, cooked in what looked like a thick terryaki sauce:: Ummm...You have to know that up until now, I thought you were talking about chicken FEED. With a "D".
Daughter: You thought we were saying FEED?
Me: Yes.

The entire table breaks out in laughter, simultaneously. My co-worker to my right has tears coming down, she's laughing so hard, as I find myself staring at a lone chicken foot on my plate. The Mother and Daughter are even graceful as they laugh hysterically at me, and the waitress puts a foot on each of their plates.

Mother: ::gathering herself:: So? Will you still try it?
Me: (Never one to disappoint. EMBARASS...but not disappoint) ::smiling:: Of Course!

The dang thing was slippery as all get out. I'm pretty good with chopsticks, but this foot kept slipping out and dropping. Now there's an audience watching for my reaction, and I can't get the dang thing in my mouth.

I take a bite...

They're watching anxiously...

Me: Not BAD!!
Daughter: Really? Do you like it?
Me: It's really not that bad. It is pretty much just skin and bones (spitting a bone into my napkin) but it just still...tastes like chicken.

Laughter.

Me: Well, it's official!!
Daughter: What's that?
Me: Proof now that they use every part of the chicken.

Laughter.

Co-worker: You are NOT going to live this down any time soon.
Me: I figure as much.

STORY OF MY LIFE!!

WTF Wednesday - Statistics Shmatistics

Read this one again folks!!

My guess is the frequency of teen pregnancy would drop off when they hit the age of... UM... 20??

Maybe we should buy them the condoms that were on sale last week for Mother's Day?

Grandy Has a P-R-O-B-L-E-M

Hi. Um...My name is Grandy.

It has been 6 hours since my last...well as some would call it..."big cup of WHY BOTHER".

I call it, "Iced-Venti-Sugar-Free-Fat-Free-Carmel-Macchiato-Yummy-Goodness."

Do you understand why people might call it "WHY BOTHER?" It's because of the sugar-free and fat-free thing. I know. It makes little sense to me too. But trust me...it's goooooood.

The barista beyotches will look at me funny when I order it. Some of them know me by now, and they know I must have it the way I order it. If they put the sugary syrup in there, Grandy get's violently ill. If they put the regular milk in...well nothing happens. It just helps that I keep it on the skinny side.

Then I will get the comment, "Well you know the caramel is not sugar-free."

Um yeah...I know...but you put a little squirt of that in there and it gives it enough of the yummy. Put 4 pumps of sweet syrup in there and Grandy is in your bathroom scaring your customers.

The current problem is...well...the drink is Grandy's problem. This caffeinated goodness has substituted itself in Grandy's daily life as her new liquid crack.

It started out with the tall size (really? why do they call it that?)

Well then Grandy went to the Grande.

Then the Uber Venti size.

Reader. I am almost embarassed to say that this week (twice this week actually) Grandy has bought 2 in one day. I have not bought 2 at the same one, because I just know they will recognize me and know of my problem.

It's yummy goodness has truly taken over my life.

I don't smoke. I hardly drink (it doesn't take much). I can't have any carbonation. No chocolate. No candy. No ice cream. No desserts.

This is the ONLY vice Grandy has...but I fear it is still a dangerous vice to have.

Tell me reader...

Is there hope for me??

Do you see a resemblance?

Today Grandy saw the eye doctor.

Well...she only saw him for a little while actually.

Getting the eyes dilated is a once of year party for Grandy. Last year they put 2 drops in my eyes and it took 2 days for the eyes to recover.

Today the nurse was impressed with how quickly my eyes reacted after the first drop, that she spared me the 2nd drop. YAY NURSE LADY!!

When I was done, they gave me some funny looking glasses. Not the big bulky kind, but these looked like 3-D glasses. They were horrible...and Grandy played the part.

I had to go back to my other doctor's office looking like this...


And guess who Grandy was mistaken for?

Huh!! I'm not seein' it myself.

Good thing I shaved my mustache first thing this mornin'!!

See ya tomorrow!!

Does Yours Look Like THIS?

The Grandy family is not what you would call...domestically inclined.

It's not that our house is filthy, nor would it qualify for an episode of How Clean Is Your House? but I must say that even this Grandy has had her limit.

I saw the surgeon for a follow-up on Friday, and although he hasn't released me to go back to work, he has said I can start going back to certain activities. As much as I hate to say it, the home in Grandy-land is needing some serious attention.

The boys have really done their best to try and step up (insert "bless their hearts" comment here) and help out. They have washed their own clothes for about a month...with only minor incident. Ty has been faithfully doing the dishes, dusting, and getting the mail at least once a week. I couldn't even recreate the happy dance he did when he realized the belt on the vacuum was broken...one less chore.

But last weekend (the first days I could start driving) I had decided it was time to prepare for the battle. I have GOT to do something! I knew I was going to see the doc this week and was hopefully going to be allowed to get my clean on.

Well...I've been given the green light (in moderation of course) and am going to commence this today. I will try to tackle a room every day.

But today?

Today I must start HERE:




I took this pic on Monday...when I was having my nervous frickin' breakdown epiphony. Some of this has already resolved itself.

• 2 big bags of candy - Donated to the church for their Harvest Festival.
• Target bags - They housed the other random cleaning supplies that Grandy decided she must have.
• Purse - It's been moved...I promise.
• Big hefty bags in the back - Those are clothes that no longer fit me (since I've lost tons) and they've been delivered to the thrift store.
• Curio cabinet - It was delivered a while ago (it was Gramma's) but now has a home. Please don't ask why it was placed there...and NO I didn't move it myself. They just needed my direction.

Can you find the object that slays me the most? Really? Look REAL HARD.

How many of you can claim to have an Elvis Hound Dog on their dining room table. How about an Elvis Hound Dog NEXT to a camping lantern?

No? Just the Grandys? Really??

Oh...those Lysol Gloves and I are SO going to be friends today.

Unless you want to come see what's at the bottom of this pile...Grandy will see you all tomorrow!!

OH! And I promise to announce the winner of my 200th Post - Another Grandy-Ose Contest tomorrow.

3 Reasons why BBC America ROCKS

You all know that Grandy is not a big fan of daytime television. It sucks me in...sucks me dry...and spits me out.

With commercials like:

Have you been injured in an auto accident? Is your insurance company ripping you off?

Or Television shows like:

Is the entire neighborhood this baby's father?

Don't even get me started on reality shows:

Let's see what happens when we send this women's rights activist on a blind date with this red-neck from Kansas.

With programming like this, and having your a$$ planted in a chair, it's a bit difficult not to let it effect your mood.

Well there are some shows over at BBC America that make me feel so much better. The honesty, the freeness of the **Bleeps**, there is just something about these shows that instantly rev up my mood.

1) Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares - The host of Hell's Kitchen shows a more human, endearing side of himself as he blasts the restaurant staff and owners of places that need some serious help. Gordon Ramsay freely drops F-Bombs and calls them names. It's awesome to watch the ineptness as it unfolds. By the end of the episode, you find yourself rooting for these places that earlier wouldn't be fit to be open by the health inspector.






This show so rocks! I'm secretly growing a crush on this man.


2) You Are What You Eat - Gillian McKeith, a holistic nutritionist, helps people completely re-work their diets and introduces them to exercise with a no-holds-barred approach. This woman is BRUTAL and AWESOME. When she puts the people's food on the table showing what they consume in a week...OH MY!! Scandalous!! Have you thought of putting all the food you eat in a week on one table? It could be eye opening.

3) How Clean Is Your House? - This show ab-so-friggin'-lutely makes Grandy feel better about the state her house is in. These two ladies are absolute goddesses of clean. Did you know that you can use mayonnaise to remove stickers from furniture?

The scary part is they do show how much bacteria lives in the home with the occupant, and that gives me a bit of the heebie-jeebies.

For the record...this is not a picture of Grandy's kitchen. It has been close to this, but not this bad.

You know what else Grandy finds fascinating? Watching their news and their input on our elections. Boy can Grandy not WAIT until this campaign crap is over.

So tell me reader... Do you have a favorite show on the BBC? Have you ever seen a show on BBC?

You really should!!

Crazy Nicknames

What is the funniest nickname you've ever had?

In Grandy's comment section from yesterday (still licking her lips with all the desserts), Suzanne mentioned that one of her nicknames as a kids was Suzy Cream Cheese.

For whatever reason, Grandy thought this was funny. Not because there was something wrong with that, but because while people had cute nicknames, Grandy had some rather interesting nicknames as a kid but none were "cute".

I was fortunate to inherit my father's gift for nicknames. He had a nickname for everyone! He could never remember any one's real name, but rather associated them with their nickname, or made it one that he would be sure to remember. Even when angry with us, he would hollar for us by yelling our nicknames.

Imagine...

The Horror...

Playing outside with your friends, so unassumingly climbing a tree and experimenting with swear words (oh yea, it started young for Grandy), when her dad would call her from down the street to get her home.

My nickname had two parts...the first one was HARMLESS and sounded like tinkerbell. If Dad was in a good mood, he would just call me twink. "How's it going, Twink?"

The last part? This is where anyone who was humorously challenged might start to get a complex and then grow up to blame her parents for anything that ever went wrong in her life.

Whew!!

Good thing Grandy never cared.

Grandy's nickname as a child... are you ready for this?... was TWINKLE TURD.

Funny...all this talk of my son's belly-ache, and now I'm talking turds.

Yep! You read that right. Not sure what about me was twinkle, but I can sure tell you which part of me was (or is) a turd.

Now, Grandy had her share of mean nicknames from jerk kids growing up, but this one never bothered her. Why? It was all I knew. It took me a while to realize what the nickname was and when I did, I never thought of it as a bad thing.

So...when you're done laughing at my honesty and openness...tell me what your funniest nickname you have ever had is.

Commuter's Emergency Kit

As a commuter, it is vital to have certain things available close by and handy.

Napkins in glove compartment? Check

Lotion in glove compartment? Check

Hand sanitizer in center console compartment? Check

CD's in back of seat? Check

Lint roller in side compartment? No? Where did it go?

Oh, carpool friend found it on the floor. Phew!

Except this lint roller had attracted a little more than just lint...

I'm thinkin' I could be on to something here.

It could come in handy.

XMmmmmm...

Does anyone else have XM Channels on their TV Satelite?

We Grandys love ours!

I think I've mentioned the Broadway Channel to you, but there are so many others. I don't think I'm blowing any secrets when I say that the Mr. Grandy(s) of the house aren't so fond of that one, however.

Where else can you get random music selections to fit your liking? I have quite the eclectic music collection and XM fits that. As I'm working through my recovery, I'm trying not to get sucked into watching TV all day. This Grandy is not used to so much down time...and is NOT in to soap operas.


It's the names folks...the "Names" of these channels that crack me up. I'm sure there's a perfectly good system in place, but I haven't figured it out yet. Some make perfect sense and then, well, you be the judge of what does and doesn't.

- "80's on 8" - Feeling like some leg warmers already.

- "US Country" - is pretty self explanitory on what it consists of.

- "On Broadway" - One of my favorites people.

- "Spirit" - speaks volumes as well.
- "Squizz-XL" - Rock? Post Grunge? Metal? Rap? Funk? It says it has it all.

- "Ethel" - New modern rock superstarts mixed with 90's flashbacks. (??)

- "Lucy" - Alternative Rock?

- "Fred" - Also alternative? Has anyone told Ricky he needs a channel for Alternative Latin?

- "Special X" - I didn't make up this explanation, it's from them - A collection of some of the most bizarre music ever recorded. Hmmm...So do they mean "special" as in little yellow school bus "special"?

- "XMU" - Indie pop...because all college stations are "indie".

Tell me what your favorite XM Channel is...and if you know what the name of the channel means??

Do you forgive me??

Dear Doctor:

I write you this letter as somewhat of a confession. You see, when you allowed me to return to work early, I had made promises that I would not overextend myself, work from home a bit more, and generally take care of myself.

I do think you should know that I've made many strides in my goals.

I would relax by playing with my puppy:

Remembered to slow down and appreciate some simple, beautiful things:

I even honed some of my sarcastic sense of humor skills:

I picked up a couple new hobbies:

**psst** This is a whole new meaning to "on-tap"

I "HEART" BLOGGING

I ended 2007 by doing everything you asked. I even spent the holiday in Mexico. I returned to the office relaxed, rejuvinated and refreshed.

CHRISTMAS @ SENOR FROGS


Then...the new year set in. Doc, I just don't know what to tell ya!! I feel my desk is starting to spiral out of control, I put in 14 hour days all week, have over 200 emails in my inbox that have to be "attached", and worst of all I haven't had a chance to BLOG!!

W...T...F???

I didn't really make any resolutions, other than to keep my momentum.

Have I failed you Doctor??? NO!! Just a moment of temporary insanity. I hope to return to my regularly scheduled insanity by next week.

Well, call in the little men in the big white coats. And alright, I apparently need to take a couple valum and write more in the morning, but I'm going to try and catch-up on sleep, my family and with BLOGGING this weekend. In that order.

Thanks for sticking with me!!!

Grandy

Feeling Lucky??? Wanna Bet?

Now that my ranting and venting is done...and I've had the opportunity to re-read "Temporary Coolness" and love my child again, I can go back to my regularly scheduled post I had planned on for today.

As I was writing my 2007 Year in Review meme, I realized I was blessed with two trips to Vegas this year. I know this may disappoint many of you to learn that I might like to visit "Sin City" but hey, as a people watcher...why wouldn't I dig Vegas?

I like to dabble in the gambling. Not all the time, but I have to tell you there have been a few occassions where the bug has BIT! My best night ever was winning $4,700 at a black-jack table in Washington. When Hubby and I were married in Lake Tahoe, our entire wedding party went down to the casino that night and I won enough to pay off our open bar tab from the reception.

I've dabbled in some online gaming sites before, but never with real money because, well, it scares me sometimes. My twin will play online poker, and I had asked her, how do you know if the site is good?? Reputable? Safe??? She said to look around, so I did.

I stumbled upon online casino, the "Best Online Casinos" site at pro360.com. This site is NOT a gambling site, but a reference site that will tell you about all the different sites that are out there. They have reviews written on every game site you could imagine. It will tell you their origin, how they rate, and what people think about the site.

Want to play Bingo? Blackjack? Craps? Hey...what are you laughing at? Bingo is FUN!!

I didn't even know there was a game called "Carribean Stud" but rest assured...I'll be doing some further investigation on THAT!

They'll even give you a list of Online Casinos accepting US Players. Who knew that it could be limited?? Not me!

As a fan of research, even when playing a game, I'm grateful to have stumbled upon this site. If you are feeling like having some fun (give bingo a shot) but want to make sure you're going to a secure site, I encourage you to give online casino a shot and do your homework ahead of time. You never know, you might get lucky!!

Who was I kidding? Re-Do!

Yesterday's blog was killing me. I don't think some of you realize how truly difficult it was for me not to be entirely sarcastic through the entire ABC meme. I know some of it showed through, but it was definitely work to remain subdued.

Soooo...how to remedy it? Have some more fun!!

I'm going to put a spin on the meme and just go through the alphabet with words I just think are fun to say. Some will be about me, some about others, and some will just be way out there (oh wait...that's still about me isn't it?). See if you can pick out what my friends, family and co-workers would refer to as "Maryisms".

While we're at it, let's pretend I'm doing a field sobriety test and do the alphabet backwards. (For the record, I have never driven while intoxicated. I do, however, have friends in law enforcement who think it's fun to run these tests by me, even when sober.)

Z - Zit - Not a word to describe me...but a fun word to say.

Y - Yummylicious - It's truly all encompassing.

X - Rated...never mind...won't go there...TMI

W - WHATEVER! - Not a big fan when used against me, but it is fun.

V - Vulva

U - Uvula - It's such a great word, and when you say it, the first reaction is to confuse it with the previous word. Kinda almost just like it...but different.

T - Thespian - Yet another word that gets confused with...sounds like...you know...

S - Skosh - As in move over just a ____

R - Red-Headed Butt Knuckle - I know...do butts have knuckles?

Q - Qualm - the word that sounds like "calm" but is the total opposite. Back to the whole "U" "V" thing again.

P - Polyvinylrododospagaspamomo - Not a fun word to say or spell, but it has Po & Mo in it...I'm pretty sure if you jumble the letters, you'll find the whole NaBloPoMo in there a few times.

O - Ostentatious - You instantly sound smart when you use that word, and at the same time become the word.

N - Naked - Fun to say only? I think not.

M - Muttonchops - Just one question...WHY??

L - Lint Licker - Hubby picked that one up somewhere and uses it on his buddies and NO, I don't know why.

K - Kazoo - Now I understand why Mom hated those.

J - Jugular - Serious body part there...seems a bit week because if touched, you're going down.

I - Impotent - As a kid I apparently used to walk around using that word and confusing it with incompetent. Not sure there is a difference really.

H - Hoary - As in "extremely old" and not the mis-spelled "whorey" you all thought I was. Both are equally fun to say...coincidence? I think NOT!!

G - Gobbleygook - My word for "sticky stuff".

F - Fungus - It just screams come hither, doesn't it??

E - Ecdysiast - First one to find out the definition of this word wins a "boobie prize".

D - "Derfwad" - Thank you, Mrs. G.!!

C - Catawumpas - I guess I sleep like that on the bed a lot

B - Beeyotch!! - Quite the popular word

A - A-Hole - I really do use that one quite regularly. Not the a$$ that you are assuming I mean either...I truly say a-hole. Sometimes I pair it with, "There's a-hole in the bucket, Dear Liza, Dear Liza..."

And the best part about this meme? No Tags!!

Have a great Hump Day tomorrow!!

ABCDEFG...la la la la la la la

Well, this could be interesting. dee/otc has tagged me for another meme. I have to tell you people, this woman truly amazes me!! She's got a spirit about her that will knock you over. I'm not sure I can do as well as she did with her ABC Meme (check it out at ABC…easy as 1-2-3, my butt) but I will try.

She says the rules of the game go like this: "List a word that describes you for every letter of the alphabet. Offer as much or as little explanation as you wish. Please keep the words positive (for example, don’t use “fat” for F or “lame” for L), and feel free to get creative. Tag as many or as few people as you wish. Link back to your tagger and forward to your taggees." - Wait... I have to be NICE?? About me?????? Seriously?? Wait...I can be nice but don't have to be serious. Let's see how this works.

Well...here goes...(think positive happy thoughts, Grandy)

A - Awesome!!! No, not me, but I do use that word regularly so I thought I'd start off with that one. If that is cheating...so be it...I'll be awesome then.

B - Blue eyed - It's one of my best features.

C - Cunning - There's a fine line between being diplomatic and calling someone an a-hole...I walk it quite often. It's truly a skill I'm proud of.

D - Directionally Challenged - It's not necessarily a negative about me...I've gotten quite used to making frequent U-Turns.

E - Entertaining - It's always an adventure when someone is with me. I don't even have to try and the fun just happens. Even if it's not intended to be funny...we'll find the humor in it.

F - Friggin FUN - Need I say more??

G - Grateful - I've worked very hard for everything I have and appreciate all the people that helped make it possible.

H - Happy!! - It's unfortunately taken me quite a while to even know what it would take to make me happy, much less recognize it. I am proud to say that I honestly am...and it's very cool.

I - Imaginative - I love the creative process and so appreciate other people's imagination.

J - Jokester - I love having fun with people. It's even more fun when they get the joke.

K - Klutzy - Kinda self-explanatory, but do you know anyone else who had to chase their vehicle from going down the road (without a driver) and got drug through their own property, where their own vehicle hit a tree after going through their fence...Still caught on the car too. What a ride!!

L - Likable - I'd like to think so.

M - Music lover - I can get through anything if I have music to listen to.

N - Nutty - Not like honey roasted nuts...but the Yellow Peanut M&M type.

O - Open - I do not judge people by what they look like or who they like. Ok, I might make assumptions about people if they smell, but that's totally a reflex response. I'll still like them...just from more of a distance.

P - Prolific - I promised dee/otc that I would work that word in.

Q - Quitter - I have successfully quit smoking...again...this time is for good...I mean it!!

R - Resourceful - MacGuyver has got nothing on me. I'm not mechanically inclined, but I can make things happen.

S - Sincere - What you see is what you get...what I say is what I mean.

T - Tenacious - My motto is "That which does not kill me, makes me strong" and when I'm gone, my tombstone will say just that...followed by "Ooops!"

U - Unique - Unparalleled - Unmatched - Undoubtedly so!

V - Voluptuous - It's no fun to describe myself as "full figured".

W - Witty - When the big boss tries to refer his comments as, "I just made a 'Maryism'" I'm either doing something right, or something has horribly gone wrong.

X - treme - There isn't anything I wouldn't do for my family and friends. Nurse them back from surgery, drive hours to make sure they're ok, I will even go shopping at a mall if I have to...and that says A LOT since I hate malls.

Y - Young Hearted - aka...childish, I mean child like...but "C" was already taken.

Z - Zealous - Yep...that's right...I'm full of......................ZEAL.

Whew!! That was a tough one!!! It was fun...but hard to think of that many positive things about me.

Alright...time for tagging...AND please understand I tag you because I really want to see what you come up with:

Linda, who has a lovely affinity for martinis.
Suzanne, because I know how therapeutic it can be to think of fun, positive things.
Michele, who I know will somehow find a way to inspire us all with the words she comes up with.
Renie Burghardt because I know I can learn a lot from this neat lady.
And I could never forget the lovely Mrs. G. who makes me laugh EVERY DAY!!!

New Meaning to Knot Head

Yep, I've returned from my glorious Thanksgiving holiday with the family and friends. I couldn't believe how many people turned out! Shoot...should have taken picture to show, it's really quite a site to see about 20 trailers circled around.

I have returned rejuvenated, I think. I have an idea for a freelance article, and the outline, that I plan to write and submit. I met new people, caught up with some old people (friends really, but after we all went riding around the hills and hiking, we all walked like old people), and still got absolutely no homework done on my "self-study" course (I've been spending so much time on "self" lately, I have completely omitted the "study" part). I also think I got enough blogging content to sail me through the last week of NaBloPoMo (although none of that content is here tonight...I'm pooped and feeling scattered). I'm ab-so-friggin-lutely thrilled I was able to post even the most feeble post (see karaoke post) to stay with my commitment to this.

So, are you wanting to know the only downside of the weekend? Not really? Didn't really feel motivated to read this far?? I don't blame you, but do appreciate your tenacity.

Has anyone camped in a desert for 4 days without being to wash your hair? Anyone? I did the sponge bath thing, but couldn't take a shower. Well, I can not tell you the amount of knots I had in my hair. I feel I'm losing an unusual amount of hair as it is, and I tried to wear a hat all weekend to protect it, but it didn't help. The knots were nuts!! That's the only part I don't look forward to when I get home...the KNOTS!!

I'm pretty sure I could donate the amount of hair that comes out of my head that first night back. SOMEONE could use it for a wig, or a school project, or heck...I heard you can even use it to ward off gophers? I'm not sure about that one, but there has to be a way.

So, if any of you beautiful people have any ideas as to how I might avoid the pain when I get home, please feel free to share. Killer's vote doesn't count, because I suspect he would suggest I shave my head (although I did contemplate it). Anyone?? Grooming is something I struggle with...but I'm trying here.

I got the music in me

Alright, still out camping, and drinking around the campfire. Have so many great blogging things to share but will have to do that when I get back. While we wait...let's see what Karaoke song you would be.

Take my test...p.s. I do secretly like all these songs they've listed for me.

Your Karaoke Theme Song is "Baby Got Back"

You're a total show off who is willing to risk looking like a fool to get a few laughs. In fact, you'll go for the cheap laugh if you need to... because it's better than no reaction! Your friends can count on you to get a party started, and you'll party hard until you can't remember their names. You're charismatic, charming, and a total character. With or without a few drinks in you. You might also sing: "I Touch Myself," "Oops I Did it Again," or "My Humps" Stay away from people who sing: "Candle in the Wind"

What's Your Karaoke Theme Song?

I'm a Big Girl Now!!

Reporting live, from the heart of Moon Rock, Nevada.

Don't be alarmed if you don't know where that is...Neither do I.

We are about 20 miles north of Reno, Nevada, on some large BLM (Bureau of Land Management) Land. Here we are, in the middle of dessert land, with about 20 trailers circled. It honestly looks like a modern day Donner Party. Everyone is huddled around the fires, we had turkey in our trailers, and we are surrounded by dirt bikes and Quads.

I believe I mentioned my thing with going down hills on my quad? Well, if not, I'm telling you now. Maybe it's the whole experience of going off a 40' embankment in a truck, where we hit the tree, that makes me have a different kind of relationship with gravity.

I can't explain the anxiety that comes over me when I get to the top of a steep hill. My heart races and I'm pretty sure I stop breathing. I break out in an instant sweat and I have all the women staring back up at me. These girls are awesome! One of the ladies usually offers to come get me if I end up stuck. I can go up any hill there is, and usually go around the long way to get down. I become paralyzed at the top.

Well, I am pleased to report that today, I mustered up the strength to get my hiney down hill. The quad stalled and I had to coast down the steep hill in neutral, but I made it. I'm not too proud to admit that I screamed like a girl (thank goodness I am one) but I did. I was so excited!! These ladies have ridden with me for years, some were new, but it was an awesome reception when I got to the bottom. Let me tell you.

Let's hope I can do it again tomorrow. But for tonight, I'm going to celebrate my tiny step in the downhill direction.

Don't Tell Anyone

Pssst! Over here!!

Can you keep a secret? Promise? You mustn't tell a SOUL!!

Remember how I mentioned that to be with me it's always an adventure? I'm like Laverne without her Shirley, Lucy without her Ethel. I usually have to warn my girlfriends, if it's going to be a one-on-one day, to watch out. We're going to have some 'splainin' to do when we get done. Well, I have to tell you, it's worse when I'm by myself.

I have to get something off my chest, and feel close enough to you that I might be able to trust you. I once got caught...dumpster diving. You know, diggin' through the trash, mining for goodies. Well, I wasn't actually looking for goodies.

Really, there was a good reason!!

I was cleaning out my car at the gas station, because I absolutely live in it during the week, and was throwing out the random trash from boys in the back seat. I pumped my gas AND checked my oil. I was feeling quite productive and like Supermom!! Able to multi-task in a single bound.

I got back in the car, humming a little song, and went for my keys. Beyond that, I suddenly had an "other" body experience, ya know the kind...where you wish you were someone "other"? I vaguely remember it going something like this:

Keys? WTF? What did I do with my flippin' keys?? Mustn't panic...Look around car...notice large trash can...NO WAY!! They're not in there!! Check the car again, oh sure NOW I clean it. Ok...check under the hood. I had just checked the oil after all. How about the hood? I can't tell you how many things I've lost because I drove off with it on top of the car. Nope...not there!! SHOOT!! Good news is there is no one else at the gas station. NO ONE!! Dare I? What are my options? Call Hubby and have he and son drive 20 miles to get me another set of the keys...while NEVER hearing the end of it until I die?? I'm not thinkin' so. Ummmm...running out of options. Perhaps I can get them out of the top? Here goes...

Ewww...what a smell!! Ok, like the little blue napkin thingy is really helping protect my hands. (Quick...buy stock in Propel NOW!) I remove the lid and look around the top...no keys. DARN!! Don't tell me the darn things took the plunge to the bottom, like they do with my purse.

Just as I get about elbow deep in the can, a car pulls up and stops just next to me. Frozen, and having a new understanding for what deer feel like when caught, I thought if I stood there, no one would notice this lone white woman, who seems bathed and ok, with her entire arm in the trash can. Out walks the most distinguished looking white haired man I've ever seen. Get me out of here!!

Grandy: *Self-Conscious smile* Hi
Handsome white haired man: You CAN'T be having a good day.
Grandy: *Still Smiling* I can't find my keys, I'm afraid I've thrown them in the trash.
HWHM: *Now standing right next to Grandy, looking in the trash* Mind if I watch?
Grandy: Huh??
HWHM: Frankly, my wife's sister just got to the house so I really have NO HURRY to get anywhere, and I get the feeling this is going to be the best laugh I'm gonna get all weekend.
Grandy: Um...Nope...I'm good. But thank you folks, I'm here all week.

Out of sheer horror, and this sudden urge to fake fainting, I pulled my arm out and said, maybe I should check my car again. I walk around the other side, and this time reach into my pocket. ACK!! MY KEYS!! No time to show my excitement at finding them. Now have to somehow exit stage left with any remote shred of self respect I could pull out of my shoes.

Must think fast...how to make this happen...HWHM is still standing there, but his back is to me at the moment. I quickly run to the garbage can, grab keys out of pocket, knock them against the can and say "HERE THEY ARE!!" HWHM can't hide the disappointment as he shakes his head. "Good luck with the sister-in-law," I shout to him. Gotta run!!

I pull out of there as if I'm in the Daytona Grand Prix (or whatever it's called) drive about 2 blocks, pull over, and thrust my head repeatedly on to the steering wheel.

Why do I do this to myself?? I need help....but for now...just another bath.

Appreciate Yourself

It's Saturday night...not many people are out there in the blogging world.
Fellow NaBloPoMo people, how are you holding up?
Need something to post about?
Take this quiz AND feel better about yourself in the process.

Remember..."Be impeccable with your word" means you have to be nice, in your words, about you too. So...let's say something nice about ourselves. What do people envy about you??

People Envy Your Energy

You've got the drive and determination to keep your life in order, and you are on track to be a huge success. People tend to envy all you've got in life, but they don't understand the work that goes behind it!

What Do People Envy About You?

Meme Virgin No More

Can you hear that??

No?

Come a little closer...can you hear it now??

Well, maybe it's my lack of technical skills and not being able to insert fanfare here. I'll have to translate it for you...Dat da daaaaaa!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen...Grandy is pleased to announce...She has received her FIRST MEME!!! Yep, for those of you who are Meme hoes (ahem) ...regulars, you take for granted that all these people want to know so much about you. We do, don't get me wrong. We want to know all about you...why else would we be reading your blog? So...keep memeing (is that a word?) but DON'T take it for granted!


Some of us quiet types however (hey stop laughing) might start to feel a bit self-conscious when she leaves a gazillion comments for people and reads all these great memes and never gets "Tagged".


Well, this meme virgin is about to say good-bye to all chastity and take the plunge (who was I kidding anyway? I was about to Meme myself...but could never truly find out what a meme was).


Without further adieu....I have been tagged by dee/otc, with her post Tag…I’m it. I'm not exactly certain how this works, other than I tell you 5 things about myself. Then, if I've been paying attention, I am to tag 5 other bloggers. Ummm...what happens if there aren't 5 different bloggers who know me?? Ummm...WAIT...I have new friends on NaBloPoMo!! Rock On!! I'm ready!!!

5 Things about Grandy (that you may not know)

1. Grandy has survived two serious car accidents, both involving a tree, and both while being a passenger. PLUS one where the vehicle hit a tree without a driver, while Grandy ran along side of it trying to catch up to it. (Technically that makes trees 3, cars 0...remind me to blog about the driverless auto one another day).

2. Grandy rides a mean ATV, provided she doesn't have to go down too many steep hills. Maybe it's my issue with trees? See above.

3. Grandy is a TiVo junkie...I will pause a program and do something else JUST so I don't have to watch the stinkin' commercials.

4. Grandy is currently two months behind in a "self-study" Claims Law course. Can anyone blame me?? I'm having way too much fun blogging than to be reading about Pleadings & Practice.

5. Grandy is VERY EXCITED about going to Mexico with her family for Christmas. Pero, necessito practicar mi espanol.

There...that was fun!! Was it good for you?? Not so much? Oh well, smoke 'em if you gottem.

Now for my TAGS:
Mrs. G
URBAN PEDESTRIAN
Suzanne
Michele
Sara Louise

There...did I do that right???

Thanks ALL!!