(What you are witnessing is an inner conversation I am currently having as I am preparing to go back to work tomorrow.)
For those of you who have read my blog before, you may know I have been on a MIS (Medically Induced Sabbatical) for a couple months. This work-a-holic's health had pushed her into the doctors saying enough!! Well, originally it was to be until 1/1/08. Now I get to go back tomorrow.
I have my reasons for convincing the doctor to allow me to go back (too many to fit on this blog) but to sum it up, it's time I try putting some of these stress management matters to good use. I've learned there have been some significant changes with respects to my job, but I'm trying not to panic (way easier said than done).
Anxiety is a funny thing. I love the rush I get when I pace and can't control racing thoughts that only sabotage my "relaxation". Oh...and how can I forget the warmth I feel in my cheeks as they begin to flush. At least, as I look on the bright side, I burn calories while I randomly pace from one room to the other, trying to be productive, but not really accomplishing anything. **Fold t-shirt here...relocate mail there...put spoon in dishwasher...REPEAT**
I almost didn't post anything about this, because I'm not feeling very funny at the moment. Then I realized...um...Mary?? I hate to break it to you, but...You're not always funny!!! No big surprise to some of you, I'm sure. However, as I try to be "Impeccable with my word" I am not actually meaning that I'm not a funny person...I'm just sometimes not in the mood to be funny.
I should look on the bright side, I can break things down into positives about going back to work earlier than expected:
- I will get to go back to the office and see my many friends there. - Even though many of those people will be giving me "The Look".
- My son will no longer feel like I'm "suffocating" him at home - HA!! Could he be any farther off?
- I will no longer be reliant on the State of California for my pay check. - And to them, can I say...Seriously people?? Can I really change my voicemail to say, "We're sorry but we have the maximum number of callers on hold...call back later" ????? Not to mention that only in California do you have the option to press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish, and so on. THEN when you press 1 they tell you they have an 800# for Spanish speakers! I speak some Spanish (that's right, I rock) but did I not just press 1???
- I am returning at a good time because I'm excited that we're moving in to a new office building. - Some of the current neighbors were beginning to bug the crap out of me (you know who you are Matthew).
- All this week I get to wear JEANS!!! - Not bad since I haven't bothered to try on any of my business clothes to see if they still fit...have been working out...but not really eating less. Maybe there's a trade off and I'm the same.
Now, I referenced "The Look". I'm afraid it may only be something one can read about but not truly appreciate. Imagine a co-worker coming up to you, looking you up and down, head tilted, eyes squinted, and half smile..."How ARE you??" The eyes are squinted because they are flinching for what you are about to tell them, they are checking you out to see if they can notice any distinguishing changes. These people really do care about asking the question, but I'm not so sure many of them really want the answer.
Well, we'll find out tomorrow!! At least, if nothing else, it will give me PLENTY of topics for the blog!! More to follow...