Managing Expectations

For the most part, Grandy is very good at managing other peoples' expectations.  I try very hard not to disappoint folks, and work diligently at doing what I say I'm going to do.  At the same time, if someone is being unrealistic about their expectations, Grandy will be the first one to tell them too.

Here's an example:

Client says, "Grandy, do you think there's a chance the money will come this week?"

• Knowing they had been working on getting their carrier to pay these funds for several months before they became our client, and now I have only been on this project for two weeks, I respond with...

Um...Let's put it this way...I'm not going to pee on your head and tell you it's raining. 

Granted, Grandy could have just used a simple "NO", or even gone as far as saying "HECK NO", but he wasn't hearing NO, or even the HECK NO part of the conversation.  The only thing that sank in was the pee comment.  Sad...but true.

When someone is in the midst of a "crisis", the worst thing to do is give them unrealistic expectations.  You can't promise that things will get done "by the end of the week", when you know darn well it's taken months to get to this point.  What can I promise?  An update by the end of the week.  And guess what...that update will be there.  It may not have the information you hoped for, but that was never promised.  Just an update.

It's kind of like trying to pretend you know something when you really don't.  People see through you, and there's nothing wrong with saying, "I don't know.  Let me check and get back to you."  They will respect you more in that case anyway, but some people just don't seem to get that and "fake it til they make it".  It's so frustrating!!

There are days that I want to stick my head right out the window and say, "Everybody just calm down and DO YOUR JOB". 

That said, Grandy is having a particular difficult time managing certain expectations this week.  Can you tell?  Whether it's the full moon, the long hours of endless phone calls, or the sheer timing, it's been difficult to be "Grandy" to all people. 

This week, Grandy is going back to basics.  Brutal honesty.  Setting boundaries.  Directing traffic. 

Big week ahead folks.  Lot's of expectations and people counting on me for many things.

Wish me luck!!!

Time Sure Flies

While on my hiatus, I neglected to share all the wonderful and exciting things that were taking place in Grandy-land.  My proudest moment of the year was the night that little-man-Grandy achieved his Eagle Rank designation for Boy Scouts. 

Some of you who may follow this blog (if you're still around) know that we have been scout nerds for many years.  Grandy is in the process of planning his Eagle Awards ceremony as we speak.  As I go through all these things, and try to get his scrapbook together, I ask myself...

How...or WHEN did my boy go from this???

To this????

 *sniff. sniff*

I want my rewind button!!  I want my baby back!!! 

Back to the invitations I suppose.  *sniff*  I'll let you know all about the event, and have more pictures...but much to do. 

Grandy is a SPORTS FAN

Yeah Yeah...Grandy has been absent for months.  My apologies.  To those of you who message me regularly about my lack of participation here at Functional Shmunctional, I can't tell you how much it means that you care.  Please continue to stalk, and I will only get better. 

Grandy IS alive.  Grandy IS well.  Grandy IS busy...but Grandy IS COMING BACK.

For now, just to get the ball rolling, I have just one thing to share...

GO NINERS!!  First time since 1994 we are headed to the Super Bowl!! 

Grandy-Cranky-Isms

Grandy is CRANKY!!  Foul foul mood indeed.  I want to put myself in time-out.

A clear sign that Grandy needs a time-out is when the following conversations take place:

Him #1:  When you're done typing away over there, come see me.

Me:  Well since I have enough work to last me 3 years, I am guessing you might forget what you wanted to tell me by then so...tell me now.

Me: Do you have time to do this today?  I need it ASAP.

Her: Could you tell me what my deadline is?

Me:  How do I translate ASAP into minutes again?

Him#2: Please tell her I will be attending.

Me:  I did. In the email you actually responded to.

Him#2: Oh, I must not have actually read it all.

Me:  SHOCKING!!

Me:  I haven't heard from you responding to my email requests.

Schmuck#1:  How long have you been trying?

Me:  6 weeks

Schmuck#1: Ohhhh...yeahhhhh...ya see.  We have been real busy and short staffed.  Could you send me another email?

Me:  And what should I put on THIS email that would trigger a response?

Schmuck#1:  How about URGENT?

Me:  How about "Bad Faith Lawsuit Pending"...will that work?

As I re-live these moments to share them here, I giggle.  I suppose I am not ready to be completely committed just yet, because as long  as I can still find the humor (regardless of if I can laugh at the time or not) I might still have a fighting chance.

Xanax anyone??  :-)

Paying it forward with a "CLICK"

I'm not exactly sure what is going on in Grandy-land at the moment.  Now that I'm 40 am I going all sentimental?  My usual comical posts appear to be replaced with a few "LOVE LOVE LOVE" posts.  HUH? ::taking temperature:: Let's blame it on a full moon, hormones, or a hangover headache, but here you are...stuck feeling my love with another post.

Wait a minute.  It's not my comical anecdotes that you all were missing.  It was just the posts in general.  Riiigggghhhhtttt!!  *wink wink*  We'll just go with that and say, "I missed you too!" 

In my last post, I explained how very cool our small town of Foresthill is.  What I maybe didn't mention was how "small" it is, in comparison to many communities. 

Our local businesses and community members give their all to support the local Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, 4-H, Little League, Swim Team, Softball, Soccer (and more I know I'm forgetting at the moment) in addition to the Elementary, Middle and High Schools.  We truly are blessed.

I can't count a weekend where there is not a fundraising opportunity for one event or another.  For a small town, we always rally for whatever the cause.  Car washes, spaghetti feeds, Tupperware parties, and this weekend is the annual "FIRE SALE" which is where everybody donates their things 8 months out of the year for a HUGE sale to benefit the local volunteer fire department.

Because we are such a small town, we are often overlooked in the area of corporation donations.  We have launched full force campaigns over the last few years to raise some serious funds to keep things going, as budget cuts keep coming to our small schools.  Budget cuts are affecting schools everywhere, don't get me wrong.  But since this is my blog...I get to talk about MY schools. 

Enter (stage left) an opportunity for YOU...YES YOU...to help our small town.

Were you touched by the story of our fire?  Have you been moved to tears (pass the tissue) over my love for these folks?  Are you ready to hand over your wallets and life savings?  Not so much?  Hehehe...I don't blame you.  Good thing I'm not asking you for money, huh? 

Target has launched a Gift Card campaign.  For every 25 votes our Foresthill High School gets, Target will gift us a $25 gift card.  Did you catch that?  You click...and TARGET pays.  Pretty good gig huh?

So...You have a computer...you have a Facebook...Please check this out and vote for Foresthill High School.  You can vote once a week until 9/8/12 (or until Target runs out of their $2.5M), so be sure to come back and vote. 

FORESTHILL HIGH SCHOOL

True Appreciation: The Robbers Fire Experience

My commute to work is 45 miles each way.  It takes about an hour and fifteen minutes to get in and get out every day, and that's on a good day.  On any given Monday morning or Friday afternoon, it can take well over an hour and a half.  I am often asked WHY I do it.  Some days...I'm not so sure myself.  I work a lot of hours in a day so adding over 2 more hours just to be in the car can get tiring.

Working in a city, and having to travel to many other cities to get to work, does help me appreciate that drive home on Friday evenings, as I'm stuck on the windy road behind campers heading up for their weekend.  There are vehicles pulled off at the side of the road with their bike racks, while their owners are on the trails.  As I get even closer to home I see large vans parked, waiting for their passengers to get done water rafting the American River.  I am instantly reminded that I live where people travel to to "get away" from it all.

While I do live in a "destination" area, there is something many of these people that travel to or through our little town only get a glimmer of.  Our town is more than just a small town with a market, and a park, and a couple of gas stations.  We are a COMMUNITY.

It usually takes something major to appreciate what you have.  For us, it was the recent "Robbers Fire" that burned over 2600 acres and threatened 170 homes.  300 people were evacuated, and our community rallied together like we know how to do.

This was not a stranger helping stranger situation, but rather a friend helping a family.  It didn't matter whether anyone knew the other before this fire or not.  When it was all done, we were all a family.  There were constant updates, volunteer coordination efforts, and an outpouring of appreciation.  With everyone outside our community watching, our locals shined in their spirit. 

THIS is why I live where I do.  Cities have their big buildings and big events...but we have our FAMILY COMMUNITY.

With the over 2100 firefighters working hard to keep us safe, the Red Cross making themselves available, and the daily updates provided by CalFire, we were reminded how very precious our community is.  We all have new friends as a result of this fire.  Our appreciation for all the efforts made to keep us safe is evident by all the thank you signs everywhere, but is preciously summed up by this video.

THANK YOU!!

If Grandy falls in the forest...

We all recognize that Grandy's frequency of posting here on this blog has been sporadic over the last year or so. It might be even longer, if you're keeping track like some of my friends and family.

See this picture?  It symbolizes more than just a tree falling (albeit I do recognize it is not actually "in a forest" but you get the point).  This picture is almost what I envision what I look like after the last few months.  Grandy's head has blown completely off.  Whew!!  It's the pressure leading up to the explosion that makes it tough though.  Now I feel much better.

So...have you missed me??  Did you notice Grandy missing at all? 

Just to recap what's up in Grandy-land.

• Grandy has turned 40 years old - WHAT?  I failed to commemorate the occasion here?  Next post will be about THAT.  
• Grandy was on a 3 week criminal jury trial - DEFINITELY some blog-worthy material in that experience.
• Lil Man Grandy got his driver's license - Still in shock and fear.
• Grandy threw the EVENT OF THE YEAR for the construction industry...and NAILED IT.
• Lil Man Grandy is almost done with his Eagle project and application - nail biting and hard to not help.

That pretty much sums up what's new in Grandy-land.

What have you all been up to??  Hmmmmmm???  

Seems like yesterday...Another Birthday

How did it happen?

Where did the time go?

*sniff*

At some point my boy went from this...


To this...



My son turned 16 this week!!!

As I look back over the years, I'm again grateful for this blog. I look back on past birthday posts, and get to relive every heartfelt moment. THIS is the reason I started this blog. I'm not great at scrapbooking, but man will my guy have something to reflect on in the future...hopefully. I have officially commemorated 4 of his past birthdays here. And I am GRATEFUL!!

Take a walk down memory lane with me...

There's this "Letter to Ty" when he turned 12.
I cried when I re-read his 13th birthday here.
And then of course I was tardy for his 14th birthday.
And then there was FIFTEEN?!?

My son is becoming a man. He is working on his Eagle project, he has a job, and he's getting good grades. We still remind him he has to do his chores, and his room is never clean...so my son is still a kid in many ways. THANK GOODNESS!!

Grandy is truly GRATEFUL!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE MAN GRANDY!!!

Spam-Comments-R-Us

We have all seen spam comments, but maybe you are not all amused to see a comment that is totally irrelevant to your post.

In my last post, I got a spam comment that said, "I really like your blog. There is great research and I really think people could get a lot from your site." RESEARCH? Grandy doesn't write based on RESEARCH. Read just a couple of posts (albeit recently few and far between) and you will see that this blog is based more on comedic or emotional anecdotes, rather than research.

Yeah, that was my FIRST clue.

Then the comment proceeded to connect a link to "hot chicks gone wild", and my personal favorite "beautiful boobies".

REALLY?!?!?!?!?

You stopped me at research, and then had me ROLLING at the boobies folks.

Perhaps you work on your spam-comments-101 class, and try to be a little bit more relevant.

Yes...this is what it feels like

Grandy has been absent for a couple months.

It has been a difficult time in the Grandy home, as fubby has lost his mother. The process of grieving and dealing with her effects has been a bit overwhelming to deal with. There have been many times where I have started to write a blog post or a poem, or post a picture, and then I stop. I didn't realize the impact it all would have on me, nor did I want to acknowledge it out loud.

Grandy stayed strong for Fubby & Little Man Grandy, who I am proud to say have been doing amazing with how they are coping with the loss.

In the last two months, Grandy has also been in charge of various events. Coordinating events, "task forces", putting out fires on my desk at work, and essentially giving new meaning to the phrase "directing traffic", has left me feeling a bit like...

...well...

THIS!!

WTF Wednesday - Saved by the bell

Today was seariously sucking bad. At every turn, Grandy was faced with all things challenging. I came home to not good news even.

Then, Grandy happened to check the status of the book...

THE BOOK!!! The Dead Dad's Club

http://amzn.com/0615458149

Go check Amazon. :)

My day is complete.

Thank you!!

Does this shoe fit?

“Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.” - Bob Packwood

Everybody makes mistakes. Some are small and silly, like driving away from the drive-thru window before you get your food (hasn't everybody done that?). These small and silly ones are typically overlooked or laughed off. In fact, I believe many of these silly things have actually been dubbed "Grandy-isms", which I believe could be defined as the art of doing stupid things.

When a colossal mistake is made, it generally boils down to an error in judgment. The key to fixing these mistakes, or at least I hope it is key, is recognizing the error. If the definition of insanity is truly doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result, then at some point the roller coaster must stop.

Right about now, reader, you are asking yourself why Grandy is waxing philosophical all of a sudden. Well, let me tell you that Grandy has not hit her head (although it does feel like it often) so you need not be concerned about that. Just know that there are sometimes things that can't be thoroughly explored on this blog (because the witness protection program frowns upon it), and try to follow as best you can.

I have never promised my son that I was a perfect human being. In fact I'm pretty sure I blew any myth he might have had on that from the time he hit 2nd grade (ok...maybe kindergarten). What I do promise my son, and will continue to do so, is how to BE HUMAN.

Mistakes will be made but it's how you handle those mistakes, how you face them, and what you learn from them that defines who you are. No matter how bad you think your mistake is, face it. Even if it hurts, acknowledge it.

Can you tell Grandy is currently pleading with all those oblivious to their own mistakes? Alas, those that are oblivious wouldn't even know this blog post applies. HELLO!! If the shoe fits...WEAR IT!! *sigh* I would like to write a song that contradicts Carly Simon's "You're so vain. I bet you think this song is about you." It would go something like, "You're so lame. This song is absolutely about you."

The Book Is Coming!!!

Sometimes life gets in the way of being able to do the things that either calm you, or bring you joy...or both. Writing has always been a hobby and release for me, and this blog has been a way for me to share my random thoughts and sarcasm.

Someone was commenting last night about my "writing skills". Funny thing is, she was referring about my uncanny ability to send one of those "OH HELL NO" emails in a most diplomatic manner. You know the kind, "I can appreciate your position, but respectfully disagree."

I mentioned to this new friend that I have a blog, and she almost didn't believe me. "Why have I never heard of this blog?" she asked. ::Pause:: I didn't know what to say at first. I haven't focused on it for a while (thus the last post being two months ago).

This. Must. Change.

Well, Grandy got some news yesterday, that only the bloggy world could appreciate. A few years back, when the Grandy writing juices were really moving, she "met" another beautiful blogger through NaBloPoMo, who was embarking on a new journey to write a book chronicling the grief process that a daughter goes through when we lose our dads. About 2 years ago, I submitted my story...and it was selected!!!

What a great reminder that perhaps I can tell a story or two.

Guess what folks...THE BOOK WILL BE ON AMAZON IN JUST A FEW VERY SHORT WEEKS!!!

Be on the lookout for Dead Dads Club from the lovely Mary Burt-Godwin at The Mama Mary Show.

More to follow...

Never forget...NEVER FORGOTTEN

Has it really been 10 years? Were it not for remembering my son was only 5 at the time, I would swear it was just a very short time ago.

There were events everywhere to commemorate the anniversary of this event. Our local scout troop retired a very special flag, flown by a man on 9/11/01...and not taken down until Osama was found.

After 10 years, emotions are still very much involved. After 10 years, the sense of comraderie and unity is stronger than ever. I am so very proud of who we are.

I heard this song 3 times today...and of course cried 3 times.

Counting Lessons

When this picture came in an email, it had Grandy LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!!

But then...I realized...What am I laughing at? I'm the one that makes the blackjack dealers count my cards out loud FOR ME.

*sigh*

Maybe this Wal-Mart in Mississippi is on to something.

GRANDY-BUG

This car was Grandy.

It was cute...It was rounded...and it sometimes went topless (which is a different story all together).

Fortunately, this car did what it was supposed to do when it was wrecked. It kept Grandy's injuries to a minimum. Unfortunately, the Grandy SLVRBG did not survive.

I LOVED THIS CAR!!

There is so much more that upsets me about this wreck, that I can't begin to explain. It's not a materialistic thing, but rather that it is just one.more.thing. In the grand scheme of things however, and considering what so many other people are facing in their lives, it could be worse.

Now Grandy has to find a new car. We're not happy about it...and we're NOT going "new" new...but we are happy that the Grandy boys don't have to find a new ME.

Grandy-isms...Work Edition Again

There were about 15 people who reached out to me this week saying, "WTF Grandy!! What's up with the blog?" (alright, perhaps that's a bit of a paraphrase)

So...in honor of all my friends who have been waiting for me to entertain, Grandy presents another rousing chapter of "Grandy-isms". The last couple of weeks have provided for some EPIC material. Remember folks, I can't use names, and must keep it vague as to WHO I may be having these conversations or email exchanges with, in order to keep my job protect the sometimes innocent.

Him: So, what happened with that? Did it slip through the cracks?
Me: Not my crack...yours.

Email exchange:
Adjuster: (received first thing in the morning) Dear Mary, as I promised you last week I will be calling you today to discuss.
Me: (sent at the end of the day) Dear "Adjuster", technically the promise was that you would call me yesterday, given that our deadline is tomorrow. How bout you just tell me in your email, what it is you don't seem to want to tell me on the phone?

Shared on FB...but good enough to repeat:
Him: How did you get so smart?
Me: I surround myself with truly gifted people who help me, or really stupid people who make me look good.
Him: Which one am I?
Me: That depends on the day.

Different "Him": ::smiling:: You were snippy with me in that email.
Me: Which one?
Him: Which email were you trying to be snippy in?
Me: No, they were all meant to be snippy. Which one finally worked?

Her: Why does your office IM status always show as "busy"?
Me: Because there was no status available for "Drowning within an inch of my life".

Different "Her": If I ask you a question, will you give me an honest answer?
Me: Will you be able to tell if it wasn't honest?
Her: I suppose not.
Me: Well there you have it. Let's play!!

There you have it folks. Another brief chapter of Grandy-isms. I really do have a lot of fun at my job. I am easily amused, and it helps get me through the day. :)

Stay tuned next week for "Grandy-isms...Back Stage Edition"

Singing & Dancing Grandy

It has been almost 15 years since Grandy has performed on stage.

It has been even longer than THAT since she has had to kick, two-three-four, turn, kick, turn.

This Friday, June 17th, Grandy makes somewhat of a comeback in The Producers.

When my friend asked me about 6 weeks ago (days before my 39th birthday) if I would consider, I of course hesitated. The work/life balance hasn't exactly been the best feng shui mode lately. 60 hour work weeks. Board Meetings. Boy Scouts. Boosters. There was just not enough hours in the day.

But my girlfriends talked me into it because there are never enough hours in the day. They were right, and it's been a blast. My daily schedule continues, but somehow I'm mustering up the strength to get my butt there. And although my body is asking me, "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING TO ME?" it is lots of fun.

Really. My body hurts like no other. There has been a lot that's happened to me physically since I last did this. If I were in the finance world (which I'm not) I would suggest the following stock tip: Buy stock in Ben-Gay and 5-hr Energy. WOOF!!!

I think my boys notice I'm having fun with it too. Although I come home tired and hurting, I'm smiling.

So...Friday is opening night. There are 6 performances. And Grandy's anxiety level is reaching new heights. It has dawned on me...my past life and my present life are colliding. NOBODY in my current day-to-day life (minus my mom and sisters) have ever seen me perform on stage. They didn't even realize that's what I used to do for a LIVING.

There are A LOT of people dying for the opportunity to catch this. "What? You're going to be funny ON STAGE? REALLY?!?" To which I respond..."Let's hope so."

Kind of exciting...kind of anxious...kind of hope I don't fall off the stage. While Grandy can't promise she will take this on as a regular hobby (remember all the stuff going on), it's good to be "back".

"Let's Do This!!!"

Let's Do This!

Several months ago Grandy got a calling to make a difference in a family's life. She hitched up her pants and gathered a group together, and threw a fundraiser for a young boy who was battling yet another round of cancer.

This event was the most amazing experience ever. Our small community came out in droves, and we were able to raise A LOT of money in two very short weeks. We were connected with this family, and Grandy cried daily. It was humbling to see a renewed sense of caring in the hearts of others.

WHAT?!? People are GOOD?!? This totally goes against everything that Grandy knows about society.

Ok...perhaps we should recap. If there are any readers left, or any new ones out there with nothing better to do, you might need a cliff-notes version of this 4 year blog. Grandy is jaded. Grandy uses sarcasm to mask the fact that she cares too much, but knows that people aren't always capable of doing that.

This event...scratch that...THIS BOY changed things for Grandy. Here is this 9 year old boy, fighting his FOURTH (yes you read that right) FOURTH round of cancer, and he came to the event playing with light sabers. He approached his illness with such bravery.

Grandy reached out to her equally jaded professional community, and the money and support came flooding in. THIS would be why Grandy was crying. The event was AMAZING!!!! The community was AMAZING!! THIS FAMILY IS AMAZING!!!

Last week, our boy lost his battle, and passed. It has rocked me to my shoes!!

As I took lil man Grandy to the prayer service that night, we learned of his brave final moments. As Dad explained what was about to happen to him, he intitially did what would be expected. He asked, "What about my sister? My brother? My friends? My baseball team??" When Dad bravely explained the next step for him, our boy (and believe me this boy belongs to this community) replied, "Alright. Let's do this!!"

LET'S DO THIS!!!

Folks, this phrase will never have the same meaning for this girl again. Grandy has survived a lot in her life... Stroke. Broken Back. Multiple Surgeries. You name it, Grandy has overcome many freakish issues. My favorite quote has always been Neitzche, "That which does not kill me, makes me strong." It will be the quote that goes on my tombstone...of course with the tag line...OOPS!!

Despite all that Grandy has had to overcome, it still feels like not enough. This 9 year old touched many lives. Grandy has more to do.

Grandy's perspective is different now. Not sure what this means, actually. All I can tell you is we should face each day with my new motto...LET'S DO THIS!!!

Are YOU ready??

Miss you Max!!

Mother's Day

We make you eat your vegetables, only so you'll stay healthy.
We give you chores, to teach you a work ethic.
We ask that you keep your grades up, because we know you can.
We ask you to clean your rooms, because we frankly don't want to hurt ourselves or end up gagging over a plate of food that's 3 weeks old.

What you may not realize is...

When you are nervous about a test, so are we.
When you are heartbroken with your first "break-up", so are we.
When you feel joy at finishing that project, so do we.

Being a mom is the best job in the whole world. We wouldn't trade it for anything. Thank goodness this is a job we never get to retire from.

I learned what I know about being a mom, from my Mom and doing what I thought made sense. What makes sense to me doesn't always make sense to you, but I hope it might someday.

Thank you to all my moms who have influenced my life, and is playing a role in my son's life. It truly does take a village, and I have the best village around.

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom...and THANK YOU for giving me a GREAT gig to my son!! LOVE YOU!!