Thursday, November 13, 2008

Grandy Has a P-R-O-B-L-E-M


Hi. Um...My name is Grandy.

It has been 6 hours since my last...well as some would call it..."big cup of WHY BOTHER".

I call it, "Iced-Venti-Sugar-Free-Fat-Free-Carmel-Macchiato-Yummy-Goodness."

Do you understand why people might call it "WHY BOTHER?" It's because of the sugar-free and fat-free thing. I know. It makes little sense to me too. But trust me...it's goooooood.

The barista beyotches will look at me funny when I order it. Some of them know me by now, and they know I must have it the way I order it. If they put the sugary syrup in there, Grandy get's violently ill. If they put the regular milk in...well nothing happens. It just helps that I keep it on the skinny side.

Then I will get the comment, "Well you know the caramel is not sugar-free."

Um yeah...I know...but you put a little squirt of that in there and it gives it enough of the yummy. Put 4 pumps of sweet syrup in there and Grandy is in your bathroom scaring your customers.

The current problem is...well...the drink is Grandy's problem. This caffeinated goodness has substituted itself in Grandy's daily life as her new liquid crack.

It started out with the tall size (really? why do they call it that?)

Well then Grandy went to the Grande.

Then the Uber Venti size.

Reader. I am almost embarassed to say that this week (twice this week actually) Grandy has bought 2 in one day. I have not bought 2 at the same one, because I just know they will recognize me and know of my problem.

It's yummy goodness has truly taken over my life.

I don't smoke. I hardly drink (it doesn't take much). I can't have any carbonation. No chocolate. No candy. No ice cream. No desserts.

This is the ONLY vice Grandy has...but I fear it is still a dangerous vice to have.

Tell me reader...

Is there hope for me??

16 comments:

bonoriau said...

Wooow I love Carmel Macchiato...I won't miss it if I drop by SB.

Suzanne said...

I don't like Starbucks, but in a pinch, that's what I'll get.

If they were nice, they'd carry the sugar free version of the caramel. I don't know how they do it, but Monin makes a sugar free caramel.

How do I know, because my lovely Baristas at my beloved Indigo (which I miss) went through ALL the syrups one time to see which sugar free use the evil NutraSweet and which use Splenda!

Two in one day? You probably made Ricochet Rabbit look like he was slow!

Persnickety Ticker said...

This was absolutely hilarious! I almost spit coffee out of my nose! Of course, it would have been just the regular instant with the peppermint mocha coffeemate in it(my current addiction.)

Deanna said...

It's only a problem if you realize at 3 pm that you've had nothing to eat, and the tremors have taken over and your more rational side has disappeared as evidenced by your snapping your child's head off when they ask you a simple question and they respond with "Mom, have you eaten today? How much coffee have you had?" - and it can happen with regular home coffee. It's a good thing we live in the sticks - I could single-handedly pay at least 2 employees annual wages if there was a Starbucks within driving distance! (well, if I didn't want to pay my mortgage and all...)

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

When my husband had that problem I had to add up how much he was spending and whomp him over the head with it.

Mrs. F said...

OMG, you are going to go broke from drinking too much coffee.

Good lord, woman, 2 a day????? You be crazy. I myself prefer to brew my own coffee and drink about 10 cups a morning. Heh. I think the pot just called the kettle black.

songbird's crazy world said...

Waaah...can you believe there's no Starbucks within walking distance of my office? We've got Au bon Pain and some local coffee shop, but Starbucks is over a mile away...though I've been known to stop in the SB in Penn Station, before taking my train home, to feed the addiction...

Mariuca said...

He he of coz there's hope for u Grandy!! :)

Mariuca said...

My fave drink from Starbucks is the iced latte, YUM! But I've never had 2 in one day lol! :):):)

Christina said...

As one who did a dance of joy this morning to see that it is ginger-snap latte season (It was ginger bread last year..whatever!)...I really cannot help you :-)

Tricia said...

There's no hope. Once an addict, always an addict. If you find a 12-step program, please let me know. Starbucks is like my Cheers and when I walk in they not only know my name, they know my "usual" and the other day they GAVE me one of their new black & gold customer rewards cards...nope, there's NO hope!

Momisodes said...

Seriously? No desserts, carbonation, chocolate, OR ice CREAM?!?!?!

Good heavens woman.

Drink up.

You deserve it.

I have all 4 of those at once sometimes. Plus a coffee.

Perhaps I'm the one that needs help :(

songbird's crazy world said...

kidlet and I stopped at barnes & Noble today on our way over to her boyfriend's house. Around here the B & N cafe is a STARBUCKS!!!! We both ahd the peppermint hot chocolate.

Travis said...

It's ok. Give yourself permission for this.

And I do understand the sweetness thing. I switched from Mocha to the Caramel Machiatto - or howeverthehell you spell it - because the Mocha became too sweet.

I go by Starbucks because it's convenient, but my preference is a place called Tully's.

Grandy said...

Bono~ I can't miss it.

Suzanne~ Wow! That's nice of them to check into all that. And yeah, Ricochet Rabbit has nothing on me.

Persnickety~ HA!! LOL...Might have to try that current addiction.

Deanna~ The dang company has like 5 between my house and work. UGH!!

Jenn~ Don't tell my hubby because he already wants to whomp me over the head.

Mrs. F~ Um yeah...come sit here next to me at the next meeting. I'm saving a seat for you in the front row. ;)

Grandy said...

Songbird~ No Starbucks within walking distance? That's why man invented cars, silly!

Mariuca~ HAH!! You on 2 latte's in a day would be too much cheery I feel.

Christina~ Alright...you're going to carpool with me to the next meeting. Got it?

Tricia~ I sent my hubby in with a texted order of my drink (to make sure he got it right) and they still knew it was me.

Sandy~ Umm... Where do you put it?

Songbird~ Are you bragging? I think you might be. ;)

Travis~ Tullys? I don't know that one. Must be YUMMY!!