Sunday, January 10, 2010

Grandy Strikes Again

I think it's safe to assume that when Grandy is out in public, the adventures never stop. It's sometimes a good thing when there are people around to witness the hilarity that ensues. And then there are times that...well...you almost wish that there were no witnesses, because when there are, you will NEVER live it down.

Case in point...Grandy's most recent adventure.

The scene: VERY fancy and elegant Dim Sum restaurant in San Francisco. My co-workers and I are sitting at a VIP table with the owner and her family. These are elegant and almost royal Asian women. They disply nothing short of class and grace. (Grandy is intimidated a bit by their presance but they are so gracious, they make you feel comfrotable.) It's lunchtime, and this restaurant is bussling with business. There's quite a bit of ambient noise.

Daughter: Mary, are you "Adventurous"?
Me: Sure! I'm game for anything! (of course I am)
Daughter: Really? We have "Chicken Feed" (and she does the quotes with her fingers) on the menu. It's kind of a delicacy, but some people don't like it because they can't get past the texture.
Me: Why? How bad can it be? Is the corn raw or something?
Daughter: Are you up for trying it?
Me: (Not one to refuse a challenge) Sure!
Daughter: Mom! Mary's going to TRY the "Chicken Feed".
Mother: REALLY?!? That is WONDERFUL!! Oh Mary, I do hope you like it.
Me: Oh I'm sure it will be fine.
Daughter - To the waitress: We're going to have an order of ::raise of the eyebrows:: "Chicken Feed".
Waitress: Oooohhhh! Okay!!
Me: Why did you do your eyebrows like that, when you said that?
Daughter: Oh, it's just because I'm excited.
Me: ::thinking to myself...what's the big deal? It has to be raw corn, maybe mixed with something::

The waitress returns with a silver platter, covered with a dome lid. There's a sense of excitement as she delivers it with flair and sets the platter in front of me on the table. My co-workers are smiling at me, seemingly impressed with what I'm about to do.

The lid comes off...

Grandy looks at it, puzzled. There's not a single piece of corn in this bowl. There's obviously enough for others around the table, but it looks like there are breaded things in this bowl. There are several, and it's hard to make out what it is. The waitress puts a piece on my plate.

Me: ::thinking to myself:: That's odd, it almost looks like...
Daughter: Well? What do you think?
Me: IT'S A CHICKEN FOOT?
Daughter: Yes, it's Chicken Feet! (She says proudly with a smile)

Mind you...this is the VERY first time Grandy has heard the word "FEET".

Daughter: What do you think?
Mother: ::looking so proud:: It's a delicacy, and people really either love them or hate them.
Me: ::staring at a single chicken foot on her plate, cooked in what looked like a thick terryaki sauce:: Ummm...You have to know that up until now, I thought you were talking about chicken FEED. With a "D".
Daughter: You thought we were saying FEED?
Me: Yes.

The entire table breaks out in laughter, simultaneously. My co-worker to my right has tears coming down, she's laughing so hard, as I find myself staring at a lone chicken foot on my plate. The Mother and Daughter are even graceful as they laugh hysterically at me, and the waitress puts a foot on each of their plates.

Mother: ::gathering herself:: So? Will you still try it?
Me: (Never one to disappoint. EMBARASS...but not disappoint) ::smiling:: Of Course!

The dang thing was slippery as all get out. I'm pretty good with chopsticks, but this foot kept slipping out and dropping. Now there's an audience watching for my reaction, and I can't get the dang thing in my mouth.

I take a bite...

They're watching anxiously...

Me: Not BAD!!
Daughter: Really? Do you like it?
Me: It's really not that bad. It is pretty much just skin and bones (spitting a bone into my napkin) but it just still...tastes like chicken.

Laughter.

Me: Well, it's official!!
Daughter: What's that?
Me: Proof now that they use every part of the chicken.

Laughter.

Co-worker: You are NOT going to live this down any time soon.
Me: I figure as much.

STORY OF MY LIFE!!

7 comments:

Mariuca said...

LOL I have never tasted chic feet... although some places do serve them here.. can't bring myself to eat all dat skin.. as it is, I don take the skin..will always remove skin before cooking. Too slimy for me! :)

Joyce-Anne said...

Hahaha! I had a feeling something was up when I noticed a certain status... However, I had no idea you actually tried chicken feet!! You know, you may never live this down.

Suzanne said...

Believe it or not, my husband LOVES them. He'd trade places with you in a second.

For future reference, I think it is customary to suck on the feet. :)

Persnickety Ticker said...

First of all...EWW. Not me, not ever. Won't touch the pickled pigs feet, either.

Second. ComFROtable and bussling had me giggling more than any word nerd really should.

My spell check isn't working on my blog either so I am sure the latest post is a literary disaster.

Wiggy said...

You are a braver person then me Grandy thats for sure!

The Mother said...

There ought to be a law against children playing pranks on their parents. It's just so mean.

Anonymous said...

ROFL Mary you crack me up ... and are much braver than I!!
~J