Thursday, December 18, 2008

Grandy's Office Party

'Tis the season to lose reason!

Fa-la-la La-la la-la La La

Pass the drinks and screw the season!

Fa-la-la La-la la-la La La

It's that time of year boys and girls!! A time of year where we are forced to brave the roads in bad weather. A time where we must share the roads with everyone else on the planet. Our favorite time of year where we all converge on the stores in search of crap gifts for our loved ones.

Throughout the season, the true spirit of the Holidays is truly lost on many. Christmas is not about the sales, the gifts, the crappy weather. It's all about the FUN!!

And what provides a recipe for fun more than the OFFICE "HOLIDAY" PARTY? Alright, because I don't care about being PC here (it's my blog and I can say Christmas if I want to) I am going to call it the OCP - Office Christmas Party.

Grandy's office party rocked like it was 1999 (sing it artist formerly known as...and now known as...whatever your name is). Let's face it, these things are a hoot to attend just for the sheer entertainment value alone. It should almost be a requirement for anyone with a blog to be forced to attend their OCP so they can come back as the roving reporter and spill.

The funny thing about OCPs? Um...helloooooo....WE WORK WITH THESE PEOPLE!!!

We know the saying, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

Well it can't possibly stretch the imagination to, "What happens at the OCP, stays at the OCP." Really. Don't. It's just not worth it.

So...without further adew...Here are some things Grandy overheard at her OCP...

Lady hugging salesman - "What? No Tongue?!?"

Suck-up Salesman of the Year (title not earned for "salesman" by the way) -
"I LOVE that guy!" as he just met the new president of the company. As he walked away, he says to same new president, "Go UTAH!! Give me knuckles MAN!!"


Lovely young thing (interrupting while Grandy was having a conversation in a group of 6 men)-
"Oh my gosh!! You are not just smart and funny now, girlfriend! You are smart, funny AND HOT!!" (yep...Grandy wanted to hide)

Different Lovely Young thing to Salesman -
"So...what do you want? To go with her? OR me?"
- Really...I can't make this up. There was a finger twirl of the hair happening to. This could have been a complete honest Three's-Company type misunderstanding but...methinks not.

Salesman - "You will save me if she has too much to drink, right?" (for the record? she did...and Grandy did not. Dance Puppet!!)


All in all it was a grand party. There were so many people who had not seen me in over a year, and since losing all my weight, that people didn't realize it was me. Then I spoke. I spoke the truth, I spoke the funny, I spoke the real.

Watch out people!!

Oh yeah...and Lovely Young Thing? You are are sweet...guys notice... you don't have to work so hard.

I'm just sayin'

**Edit: Don't know how I forgot about the wonderfully generous gift card the company gave each employee. It was very nice. But the icing on the cake statement for the night?

One Boss Man (while looking at the back of the gift card) - "Mine is EXPIRED! It says 12/12."
Grandy - "Um...It's not a carton of milk. That is for the year."



Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I knew it was more fun if you actually knew the people.

Anonymous said...

Oh my! I am so glad I didn't have a mouth full of coffee when I landed here! LOL

Deanna said...

Guess that explains why he's the Boss Man, eh?


Joyce-Anne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joyce-Anne said...

Love your retort to "boss man" about his gift card having expired. Some people just don't think...

Leslie Rubio said...

So, I came to your blog through another blog and I'm so glad I did-funny funny stuff!

I'll be back and thanks for sharing your wit with us all.


storyteller said...

What fun! I guess I do miss out on some things being happily retired, eh? Such is life ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

LadyJava said...

hehehehhe.. too much fun!!! lol!!

How are you Grandy? Long time no see dearie.. hope you are keeping well :)


Mrs. F said...

OOooh. I love OCP's. I have one coming up on Sunday, but with all the drama that lies beneath the business I am not sure if I am going to go or not. I promised the kids though, and they are going to be so disappointed if we don't go.

Sounds like you had FUN!!

Anonymous said...

I have one next weekend for my husband's work. He works at a Mission, but that doesn't mean there won't be repeatable roving reporter type fodder brought back to the blog!


XUP said...

Happy Holidays. Office parties are the best. You find out sooooo many interesting things about your co-worker

Momisodes said...

ROFL at the Boss Man! Not the sharpest, eh?

I miss office parties. They really are entertaining and usually provide enough blackmail material for another year :)

Grandy said...

Jenn~ It is! Trust me.

Theresa~ Not responsible for liquid shooting out your nose. Nuh-Uh!!

Deanna~ Oh yeah...that explains it alright.

Joyce-Anne~ No, they don't.

Leslie~ HI! Thanks for stopping by and sharing. Hope to see ya around!

Grandy said...

Storyteller~ That's when you need to host a party for all your retired friends...and let the hilarity ensue. ;)

LJ~ I'm doing alright, thanks!! Glad to see ya around.

Mrs. F~ You MUST share about your party!! MUST!

Dory~ Hmmm... could be interesting.

XUP~ Yes you do! Happy Holidays, Beautiful!!

Momisodes~ Another least.

Renie Burghardt said...

Oh, I so miss going to Office Parties! But at my age, Christmas Bingo is the big thing! Hahaha.

But it sounds like your office party was great fun! You got some good "quotes" out of it, and we got some laughs.

Merry Christmas, funny lady!



Mariuca said...

Hola Grandy! Thanks for visiting my blogs over the weekend. Did u enjoy the cookies and milk I left out for you? :):):)

Mariuca said...

It's been a while since I've been to an office party, I miss it! :)

Mariuca said...

I hope u are enjoying a nice Sunday with hubby and the kids! :):):)

Grandy said...

Renie~ Don't knock Christmas bingo. It sounds like fun!! ;)

Mariuca~ Thanks for the cyber cookies & milk. Yum yum!!