Annual Christmas Letter

Dear Friends & Family,

Wow! I can't believe another holiday season is upon us. It's been an amazing year! Bob got that big promotion at the Extenze plant. He's been really selling the "dick-ens" out of those little blue pills (forgive the pun). No complaints from his female boss either. All those long nights of work with her have finally paid off, and she gave him the promotion AND a raise. I'm still not exactly sure why he had to buy her the diamond earings to show his appreciation, but he IS very sweet that way.

Little Timmy is currently on the honor roll in his 3rd grade class. We've finallly convinced him to stop eating the paste during arts and crafts. Ever since we started sending him to school with lunch money, however, he seems to be coming home even more hungry than before. I'm sure it's just a hungry spurt, because I know he's spending every last penny because he never even comes home with a dime of change. That cafeteria food must be a real treat..

Things haven't changed much for me this last year. I'm still working the drive-thru at the big McDonalds on Main Street. I'm next in line to be head cashier, and then it's only a matter of time before I get to be a shift leader.

As you can see, we're doing great things in the family this year. But I am looking forward to 2009 coming to an end. I'm hoping that you all get a little something special under your tree.

Merry Christmas!!!

Dear Santa,

Grandy has NOT been a very good girl this year. She knows this. In fact, she knows that there may very well be a special place in hell gift waiting for her on Christmas morning.

Grandy does have a small problem, however. Despite all the chiming bells, decorations, and massive ass crowds holiday shoppers, Grandy has had some difficulty mustering up the Christmas spirit.

She has tried watching all sorts of holiday movies that might help, but she can't make it past the 33rd commercial break in the first 20 minutes. She attended a Christmas parade last weekend, and proceeded to provide sarcastic commentary with some friends. (Ok Santa, that was pretty fun, but probably not the fun you had in mind.)

There's no tree. No decorations. No baking. It's two weeks before Christmas, and Grandy is feeling ever-so-ebinezer-ish. In fact, there are only a couple differences between Scrooge and Grandy at the moment. Scrooge has tons of money, and no friends. Grandy has tons of friends, and no money.

WAIT!! That's IT!!!

Grandy gets it now!! Christmas is about appreciating those you haven't killed yet love. It's about gathering with family and requiring more therapy reliving old memories. What was I thinking?

Ok Santa, tomorrow Grandy will try to get her tree up. She will pull some frozen cookie dough out of the freezer, and bake it (these domestic things take time). Since Scrooge finally found the meaning of Christmas, I suppose Grandy can too.

Thanks Santa!!

xoxo

Grandy

p.s. If it's not too much trouble, Grandy would really appreciate you overlooking some of her stupidity antics this past year. She knows you won't buy the temporary insanity bit for too much longer.

My Boys

So many of you thought that I only had one boy...

Well get a load of the rest of my boys...

At any given time we have one, several, or all of these boys with us.

They're a group of knuckleheads, but I gotta love them.

I was so proud of them this morning at the 4th of July parade.

I hope you all have a glorious holiday weekend!!

Grandy's Favorite XMas Present - 2008

The Grandy family was very fortunate again this year for Christmas. Although I did feel a bit remiss and hesitant that this year could in no way compete with last year's Christmas in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I mean...come on...it's pretty tough to compete with this beauty:

Not to mention the fact that we got to immerse ourselves into their culture. It was a swell experience for all of us, but the lessons that Ty got from it will stay with him and made him thirsty to learn more about different cultures.

So this year, this Grandy was not overly looking forward to Christmas. Last year's trip of nearly killing myself while zip-lining through the canyons of Mexico left me feeling...well...a bit ho-hum.

Well that feeling soon faded when I discovered I needed nothing more than a simple holiday with my family. Just the 3 of us, spending quiet time together. That was all someone who spends her days running in 12 different directions, for the company, the community, and everyone in between, needed.

And in the gift department, the Grandys are together making a concerted effort to save money this year. Hubby will turn 40 in November and we've decided to save money for a trip to Alaska. So the gifts between me and Hubby were simple. While at the same time, very special.

Hubby has not always mastered the gift giving. Quite often I will open a gift, like slippers for example, and he will go into our room and get the pair he had gotten himself as well. I am truly about the thought of the gift, but when left to wonder if the thought came from meeting his needs or mine, then sometimes my appreciation is not what it should be. It may sound ungrateful, and I don't mean to be, but I like to know he thought about my little cold feet when he bought them. I don't need to wonder if he said "Ooooh, I need some of these," and figured he better get some for me too.

Call me sentimental.

So this year Hubby did something I would have NEVER anticipated. And it wasn't even just the gift that thrilled me so, it was the acts that followed the gift. He bought me this:

This is NOT a movie that Hubby would have any interest in. Oh sure, I bought him Casino Royale, because I know what a 007 Bond fan he is, but he knows I wanted to see this movie in the theatre and didn't get a chance to. AND he would have no interest in watching it because musicals just aren't his thing. But guess what...on Christmas he insisted we watch it AFTER he cooked Filet Mignon for Christmas dinner.

Thank you honey!! That is exactly the thoughtfulness that I appreciate!!!! :)

YYYY I LOVE YOU!!! YYYY

See Ya Suck-It 2008 - Let's Ring Bring-It 2009

Well ladies and gents, the time has come to officially let 2008 KISS MY ASS pass through, like sands through the hour glass. As I look back on the past year, I feel truly blessed to have survived with my sanity in tact...or at least barely in tact.

SUCK-IT 2008 did not suck for me because of the economy of the world, gas prices, or the outcome of any proposition election decisions made. Let's face it, I have no control over those things, so I'm determined not to let it affect my mood. It may sound Polly-anna like, but trust me, I have to try and stay positive.

SUCK-IT 2008 has sucked for the following reasons:

1) December 2007 wrapped up the year with a glorious trip to Mexico with the family, which I have often referred back to, fantasized about returning. However, the trip was still in the midst of my sister's open heart surgery and so that was how we rang in the new year.

2) When this blog began in October 2007, I was on a "medically-induced sabbatical". I returned in November 2007. January was when my health started to decline again, and the pressures of work started to wear on me.

3) March saw my first major surgery of the year. 3 weeks into my recovery, I was on the road again with my sister, to show our love and support for a dear sweet aunt. What a year this woman had. She is so strong, and we truly love her.

4) In April, Grandma's health start to decline. She had taken a nasty fall in March, and it got worse as she began to lose her will. She ultimately lost her fight in May. Miss you lady!!

5) July, August, September, October, November and December saw the Grandy family dealing with health issues with the youngest Grandy.

6) October saw my 2nd major surgery, after dealing with significant pain through August and September, partnered with extensive painful testing throughout.

7) Sprinkled in throughout the year saw two brother-in-law lay-offs, one brother-in-law major back surgery and pain (my heart breaks for them and I pray he will recover soon), more health scares for sister with the heart surgery, friends laid off, "acquisition" at work, dying pets in the family, and a partridge in a f*cking pear tree.

There were some high spots in 2008, and I tried very hard to focus on those here. I never intended to be about pages and pages of "woe-is-me-isms". Instead, I prefer more and more "Grandy-isms".

So...am I ready to say good-bye to 2008? You BET!!

That's why I'm ready for "BRING-IT 2009"!!

Who's with me?????

I only have one New Year's Resolution...Not to require anesthesia for the year. It can be done... I know it!

The Yearly Recap

It's that time of year when Grandy receives letters from her friends that talk all about the year they've had. We love getting these letters as a recap from friends, and although we know some of it is friggin' crap bragging a bit embelished, it is still nice to get these updates. Without these, we might not ever be able to keep track of exactly what Tommy is doing in his Freshman wrestling team.

Well now it's time to put a fun spin on these holiday letters. Who's game??

Dear Family & Friends;

Wow! It's hard to believe that 2008 is already coming to a close. This year has been great for our family! Where should we begin

Uncle Louie finally found his teeth, which helps because he and Aunt Laverne won't have to share hers anymore. Praise Jesus!

Our kids, Leroy, Linus, and the twins, Larry and Larnell are all doing real good. They are all on schedule to graduate the 5th grade together this year. We're really crossing our fingers that Leroy makes it this time. He'll be old enough to drive this year, and that would really help if he could drive his brothers around more, especially with the new baby due in the spring.

Oh yeah! I didn't mention that! Leroy Sr., the love of my life, has been doing real real good. He's been allowed more congi- cong- um- er- one-on-one visits with me at the prison, and we finally have a girl due in the spring. Leroy says it's on account a him being the bitch for a change, that's how he made a girl. Either way, I'm real excited for little miss Lucille to join our family soon.

I've been real fortunate at work. We had a biker convention roll through town and I got all kinds of overtime at the mini-mart. Some of them even tipped me on account I'm pregnant and working through the holidays. That pregnancy card sure can come in handy over the holidays.

Well, I better wrap this up so I can go and wrap the kids' presents. I'm sure you won't tell them, but I got them each their own toothbrushes this year. They will so like not having to share that anymore. I also got them some baseball cards at a yard sale. I don't recognize any of the players, and I can't say any of their names, but the boys love their baseball so I'm sure they'll like 'em.

I hope you all have a great 2009. I'm sorry I don't bother to write or call throughout the year until now. It's only cuz...well you know... I don't really like y'all anyway.

Yours truly,

Me

Grandy's Office Party

'Tis the season to lose reason!

Fa-la-la La-la la-la La La

Pass the drinks and screw the season!

Fa-la-la La-la la-la La La


It's that time of year boys and girls!! A time of year where we are forced to brave the roads in bad weather. A time where we must share the roads with everyone else on the planet. Our favorite time of year where we all converge on the stores in search of crap gifts for our loved ones.

Throughout the season, the true spirit of the Holidays is truly lost on many. Christmas is not about the sales, the gifts, the crappy weather. It's all about the FUN!!

And what provides a recipe for fun more than the OFFICE "HOLIDAY" PARTY? Alright, because I don't care about being PC here (it's my blog and I can say Christmas if I want to) I am going to call it the OCP - Office Christmas Party.

Grandy's office party rocked like it was 1999 (sing it artist formerly known as...and now known as...whatever your name is). Let's face it, these things are a hoot to attend just for the sheer entertainment value alone. It should almost be a requirement for anyone with a blog to be forced to attend their OCP so they can come back as the roving reporter and spill.

The funny thing about OCPs? Um...helloooooo....WE WORK WITH THESE PEOPLE!!!

We know the saying, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

Well it can't possibly stretch the imagination to, "What happens at the OCP, stays at the OCP." Really. Don't. It's just not worth it.

So...without further adew...Here are some things Grandy overheard at her OCP...

Lady hugging salesman - "What? No Tongue?!?"

Suck-up Salesman of the Year (title not earned for "salesman" by the way) -
"I LOVE that guy!" as he just met the new president of the company. As he walked away, he says to same new president, "Go UTAH!! Give me knuckles MAN!!"

Whoawhohuh??

Lovely young thing (interrupting while Grandy was having a conversation in a group of 6 men)-
"Oh my gosh!! You are not just smart and funny now, girlfriend! You are smart, funny AND HOT!!" (yep...Grandy wanted to hide)

Different Lovely Young thing to Salesman -
"So...what do you want? To go with her? OR me?"
- Really...I can't make this up. There was a finger twirl of the hair happening to. This could have been a complete honest Three's-Company type misunderstanding but...methinks not.

Salesman - "You will save me if she has too much to drink, right?" (for the record? she did...and Grandy did not. Dance Puppet!!)

****

All in all it was a grand party. There were so many people who had not seen me in over a year, and since losing all my weight, that people didn't realize it was me. Then I spoke. I spoke the truth, I spoke the funny, I spoke the real.

Watch out people!!

Oh yeah...and Lovely Young Thing? You are beautiful...you are sweet...guys notice... you don't have to work so hard.

I'm just sayin'

**Edit: Don't know how I forgot about the wonderfully generous gift card the company gave each employee. It was very nice. But the icing on the cake statement for the night?

One Boss Man (while looking at the back of the gift card) - "Mine is EXPIRED! It says 12/12."
Grandy - "Um...It's not a carton of milk. That is for the year."

TOO MUCH FUN!!!

PRICELESS

The Grandy family typically goes camping every year for Thanksgiving. For at least the last 7 years we have had turkey in our trailer, at one desert or another. It was perfect! We would order one of those turkey dinners from the store, it would fit perfectly in our oven, and we would feast.

Don't believe me? Take a gander at this pic (taken with Grandy's cell phone; pre-beautiful-camera days)...

Blackened Batcave BATMAN!!! Grandy just realized this pic was taken July 2007. About 18 months and 80 pounds ago...That WAS Grandy's ass on that Quad.

More importantly (no really, get your eyes of the "artist formerly known as" Grandy-Ass) please note my Trailer behind me.

The Grandys LOVED that trailer. It was our main mode of vacationing. Then...Grandy got whiny and started saying stupid stuff like, "It would be nice if we could take a where I wasn't surrounded by nothing but dirt."

Well, Grandy got her wish! (stupid Grandy) Last Thanksgiving we noticed a soft spot on the floor of the trailer. Uh-Oh! Better take it in!! We have really good trailer insurance (of course we do, Grandy works in Insurance) and they'll take care of it.

Well...we take the trailer in. Months go by...surgeries happen...more stuff happens...no trailer yet...Guess what folks! Grandy's trailer ends up being a TOTAL LOSS!!

"WHAT?!?" I know you're asking yourself.

It's true though. That soft spot on the floor was just the start. Apparently water had gotten in and completely rotted out most of the floor under the bed and in spots where we had not known it. We were fortunate because the trailer was covered, and in retrospect, I suppose it was better to find out this way rather than losing our bed on the interstate.

The Grandys had to cancel their Easter 2008 trip to Nevada, their July 2008 trip to Oregon, couldn't take our few trips to Dillon's Beach to go crabbing, etc. By the time Thanksgiving was upon us, we decided we weren't going to let the fact that we didn't have a trailer keep us completely off the dirt. Poor Ty had missed out on some good riding time.

So...Grandy rented a room at a hotel in Reno (which is about 20 miles away from where all our peeps were camping) and checked in about 11:00pm on Thanksgiving. Grandy couldn't sleep that night, the whole holiday just wasn't the same.

The next morning Grandy gets up, feeds her addiction, and slowly makes her way out to the vehicle (pouting), where we have all the bikes tied up on a flat trailer.

As they approach the vehicle, Grandy notices a yellow slip on the windshield. Too big for a ticket? Too small for a flyer? There was one on a truck parked next to us that had a U-Haul trailer attached to it. It was the security guard slip reiterating the parking policy. They tried to say we were blocking another space, and the aisle way, and we couldn't park there. We absolutely were not, we parked WAY OUT to make sure we didn't block anyone (the Grandys are good that way) and were not blocking any aisles.

"What a BOOB!" Grandy says to Hubby while reading the notice.

Then...it appears! The most hysterical coincidence EVER!! It truly made the rest of my day and snapped me out of my stupid pout.

Grandy notices the name of the officer:

a·re·o·la - (ə-rē'ə-lə) - Anatomy; small circular area such as that around the human nipple or an inflamed area around a pimple or insect bite.

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Not getting to do your traditional Thanksgiving in your trailer? = SUCKY

Getting a parking notice from a putz security guard with too much time on his hands? = SUCKY

Same putz having a name that is an anatomical part of the boobie? = PRICELESS

Thanksgiving Smile

Because Grandy hopes someday we can all just get along, sit around the fire, and sing Cumbaya.

Here's hoping this pic I found over at photobuckrt makes you all smile.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

The Beauty of Mexico through the Camera

These aren't necessarily in chronological order, but I wanted to post some of the beauty we found in Mexico. I hope I was able to do it some justice through the lens of my new camera.

This is the first night at the Resort. I was sitting by the pool, watching Tyler swim, and playing with my new camera. I'm no photo expert...but I kinda liked how this one turned out.

This one was a few moments later...I was playing with the different settings on the camera. I'm completely a novice at this, but this is how we learn...right??

This one was taken near the film "Night of the Iguana" was filmed. On the tour, they stopped us at all these little places to spend our money. I mostly walked around and looked at the beauty that surrounded me.

This is a picture of the oldest church in Puerto Vallarta. It started construction in the 40's and finished in the 80's. It's beautiful inside and out.
See what I mean???

This picture was taken of the same church, but a few days later, and from the water. It had rained the night before, and was still relatively early in the morning.

While we were out on the ship, during one of our excursions, we came across a large school of dolphins, who had fun riding in the waves we made when we made a circle with the boat. There was about 100 of them and they were beautiful!!

And what kind of Christmas in the center of Puerto Vallarta would it be without a Santa Claus??

Spending Christmas day in town with the locals was a wonderful experience. It was a beautiful night, they truly celebrated the holiday. Here is a picture of the landscape from the port, overlooking where we were staying.

I'm still learning how to transfer the photos, but I wanted to share some of the beauty we saw. I'll post the "funny" pictures another day.

Back Safe & Sound

Hola!! Como Estas?

Hemos vuelto de nuestro viaje del día de fiesta a México.

Oops...sorry...

Yep, we've just returned from our holiday trip to Mexico. We finally walked through our door at about 2am this morning. It was an ab-so-friggin-lute-ly awesome!!!

The weather was beautiful, the people were gracious, the food was plentiful, and the tequila flowed freely. I could not have asked for a better holiday. It was good for us to go, and so fun to watch Ty try to speak their language and learn about their culture. We spent Christmas in down town Puerto Vallarta, where the locals were out and celebrating and having a glorious time. It wasn't about presents that evening, but about being with family and enjoying the true meaning of the holiday.

I did get to take some glorious pictures with my new camera. I can't wait to share some with you, but I did work today, and am feeling pretty tired. I promise to get some on the computer in the next few days. I learned all about taking the pics...now I have to figure out how to get them here. ;)

In the meantime, for those of you concerned about my shooting through the air and repelling down a waterfall, we did it ALL!! Everyone had so much fun and made it look so easy!! Me? Not so much. I didn't get hurt mind you, but I can PROUDLY say I did it and I'm DONE!!

Here's my little guy...he was so awesome!!

I got to the top of the first zip line, after riding a mule up the side of the mountain, and started to panic. It was HIGH and LONG. Breathe Grandy!! Then they asked for volunteers to go first and my son jumped up. Whaoaha??? I didn't say a word as I started to cry quietly, watching him get hooked up. I couldn't speak...why would I try and ruin it for him? At the same time I knew that he was only doing it to show me I didn't have to be so scared.

Well, for his sake...I did it. I was scared crazy stupid, but I did it. Here's a pic to prove it. Somehow I didn't look as comfortable up there as everyone else did...but I did it. Who cares...I can be comfy on my couch.


Will I do it again?? Probably not...but I can definitely say, "Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt". We rode about 10 zip lines that day, but I didn't bother with 10 t-shirts.

I'll post more about the "repelling down a waterfall" another day.

p.s. Did anyone notice how hot I look in a harness? No??? Maybe it's just me.

I will need a DRINK for this one!!!

Did I mention my fear of heights? Perhaps some of you may remember I had previously mentioned my fear of going downhill on my ATV?


Why must my friends and family insist on testing my bravery??


As you read this, today we are to participate in our "Ultimate Outdoor Adventure". For two months now I have been mentally preparing myself for this:

Then I get an email that confirms the trip, and reminds me to wear the appropriate shoes for this:

What???? Are these people friggin nuts??? WHY???? They ARE trying to kill me...aren't they?? What's that saying...with friends like these...???

***Please note that this post is supposed to be posted on 12/22/07. If it posts at any other time, then I really screwed up somewhere and I apologize. But please pray I make it back alive...I know I am!!***

What is your Christmas most like??

I love these guys anyway...

Your Christmas is Most Like: The Muppet Christmas Carol

You tend to reflect on Christmas past, present, and future... And you also do a little singing.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

***Please be advised that Grandy intends for this post to show on 12/20/07. If it shows at any other time, then please be patient with her as she truly is a technological idiot and screwed something up in the advance post thing.***

How do I work this??

I don't think I ever explained that the reason I don't post many pics on this site is because I don't have an actual camera. Any pics I've posted I've confiscated off the internet, or taken with my cell phone. The cell phone does pretty well, I think.

Well...as you all are asking me for glorious pics of our holiday...I have to share with you my Christmas present. It's actually for both of us though, although Hubby will swear he's still "entitled" to a gift he's the one that REALLY wanted this.

I'm just the kind of person that likes to "aim and shoot" but he is all into the lenses and stuff. Now I'll get to take some glorious pics of our trip to Mexico...as soon as I learn how to work it. Guess there will be time to read the owner's manual on the plane.

I'm not going to want to come home...you do realize that, right??

All you people that post beautiful pics...watch out!! I'm not promising beauty...but always a story behind each one. :)

My Christmas Adventures

Holy Canoli Batman!! Is it the end of the day already? End of the weekend? I can't believe it, only a few more days before we leave for our holiday adventure. My DSL was down the other day, and I've spent all weekend getting last minute things done for our trip.

I know I've hinted at this wonderful trip we're taking. I suppose it's time to share...are you ready?? Feast your eyes on where the Grandy family is spending Christmas!!

Palm Trees...Pools...Beaches...Beautiful Weather...Santa's sending us to Vallarta Palace in Nuevo Vallarta (just outside of Puerto Vallarta).

Not jealous enough?? Take a look at this pic!

Last year for Christmas we hosted all families and had almost 20 people in our home. At the end of the night we jokingly asked ourselves if there was a place we could go this year and just get away (not really recognizing we could). Then our dear friends told us where they were going, round about September. I didn't think the Hubby would want to go because he always says he won't go where he can't drink the water...always trying to get my goat that guy.

Well...low and behold, back in October he agreed we could go. We all got our passports and had the trip paid for by November. We leave WEDNESDAY!!! We're going to be in Mexico from 12/19 thru 12/26/07. I can't wait!!!!!

Ty is counting the hours, our friends are all set (they also have just one son close to Ty's age) and we are off to our all inclusive resort. Talk about working on that work/life balance thing!!

That being said, I am going to try and pre-write some posts, so you won't have to go SO LONG without me. I know it sounds weird, but I'm certain you all know I'll be coming back with PLENTY of blog stories too. :)

Now, I just have to make sure my son remembers how to say, "Donde esta el bano?" and we'll be alright. When in doubt...you always have to know where the potty is.

Holiday Sweaters

I was all primed to post about a lovely time I had yesterday, seated at a table near 7 elderly women, all wearing holiday sweaters, and exchanging gifts.

It just made me think...I hope I get to grow old. I don't know if I necessarily want to wear a holiday sweater, but I want to be able to talk to my girlfriends about the way things used to be and the good old days, and mean it. These women were so sweet and appreciative of their little handmade gifts from eachother. It really made me feel good, and as I left, I went to their table and wished them all a Merry Christmas. I explained that although I was seated by myself, I thoroughly enjoyed their gift exchange vicariously through them.

All festive with the holiday spirit, I ventured into Blogthings and thought it would be fun to post another quiz. Of course, being my sarcastic self, I thought I would see what Crappy gift I would be (still reeling from Mrs. G's post about her white elephant gift) and look what crappy gift I am...can you believe it?? Oh well...

You Are a Christmas Sweater!

Over the top, colorful, and totally flashy. You're not afraid to be a little tacky.

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?