Sunday, December 13, 2009

Dear Santa,

Grandy has NOT been a very good girl this year. She knows this. In fact, she knows that there may very well be a special place in hell gift waiting for her on Christmas morning.

Grandy does have a small problem, however. Despite all the chiming bells, decorations, and massive ass crowds holiday shoppers, Grandy has had some difficulty mustering up the Christmas spirit.

She has tried watching all sorts of holiday movies that might help, but she can't make it past the 33rd commercial break in the first 20 minutes. She attended a Christmas parade last weekend, and proceeded to provide sarcastic commentary with some friends. (Ok Santa, that was pretty fun, but probably not the fun you had in mind.)

There's no tree. No decorations. No baking. It's two weeks before Christmas, and Grandy is feeling ever-so-ebinezer-ish. In fact, there are only a couple differences between Scrooge and Grandy at the moment. Scrooge has tons of money, and no friends. Grandy has tons of friends, and no money.

WAIT!! That's IT!!!

Grandy gets it now!! Christmas is about appreciating those you haven't killed yet love. It's about gathering with family and requiring more therapy reliving old memories. What was I thinking?

Ok Santa, tomorrow Grandy will try to get her tree up. She will pull some frozen cookie dough out of the freezer, and bake it (these domestic things take time). Since Scrooge finally found the meaning of Christmas, I suppose Grandy can too.

Thanks Santa!!



p.s. If it's not too much trouble, Grandy would really appreciate you overlooking some of her stupidity antics this past year. She knows you won't buy the temporary insanity bit for too much longer.


Wiggy said...

ha ha i know how you feel Grandy. My tree has stayed in the attic for the last 3 years since my ex left me. Just never seem to get into the spirit. Altho I am mustering a little festiveness having watched Elf twice in a week :lol: Will Ferrell is awesome in that

Staci said...

Sounds like my kind of Christmas. I'm actually dreading it this year. There won't be any post card/Hallmark holiday at my family's house. We'll be lucky if we don't end up reenacting the Texas Chainsaw Massacre before the first bite of turkey and dressing. Is it a bad omen if the only tree at my grandmother's house has already died? Probably. At least mine is still going strong. If I was smart, I'd just stay home and "celebrate" with the dogs. However, I feel obligated to suffer through the holiday with my sister and grandmother. Fun times...

Maybe you and I should throw a virtual Thank God Christmas is Over party post-Christmas.

Anonymous said...


Joyce-Anne said...

Hang in there! Christmas will be over before you know it. Plus, if it helps, I know your son is going to totally freak when he open at least one of his gifts. :)