Black Friday Craziness

There are so many things about the craziness of "Black Friday" tradition that Grandy just doesn't understand.


EXHIBIT A:


How many Buzz Lightyear Dolls do you need?



EXHIBIT B:

What could the person in the BACK of this line possibly be hoping for??



EXHIBIT C:


This many people in any one place makes me anxious just to watch. I could never be there for SHOPPING!!

This year I heard people set up tents on WEDNESDAY and camped out. Seems to me they're missing out on the holiday spirit, but maybe there's something to this. They can tailgate with the other crazy people, and get to avoid the family fighting awkwardness.

At any rate, you won't find Grandy participating in any of this craziness. She brings enough craziness to the party by herself.

NABLOPO-MOFO

Grandy would like to apologize to all her NABLOPOMO folks for not fulfilling her monthly obligation to posting every day.

The writing joints are less rusty than they were two weeks ago when this mission began, but time got away from Grandy this past week.

Here's my promise...Not every day...but this blog will no longer go as long as it had gone without a post (I think it was about a month with the longest we had gone without a post).

SORRY!!

WTF Wednesday - Stages of Life

Grandy has been told that life can be summarized in 4 bottles:

DANG IT!! We're already on Stage 3!!!

Benefits of B12

There many benefits to getting your daily B12 vitamin.

Grandy is pretty deficient in B12, so she supplements with an injection. The rule of thumb (or the prescription) says that Grandy should take a GINORMOUS needle amount every two weeks, via a garden hose for dispensing.

Grandy loves it when she can get the shots injected on a regular basis (aka as prescribed) but because of the size of the needle, she will not let FUBBY give her the shot. It scared her when over a year ago the pharmacist cringed when I mentioned the possibility of letting Fubby give me my injections.

Her: How were you going to administer the shot?
Me: I take daily shots of insulin, I should be able to do this.
Her: Oooohhh...no. Not with THIS needle. This needle is your every day variety "garden hose".
Me: Huh?
Her: My husband tried to give me a shot with this sized needle before, and he thought for sure he was playing darts.
Me: Nevermind.

So, needless to say, Grandy finds others (in the nursing field) to administer the shot. Scheduling said shot administration was a horse of a different color. When I did see my girlfriends or my sister, I never had it with me. It got to a point where the shots were coming every 2 months, as opposed to every 2 weeks. My energy level was really suffering.

Grandy is trying to get better at this, and trusting more people to give me the shot (still no Fubby) while making it a point to get the shot. I think there's a noticeable difference in my energy level, considering I'm not taking the dose I need to get me OUT of the negative category.

One bad thing about the B12, and having friends administer it for you?

My friend came over at about 8:00 to give me my shot. It's now 2:00 AM, and Grandy is already writing a post for the day, because I CAN'T SLEEP!!

YAY ENERGY!!

Please Push Grandy's Button

Crunch time is on.

Grandy is off of work next week, but not before a week of LONG days, and LONG nights. Deadlines, meetings and reports all to be wrapped up by Friday, along with evening events I cannot escape.

All Grandy is really asking for, truly, is that she have no computer system issues. She is bowing to the IT Gods who can make this happen. HOWEVER...such is not the case this morning.

Grandy is going to need a little extra assistance in making it through this week (alive and out of prison). So, for once she is asking you to...PUSH THIS BUTTON!!

Go ahead...you know you want to. Push my RELAX button, and see if it helps me at all.

Don't you wish we had one of these on our keyboards for real? We could put it over in the 10-key section. Right next to the "RESTRAINT" button, the "WAKE UP" button, and the ever popular "FANTASIZE ABOUT BLOWING THINGS UP" button.

The moment when Grandy cries - #52,673,102

So you have probably guessed that Grandy tends to wear her heart on her sleeve. There aren't many surprises from Grandy, when you want to know how she's feeling. My demeanor, or my words, will let you know how I'm feeling right away.

There are moments when Grandy wants to cry. It may not be because she's sad, necessarily. It may simply be when she's feeling overwhelmed, over-joyed, or just plain OVER-over. Regardless of how I'm feeling, sometimes these real moments just hit me.

Yesterday, my son and I are driving back from the bank. Grandy reminds him that now that football is over, he is REALLY going to have to focus on his grades. Really. REALLY-Really. (Wonder if he got the point).

Then the following conversation happened:

Him: Oh, by the way, the Principal came in to Biology on Friday and said she just hired a permanent substitute teacher for the class.
Me: Why?
Him: I guess that her husband has been fighting cancer for a while, and it's not looking good. Meaning...He's Dying.
Me: THAT'S HORRIBLE!!!
::Grandy's chest begins to feel heavy::
Him: Yeah. She teaches two biology classes and an anatomy class. All the students got together and decided we would collect money to send him flowers and a card.
::Totally choked up now::
Me: ::fighting back tears:: Do you need money then?
Him: No, I gave them all the money I had.
Me: ::full on crying now::

Him: Oh yeah...but can I have some lunch money?
Me: ::still crying...but nod my head::
Him: Are you alright?
Me: MmmHmmm...::tears gushing down face::
Him: Should I have NOT told you?
Me: No! Why would you ask that?
Him: I just know that it's kinda something that hits so close to home for you.

DONE!! Crying...close to sobbing...Grandy is a mush pot.

This teacher is brilliant. She is young, vivacious, and married with two young children. The thought of her losing her husband at such a young age, and facing things on her own with the kids, saddened me.

I have a dear friend who is a teacher, brilliant, young, vivacious and married with two young children. She is battling a very aggressive form of breast cancer. This must have been what made me react the way I did. I couldn't figure out why I cried so much.

I tell another girlfriend about the episode, and she pretty much summed it up as any man would have, "Are you getting ready for your period?"

PERPETUALLY!! When emotion cannot be explained by any other means...blame the monthly visitor. All better now.

Small Town News

Grandy doesn't get a chance to read her little local paper very often. It comes in the mail every couple weeks and let's face it, Grandy isn't exactly up to speed on checking her mail and what collects in it.

As I was catching up on a couple issues today, I was reminded of the fact that although the paper only has 20 pages to it, there are at least 4 pages combined of ads, 4 pages of news (including focus spots on the local high school sports programs), it's always a great place to find a calendar of events, and then there are TONS of editorials.

Between letters to the editor, "columnist corners", and whatever else strikes these folks, it is pretty comical. You've got to love an angle from an old Legion Commander, and his thoughts on how the young folks should be doing things. Then there's the "other thoughts from the hill", where we have an old hippie promoting the legalizing of pot. Oh yeah, I live in a cool place.

What really struck me was this little outburst. It's not in the "Letters to the Editor" section, not in the Editorials, nor is it mixed in among all these "columnist" rantings. It was simply titled, Special Traffic Notice!, and it read:

Well, While traveling 60 mph on Foresthill Road the other day, a lady insanely ran out of passing lane trying to zoom around me. She had to go into the oncoming traffic lane to make it and then gave me the one finger wave for being in her way. Is this the Foresthill behavior we all want to display to the world? It is my observation that it is ALWAYS a well dressed woman attempting murder to save 3 minutes on the drive to the freeway. Husbands...could you please bring this subject up in your house before we all have to attend some woman's funeral?

Ok, again folks...THE SPEED LIMIT ON FORESTHILL ROAD IS 55 MPH!!
...
IS THAT CLEAR ENOUGH FOR YOU?

While the person that passed him is not THIS well dressed female, I find it amusing that he not only recognizes he was going 60 MPH in the section where the passing lane exists, thus not allowing her the opportunity to pass. He would also probably be the same individual that drives 40 mph where the speed limit is 55, and then guns it when we do have the opportunity to pass, so we cannot.

The irony that he thinks he is making a plea for our "safety" by asking our husbands to have a little chat with us is hysterical.

Just goes to show ya folks, we small town people can have our idiots in the media as well.

Getting Older...*sigh*

Grandy got this lovely image in an email the other day. The words attached to the email said...


A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE ABOUT GROWING OLDER:

SHIT, I forgot what it was...

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYBODY!!!!

Committee Debacle #1

Grandy sits on several committees for large organizations, in her day job. She also participates on a personal level with many volunteer organizations too.

Between the corporate committees and the volunteer committees, which do you think Grandy struggles with the most? Yep...You guessed it...VOLUNTEER.

When you live in a small community, you tend to see the same parent involvement from one organization to the other. PTA, Scouts, 4H, you name it, it's all the same recycled parents. We try to do our part to make the most for our kids, and that is truly what it is for...the kids.

With some professional committees (still not necessarily "work" oriented) where you have people in the same industry that come together on a volunteer basis, to coordinate an event for other professionals. Common theme...throw the best conference ever, get people in the door, and let it shine. Getting all of these "professionals" on the same page, so see that they all have the same objective, is the biggest struggle.

Grandy is going to share a committee experience that was a pain in the ass challenging recently. Perhaps it might give you some perspective about the frustration some of us "outsiders with a sense of humor" are up against.

Committee #1: ALL MOMS, with a token spouse thrown in there but who never says a word. This has been my third meeting, and everybody has great things to contribute. Grandy looks around the room and realizes she has a new found respect for each of the board members, and the roles they've taken on, because there is just not enough hours in the day for Grandy to take on another leadership position. They all have a job to do, and they appear to do it well. My task, by being there, is to see where I can help take some of the pressure off them, and let them know there are those of us out there that want to SUPPORT them. Imagine my surprise when the following dialogue took place:

Committee: blah blah blah...snack bar...blah blah...can't make a decision until so and so is here...blah blah blah...harumph harumph...blah blah.
Me: Can we not table this discussion, you (committee chair) find out the information you need, email the update to the committee and get their general concensus for a vote? It seems to me that you need some sort of decision before our next meeting.
Chair: Well we tried email in the past, but there were too many decisions being made that not everybody knew about.
Me: I understand how that could be a problem, but it seems to me that perhaps you could just utilize it for just this one issue?
Chair: I see your point...but you wouldn't get to vote.
Me: I didn't ask to vote, I was just trying to keep the meeting going.
Chair: You don't get to vote.
Me: ::BLINK...SMILE...CLINCHING TEETH...BLINK::
Chair: You're not a board member, so you don't get to vote. We will have openings on the board next year. And you...(sizing me up and down) seem like you have some good thoughts. Yeah, you seem like a real "go getter". You could be on the board next year and get to vote then. But...THANKS FOR COMING!!

Grandy smiled, looked at girlfriend sitting next to her who was smiling with a WTF look on her face, and watched the room commence back in to the same dialogue that started the conversation. Blah blah blah...snack bar...blah blah.

After about 3 minutes, Grandy turned back to girlfriend knowing our boys were now done with football practice and waiting in the car, and said "Want me to get us out of here?"

She smiles big, and nods.

Me: We're outta here. I need to get my son home, and he's sitting in the car waiting for us. Good luck with your snack bar, your email, and your vote. See ya!! ::SMILING::

As we walk out the door, Grandy turns to see the expressions on some other friends faces. One reaction looked like, "PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU", one was laughing, and the "CHAIR" was shocked.

What I hadn't realized at the time was that my friend, who had driven there with me and was sitting next to me, was denied a copy of the minutes from the last meeting and the agenda by the same "Chair" because she too was not a "board member". She also received the "THANKS FOR COMING" comment.

Really people...we were the only ones there willing to help among all the parents of the Freshman class. Why do you want to alienate them?

For the rest of the week, Grandy received 2 emails, 3 phone calls, and 2 stops in town at the market from individuals in that meeting (none of which were the "CHAIR") sayin, SO SORRY about the meeting, and PLEASE COME BACK.

To which Grandy smiled and responded with, "I'll be back...next year".

Stay tuned for next week's issue of the COMMITTEE DEBACLE.

WTF Wednesday - "Dr Love - Little KISS"

It cannot be just Grandy that finds this commercial a little...umm...ODD!!

Grandy Needs...

In an effort to make sure Grandy doesn't run out of ideas to blog about, as she puts some WD-40 on the rusty writing joints, she knows she will need to utilize a couple memes to keep things fresh. Considering some of these readers are new to Grandy, it's a good learning opportunity...even for Grandy.

Staci, over at Just Bloggled, ran this meme the other day. The rule is you run a google search on "your name + needs". She had some interesting hits with her first name, they were pretty good. The thought of using my ever-popular first name for such a search was a bit overwhelming, so I of course decided to do a search of "Grandy + needs".

Here goes nothing...top 10 things Grandy Needs (in David Letterman format):

10) Grandy needs SPHERICAL BRANDING: Really? Grandy is a little afraid of what that is, and did not branch further into clarification of that.
9) Grandy needs to sit: Well...DUH!!
8) Grandy needs a day off: Several...MANY
7) Grandy needs a real job: THIS Grandy understands that need...
6) Grandy needs to be on the big stage, in the big apple: A lifetime ago, that was my big dream.
5) Grandy needs a good dose of prozac: Now that must have been written specifically for THIS Grandy, who knows me in real life.
4) Grandy needs to be GRANDER: I'm TRYING people!!
3) Grandy needs a prophylactic: Well that's a bit personal...don't you think??
2) Grandy needs ALL THE HELP SHE CAN GET: Absolutely!!!
1) Grandy needs to take one for the team: Been there...done that...tell the team to STEP UP!!

So...this is what GOOGLE thinks that Grandy needs, huh?

VERY INTERESTING...

So folks, tell me what YOU need. :)

Yeah...THIS is how it is!

Really? Is THIS what men thought??

Give me whatever vitamins SHE is taking!!!

So...If the harder your wife works, the CUTER she looks is the key, then GRANDY IS ADORABLE!!!

Too Much Time...No Money Makeovers

Grandy learned a while back that there are websites out there where you can have a virtual makeover done for free. A friend and I had played with one site, while she was considering another hair style.

Tonight, Grandy had a little time on her hands and was looking like a drowned rat from the rain, so it was time to play with the makeover tool over at Cosmopolitan and see what they can do with the virtual celebrity makeovers.

Here is the picture Grandy started with:


Then she started playing.

The site allows you to pic a celebrity photo, and it digitally inserts your face into the look. I tried as best I could with the shading of the pics, but the lighting is only as good as it can be.



Can you guess whose look Grandy ripped off borrowed? Come on...Take a guess!

Here's the other look pilfered from this fun site:



On a great rainy afternoon, Grandy really could have been doing more laundry, housecleaning, working in general. But instead, while the boys watched TV all afternoon, Grandy played with herself...sorta. She played with her looks anyway.

Tell me if you can guess who the celebrities are. I bet you can't!! Not BOTH anyway.

Blogging Community

In looking at my blog track record, I see that today's post surpasses the posts I've put up in the last 2 months. Quickly gaining on the last 3 months.

As I spend some time revisiting some blogs I frequented from the beginning, I remember that this blogging thing is far more than just a hobby to express my thoughts, but it was a sense of community that I had established with other people all over the world.

We check in on each other, and witness life events with them. Good and bad...this blogging thing is a "community". Our kids grow older, our parents get sick, our lives are changed. We share this with OUR community.

Since blogging, I watched as one fine woman prepared for her wedding, and had her first child. I checked in on her today and her boy is getting big, and she is expecting child #2 soon.

Another blogger had been creating a diary of her son's first year. She had funny anecdotes about how she and her husband worked through the first year. I peaked in on her today, only to learn that in year number three, she and her husband are splitting. It breaks your heart.

As someone who connects with people on all levels, I'm reminded that the main reason I had stepped so far away from this blog, was because I was stepping back from opening up. No reason to do so, as I see that all my old community has not done the same.

So far, I'm grateful for NABLOPOMO, in that it's bringing me back "to the family", so to speak.

Thank you all, for still being around in one way or another. I'm making the rounds to say my hellos. :)

Guy Stuff

Apparently there is an unspoken code among the male population. There are things about the "guy" act that perplex me. My husband and my son...GOD LOVE THEM...they are one and the same.

Watching my son with his friends...they are the SAME WAY.

Junk ball? REALLY? Where is the fun in throwing a ball at another "guy's" junk FUN?

We women don't walk by each other, punch each other in the boobies, and say RIGHT ON!! We don't even think of such a thing. NOR do we think about hitting men in the balls (unless they really deserve it for something of course).

Why is it okay for "guys" to walk by each other and PUNCH EACH OTHER in the junk?

I will never understand why this is alright, or acceptable.

Don't EVEN get me started on the "MAN UP" code that tells a kid to ignore what a doctor says, in order to not be eliminated from the playoff game.

This conversation ACTUALLY took place tonight:

Fubby #2 (very close friend of mine, and this is his actual nickname): What the hell happened?
Ty: Hurt my shoulder.
#2: HOW? Were you goofing off in class?
Ty: Not exactly, but was playing a game in class.
#2: Why are you wearing the sling? What are you, a panzy?
Ty: My MOM made me wear it.
FUBBY: Why the hell did you listen to your mom? MAN UP KID!!

None of the "guys" knew I was standing right behind them.

I had to walk away. Fubby will hear about this later...but alas...I fought the MOM urge to kick the two FUBBYS in the junk myself.

How long will THIS last?

Can you tell what this is a picture of?
You'll have to ignore the poor lighting.

Ignore the screwdriver on the table.
This post isn't about that.

Look at HOW MANY JACKETS are on this chair.
Grandy has given up and declared to be on strike in the "chase after you to hang up your jacket" category.

What does this mean?
It means we play THE
GUESS HOW MANY JACKETS WILL END UP ON THIS CHAIR GAME!!

Anybody with the closest number in the pool wins a prize.
You get to kill my Fubby FOR me!

WTF Wednesday - NABLOPOMO

In the post script of Monday's post, Grandy mentioned she was on crack.

Wait...WRONG POST!!

No wait, I remember now.

You can probably tell that Grandy has been sucking slacking a bit in her frequency of blog posts. Writing has usually been a healthy way for Grandy to release her tension, frustration, silliness, and whatever other mood she's feeling. For about the last year, I have struggled with the expression. This blog is now 3 YEARS OLD, and I didn't even memorialize the blog-versary.

Well, soon after this blog began, I joined my first month of NaBloPoMo (which stands for National Blog Posting Month). You must post every day for the month of November. I think somewhere there's prizes, but I never worry about that (nor do I care). What that first round did for me was encourage me to just get out there and write. I'm excited to see what I come up with, but most excited to have something positive to focus on!!

So readers...are you ready?????????

GRANDY IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!

I've been CLONED...Kinda

Have you ever Googled your name? You should try it. Be sure you put a " and then another " outside your name, to eliminate the gazillion hits that have either your first or last name somewhere in the context. Imagine how many hits come up with the word "Mary" in them.

Good news for THIS Grandy is that there are only 2,140 hits when I Google my name. Most of them are NOT me. I have over 450 friends on Facebook, and quite the growing network on LinkedIn, but that doesn't mean that I want to find a ton of hits with my name associated with it out there in the universe.

When I Googled "Functional Shmunctional", I found about 3700 hits. Several of them related to some blog posts here, a couple were just straight this site. I liked the multiple hits that related to a fireplace. Really, what does "Functional Shmunctional" say about a fireplace anyway? That it "kinda works"?

What was interesting, was in the midst of those searches was another blog called Functional Shmunctional. ::blink blink:: HUH?

I went to the blog, and found that it appears to have been a student project of some sort. Even better...it was based on TECHNOLOGY. Oh WOW!! Somehow this blog, whose author struggles most days with all things technologically inclined, morphs my title with my nemesis...technology.

That. Is. CLASSIC!!!

I've gone over and left a little hello for my fellow Functionally Challenged blogger. But I must admit here...I've read several of the posts, and have NO IDEA what they are talking about. Maybe we should keep quiet about my trial second blog, "The Girly Anti-Geek". We don't want to scare them off completely, now do we?

So tell me...what is the best thing you find when you Google your name or your blog??

Another NaBloPoMo

You want to see something cute??



Yep!! That's my boy at HOMECOMING!! He took a very sweet girl, went to dinner with a group of friends, and had a great time. I hear a rumor he even DANCED!!

GOOD TIMES!!

p.s. Grandy has decided there has not been enough posts on here lately. To jump start her stupidity motivation, she has decided to participate in another round of NaBloPoMo. Let's do this!!! I make no promises for 30 days of "quality" content...but we always have FUN!!