Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Worst Blind Date Ever

Grandy was looking around the web, trying to get caught up with some blog reading when she found crazy working mom having a contest. To enter, all you had to do was talk about a memorable road trip experience.

Apparently this woke something in my inner conscience, because I started to leave the longest comment ever. When I realized it, I thought I should just direct her back here and share my woe with all of you. I'm going to apologize for the long post ahead of time, but I think you'll see...if you stick's worth the read.

I used to work for a traveling children's theatre. We traveled in teams of 2 and went from town to town casting 60 children. It was either the best experience of your life (certainly rewarding) or the longest bad blind date in history.

My first tour partner was awesome. We got along great! He made me laugh and we had fun. That relationship ended when his fiance started getting jealous about how well we got along. Hey, can I help it if Grandy rocks? I don't know what her problem was, I had told him numerous times that I was not there to stroke his ego so he needed to get over himself. There was nothing going on...but what can ya do?

In walked the replacement.

He smoked constantly, drank even more, and couldn't carry a tune in a 5-gallon drum. Talk about your first pick to play in Jack in the Beanstalk? WHATEVER!

One day, we were leaving Upper Michigan to our next destination in New York. I always drove the first leg of the drive because he inevitably closed the bar down the night before. This day, however, he decided he would try to prove himself and drive the first leg (insert caveman grunt and scratch here).

We hit the road by 10:00 (he was over an hour late picking me up) and by 12:15, he had fallen asleep at the wheel, with the cruise control set at 65 mph. We drove off a 40 foot embankment, into a wooded area. We came to a "rest" after bouncing off a very large tree.


I wonder if we can still get to New York? I've never been there, and was really looking forward to going. Get it together Grandy!

Let's assess the situation...
Truck is sideways... on my side.
Driver is on top of me bleeding and unconscious.
I have no idea where we are, how far off the road we are, and if anyone will know how to find us.


I start to push the driver up and out through his window (which is strangely now over my head and he is no petite flower, let me tell you) to get him off me. As I push him far enough to his knees he comes to. "Get off me" he mutters.

"What? Get the *#LL OFF ME FU**#ORIUWER&D*(&&***$$ RJKWERIU!!!" (Grandy swears worse than a trucker when in extreme pain...who knew?)

Just then, fate shined on me as someone had come to the truck. Turns out that up the road there was a small gas station/tow truck company. It was the only building on this road for MILES and the driver happened to be getting out of his truck and see us go into the oncoming lane and off the road.

"Can you stand?" he asked me.
Stand? Why wouldn't I? I am now sitting in the glass, on the ground, but still in the truck. I had twisted my body to position it so I could push fat a$$ out the window.

Stand Grandy.
Get the Hell UP!!

Let's re-assess...leg hurts...blood not mine I don't think...bump on head not bad...leg really hurts. Get up.

Can't Stand? WHOAHUWHA???

Gear shifter in truck is bent at 90 degree angle. I'm now focusing on inside of the is torn up. I look at the seat that I had been belted into and see that it is also buckled at a 45 degree angle. The set, costumes and sound equipment, typically kept in the back of the truck, had crashed forward causing the seat to buckle.

Crazy Grandy thought... I wonder if we can still get to New York?

Alas, to this day Grandy has not yet been to New York. I had ended that worst blind date ever, that day. We were transported to two hospitals because the local one didn't have the facilities to care for me.

The driver? He had a busted lip, injured his back, and got a concussion.

Grandy? Two compression fractures in her spine, a temporary shutdown of several internal organs, a "grossly disfigured" knee, a broken ankle, and more fun than should be allowed with your clothes on.

I never got to go back to that Children's Theatre after that. I never heard from him again either. It was a strange and difficult time to be traveling the country side doing what you love, and getting paid for it, one day...and having to rely on your parents to bathe you and feed you after that.

The date was November 7, 1994... a short 13 months before my son was born. You can see that Grandy was a fast healer, and obviously making some choices where she didn't consider the consequences. Also, you apparently don't need both legs to function to make a baby.

Who knew?

Things happen in your life that you can't control, isn't fair, sucks beyond all recognition. All we can hope for is that we learn from it and not dwell on it, but rather make it a part of who we are. No telling where I would be had I insisted on driving the first leg that day.

I'll tell you one thing, I wouldn't have Ty... or hubby... or some of my wonderful friends. Heck, I quite possibly wouldn't even have this blog. Aren't you lucky I do??

So...who's up for going to New York with Grandy??


Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Wow. I hope they paid you Workers' Comp.

Mike Golch said...

Grandy, I do not think that I have ever been in this boat.
I did have a life threating problem but it did not have any thing to do with a blind date.
I hoe that you are haveing a great day!
I got started blogging on a whim.
that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Hugs and blessings.

treesflowersbirds said...

Wow. You have led a very very interesting life I must say! And you write about it very well.

krissy said...

You are such a interesting gal. You always amaze me.

Joyce-Anne said...

I love reading your blog. You lead such an interesting life. Drop by if you ever find yourself in NY.

Mrs. F said...

I wanna go, I wanna go!

Great story!

But seriously, I wanna go to New York.

crazy working mom said...

Wow, thanks for the comment, entering the contest, the link love, AND the great story! :)

Stay Tuned for the winners...

Debbie said...

Pick me, Pick me! I love New York, I wanna go....

wrekehavoc said...

wow... that's one hallaciously scary experience!

and yet i would still go to NY. but you ought to drive. better yet, let's just take the train :-)

mysecondjournal said...

OK..first off the accident sounds horrific..OMG..2nd of all what an asswipe..please tell me the company had insurance.

I need details: What kind of truck? Traveling play? What did you do? This sounds like a blog post all on it's own.

NYCity kicks ASS!!

glam said...

Well, I probably shouldn't be, so please don't take offense, but I am roflmao! Seriously! :)

Great story, and you should write more of these......loved it!!


Suzanne said...

Me! I miss New York and am overdue for a revisit. At least I know that you like theatre-and would get to see a show or three! :)

Tina Coruth said...

Wow! What interesting, if not terrifying experiences you've had! I'd go to New York with you if I could - the one thing I am absolutely sure of is that it wouldn't be a dull trip! LOL

Travis said...

Yikes! You win.

I'm sorry that happened but glad you were able to recover.

onthecurb said...

Wow, Grandy! What an ordeal! Maybe I shouldn't, but I'm laughing about "you apparently don't need both legs to function to make a baby." No, dear, apparently, you don't.

Amazing how our lives change on a dime, eh? (if it makes you feel any better, i got pregnant with gav 2 days after his dad dumped both his and my meals on my head in an italian restaurant...chicken parmesan over pasta, salads with italian dressing, and 2 sweet know why? i was trying to break up with him. ahhhhh, good times) :-)

Hey, New York! I've been once for a day or two. I would love to go back with you.

Grandy said...

Jenn~ Yeah, but it wasn't much. It was based on Montana rules.

Mike~ You're silly. The guy wasn't an actual blind date. ;)

Trees~ Thanks!! I actually try to find the humor in most things.

Krissy~ And you me.

Joyce-Anne~ It's never boring, that's for sure. Will do FOR SURE!!

Mrs. F~ I'll meet you in Auburn and we'll catch 80 and go. ;)

Crazy~ Thanks for the inspiration for the post.

Debbie~ I'm quite certain we would have a blast!! You are so positive, it would counter balance my bad luck and we could still laugh about it all.

Grandy said...

wreke~ How long would the flight be? That would be quicker.

MP~ Yes...asswipe/Insurance... Work Comp.

Suzanne~ At LEAST! Is it possible to dedicate your trip to the shows? Kinda expensive, I know.

Glam~ No offense taken...Glad you enjoyed.

Tina~ Never a dull moment at all.

Travis~ What did I win?

Dee~ Am I reading this right? You got pregnant with him 2 days after this incident?? Really?

Jennifer H said...

Pick me, pick me! It's been ages since I've been to NY and can't wait to go back.

What a story. Wow.

onthecurb said...

Really. Yes, you are reading correctly. I love my Gav, but I have been (and continue to be) a total idiot at times. Keeps life umm interesting. Yeh, interesting. :-)

Grandy said...

Jennifer~ Alright, pick you up in Phoenix, right?

Dee~ Yet another reason why I love you. My life is interesting. ;)

otherdeb said...

Grandy, I can't get ya to NYC, but if you ever do get here, let me know. I'd love to show you around! (And, if you get here solo, I might even be able to provide crash space).