Temporary Coolness

As the mother of a middle schooler, I find myself faced with the quandary I'm not sure my parents thought about when I was in jr. high. Will I effect my child's "coolness"?

I think my parents, as most parents do, took great joy in doing things that they knew would intentionally embarrass us as children. I now have friends that I know still derive great pleasure in knowing it is "their turn" to humiliate their kids. I guess it's some sort of right of passage, so to speak.

I try to be very mindful of what could be misconstrued as "not cool". Not that my child has to have the best of everything, because let's face it, who can afford that? But middle school is TOUGH!! This school is 5th through 8th grade, and he's in 6th. I know it's important that he be allowed to make his own way, in order for him to grow. However, kids can be cruel (I know I would NOT want to live middle school, or jr. high, again) and my son doesn't need me contributing to any detriment in his character.

So, as I try to let my only child grow and find his way, I find myself torn between wanting to smother him with love, and give him all the space he needs. If he's to be determined "cool" or "uncool", it's not going to be because of something I did. Every parent wants their child to feel confident, whether they fit in or not.

At the same time, as the kids try to learn who they are, I know they can be hurtful and sassy in their comments and attitudes. Heck, it's amazing my eyes didn't stick in the back of my head as much as I rolled them as a teenager. My son's shield of rebellion, for the sake of rebellion, has yet to reveal it's true shade but maybe if we tackle it a little along the way, it won't be as painful as what some parents experience.

Well, let me tell you about a GLORIOUS moment that happened to me tonight. My son has a friend having a sleep over, and we're on our way to the house, Son, Me & Friend. We are all rocking out to Nickelback, together. We're singing the songs and dancing in the car together. Then...one of the coolest things ever said to me by my son happened:

(end of Rockstar song)
Me: Ok guys, this was just a very cool moment for me.
Ty: Why?
Me: Because all three of us were rocking out and singing the same song, TOGETHER! This is very cool. I know the words to one of YOUR songs. I think this just made me kinda cool for just this moment.
Ty: (after a short pause, looks at me and places his hand on mine) You're always kinda cool, Mom.

OMG!!! I almost stopped the car immediately!!!!!!!!!!! Ok...keeping my composure even as I type. It played in my mind over and over, and five minutes later (because it takes us 20 minutes to get to our house from anywhere) I turned to him and said, "I'm pretty sure this is going to be one of those moments I keep with me forever. That was about the sweetest thing you've said in a long time, and I thank you."

I was so excited, I couldn't wait to get home and immortalize the comment. I realize that, like a letter to my boy, he could some day read this and truly understand the power of his statement. Don't get my wrong...my son is no perfect angel. But I'm going to relish this moment, and now I have it in writing, to remind me not to kill him later when he forgets to clean the cat litter or hides dirty socks in his gear bag. I am SO LUCKY!!