Wednesday, October 17, 2007

My Twin is Better than YOURS

The fact that I only have one child causes me some anxiety sometimes. I never planned it this way. I always assumed after I got married, I'd see how the other half of the Mom's tried it. I was going to see what it was like to have a child WITH my husband. Alas (...sigh...) the health issues (previously mentioned in my other posts) determined that for me, and one is what I get.

When my son was in kindergarten, I was always so afraid for him. He rode the bus by himself, rode his bike in the court by himself (of course I watched, CPS back off), heck he would do so much by himself, or on his own, I am just amazed by his bravery. Knowing he would be an only child, although he seems perfectly fine with it, broke my heart and it took me quite a while to understand why. I never had to do anything by myself!

You see, I am 1/2 of a pretty well balanced twin team. My twin sister is truly my best friend. She is the Yin to my Yang. People always ask, "You mean there's another one just like you out there?" Heck no!! That would be absolutely crazy. You might say we are the same person, in a parallel universe (you Star Trek fans know what I mean).

I like to describe us as:
She's right handed and I am left.
She's got naturally straight hair, whereas mine is fresh from the electrical outlet.
She has brown eyes and I have blue.
She's good at Math & Science, where my interests have always been more Arts & History.
She's a bit more on the reserve side, where I'm kinda out there. (Not a professional diagnosis however).
She's tall and thin...Um...Okay, maybe we do have a lot in common (NOT)!!

We were pretty sure the Wonder Twins had NOTHING on us. Put us on a game show and we would bring home the prizes for sure!!

We're often asked, "What's it like being a twin?" To that, my answer is always "What's it like not being a twin?" I don't know how to be anything else. I have never had to do the whole alone thing. Obviously we had our own interests and did different things from time to time, but I have always had her to lean on. I have no idea where I would be, were it not for her, and I am constantly thankful for that.

There was a well known rule between my twin and I while growing up. If I asked permission from our folks, to do anything, the answer would always be "No!". However, if my sister asked the same darned question, it would inevitably be "Yes!" Oh how she would use that one over me. It was never known why at the time, but I used to do everything...short of physical harm (again, trying to keep CPS off my back) get her to ask for permission. We later asked Mom why this would be...and she simply said, "We always trusted her judgment more than yours". DUH!!! Of course you did!! I know I would!!

Now we are both grown up, with families of our own (who knew she'd end up with 3 boys) and yet we still talk every day! She lives a couple hours away, but we do try to see each other as often as we can. She has seen me through some very "interesting" (insert any appropriate adjective here) times. Maybe there was something to Mom's idea of judgment? Hmmmm.... Ever since that movie Beaches, my Mom has always she sees those girls as us. I guess to some cheesy/corny degree she is right. She IS "the wind beneath my wings".

My hope? That I'm not the hole in her hot air balloon.

One of the best things about my sister? And another thing we don't have really in common, but a good quality I strive to have?? Her ability to NOT take things personally. She doesn't care much about what other people think. She lets things roll off her back pretty well, and amazes me every day. I only wish I had that quality. I'm getting better as I get older, but she stays 3 steps ahead of me.

When I grow up, I want to be like my sister!!

Thanks Cara!! You ROCK!!!


dee/otc said...

Aww, that is such a sweet post.

I figured my son would be the only child and felt much the same way as you. Now, he probably wishes he were still the only one what with all the, "Gav, watch your sister. Gav, carry this for your sister. Gav, entertain your sister. Gav, stop looking at your sister; you're making her cry." I think they'll all turn out just fine.

I still think it's so neat you have a twin. I have a hard time sometimes wrapping my brain around the fact that I'm toting two beings around inside. I hope they have the bond you and your sister have.

Have a good one, Mary!

Grandy said...

Reading about you going through your twin pregnancy saga, prompted me to seriously contemplate our relationship. Thanks Dee!!

Anonymous said...

Mary, Mary, Mary, thanks for the post. Like you said earlier, I am more of the Math and Science person, so when you say things just roll off, maybe it is because half the time I just don't get what the big deal is. Ignorance is bliss. Take care, and keep writing.


Grandy said...


Thanks so much for finally stopping by. ;)

Keep it rollin off!!