Nope, Just FAT!

One of my fellow rookie blogging buddies, dee/otc, is pregnant with twins, and "awesome" (that one's for your post Dee). As she chronicles her pregnancy, and size (she slays me with her humor, check out What is the answer?) she prompted me to recall how horribly rude and thoughtless people can be about large and/or pregnant women.

"The Question" = WHEN ARE YOU DUE??

"The Question" that launches emotions on so many levels, but has come to evoke such a negative connotation that people are (as well they should be) afraid to ask.

Here are the stages when it may not be wise to ask:

• Newly Pregnant - No one can visibly see the baby but you are still in the happy stages of the pregnancy. You actually TELL people and when they ask "The Question" you are thrilled to tell them.
• Poor Thing Stage - Now you are at that stage. People who perhaps haven't seen you in a while, start to suspect something is up. You poor thing, you must be putting on weight. You feel you MUST somehow work your pregnancy into the discussion so people know you're not just getting fat. This is the stage where you hope they ask "The Question" so you can put their mind at ease (and you feel better).
• I can't Wait Stage - You've made it past the looking chubby stage and that seed officially grown into a full grown melon. The problem with this stage is that people usually alter "The Question" or add to it by asking, "It must be ANY time?" When I was 7 months pregnant, a woman actually said to me "Oh my, you look like you are due any day!!" Yeah lady, I wish. You start to get most uncomfortable, and READY for this lovely cue ball to make it's grand entrance in the world.
• Just Popped Stage (aka Poor Thing Part DUH) - This one is really not a good time to ask a woman "The Question". Their bellies tend to go back to where they were at the Poor Thing stage. If she happens to be in the store, heaven forbid without the baby, she won't have proof she's just been through it. Not to mention, her hormones are all over the map with a little one turning her nipples into grated cheese, her organs trying to smush back to where they were before, and let's not forget the lack of sleep thing.
• Nope, I'm just FAT Stage - This one is my personal favorite. Why, you ask?? All of these stages I have personally experienced, but I have lived with this one the longest. There is a woman that works at a specialty shop that I frequent once a month, or so, that asks me EVERY TIME I go in to the store. (Really, since I've been going there for a couple years now, you would think I would have a whole litter by now!) The first time I was absolutely horrified because there were men and their sons at the counter. I just told her "Not for a while". That was a mistake because then she wanted to know more, do you know whether you are having a boy or a girl? Have you picked out names? How does your son feel about it? OMG...SHUT UP LADY!! I couldn't get out of there fast enough. From then on, I explain it simply with, "Nope, I'm Just FAT". It actually works pretty well, given the horrified look I get in return. They're painfully embarrassed, and I feel better already. (does that make me evil?)

Want to know the funniest thing about "The Question"? Most men wouldn't be caught dead asking it. Women of the world should feel proud that we have shamed them enough to know better.

So, how is it that it is the WOMEN who are so ignorant to still think "The Question" is okay? Are we in some secret society that I forgot about? Do these same women also subscribe to the "It's OK to Rub a Stranger's Belly Club"? If that is the case, is there an Unsubscribe button for these clubs???

Please...PLEASE direct me to that link!!

I'm afraid it would be my luck, however, that once I found the link, and clicked it, it would take me to a site that reads:

Thank you for requesting to unsubscribe from this club. Unfortunately we are unable to honor your request due to the volume of other women who fail to exercise their "clue" clause. We appreciate your continued patience.

Figures!!!