Sunday, September 13, 2009

Crazy Clumsiness

Grandy had a college lighting professor who used to always explain that "black-out" was not black. It was the complete absence of light.

What Grandy wants to know is whether or not bad luck was the complete absence of luck?

Yesterday I alluded to my skills in the lame-ness category, and I'm sorry I didn't exactly specify. Yes, Grandy went down a friend's deck like a slinky. Nothing broken. Very bruised.

This is only one example of how Grandy is not an accident waiting to happen, but rather an accident looking for a PLACE to happen. I get frustrated sometimes at the depth of my crazy clumsiness. Some of my injuries have been out of my control (car accidents, flying objects, etc.) whereas other injuries are thrust upon me, and perhaps I should have avoided it.

Yesterday, when I walked out of my friend's house I noticed that her husband had pressure washed the deck. So...knowing my inclination for such gravitational pulls...I walked over to the top step and reached out for the railing, so I could be careful walking down. So much for that.

Grandy steps down the first step...her feet fly...then thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. THUMP.

Grandy knocked her ankle, her arms, her knee, and felt an immediate 3rd butt-cheek growing out of her hip. All I could think of was, "get to the car and cry there". Grandy drove home, embarrassed and crying (because now the adrenaline is wearing off and the swelling is commencing).

If my mom reads this, I'm fine. If my sisters read this, I'm okay. If my girlfriends read this, I'm hosed, and could take a collection for a massage certificate. Except...That 3rd butt cheek. It's not going to let ANYONE touch it any time soon.


songbird's crazy world said...

ouch, sorry that happened to you.

Christina said...

I hope you get those massage certificates ;-) Yipes! Sorry about the bumps and thumps.

Dens said...

UGH!!! kill me...LOL

Joyce-Anne said...

Ouch! You poor thing.

Grandy said...

Songbird~ No worries.

Christina~ None yet, but one must hope for something.

Dens~ HAHAHA!! You know me!!!

Joyce-Anne~ Yeah...poor and pathetic for sure.

The Mother said...

Technically, from a scientific point of view, luck and it's opposite are merely two poles of the possibility spectrum.

Just as being clumsy is one end of the gracefulness spectrum. But at least you and I are on the same end. Company is good, right?

Jen said...

I hope you get that massage and I'm sorry you took a spill. What the hell was he thinking washing his deck?

I'm not all that clumsy but have a habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Car accident and flying objects. I was driving down the freeway when a, get this, portable bathroom freed itself from the truck in front of me and went right at me.

Momisodes said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry. Definitely sounds like a rough day. I hope bumps and bruises heal soon.