Joining the Club

I am fortunate to work with a lovely woman (actually many lovely women), and even more fortunate to call this woman my friend.

Over the last several weeks I have witnessed her care from her mother, who until yesterday was in her final stages of cancer. My friend would be with her mother at night, and try to work from her mother's home during the day.

When "Mom's" condition worsened a few weeks ago, my immediate reaction was pretty much like this: "Okay...here's what you can expect. You are one of six grown children. Your family will all react differently. They will act crazy...and so will you." Let's face it folks, everyone copes with things differently, and just because you're related it doesn't mean they will react as you would.

At first, I worried that my initial advice was too harsh. Maybe her family wouldn't get crazy... but I did feel pretty confident that with 6 grown children, all married, there were way too many family dynamics coming into play. It's a good thing we joked about it, because as we entered into our third week of her adventure, the pressure was starting to mount and reactions were more extreme.

Last week I got a text message from her that read, Remind me again why I can't kill my family? To which I replied with a simple...Because the "Twinkie defense" only works if you actually EAT twinkies, which you don't. She sent me a couple messages after that... LOL...and significantly later...STILL LOL!

My blessing at work regrettably joined the "LOP" (Loss of Parent) club yesterday. Her lovely mother was only 71. How beautiful that she got to be with her, in her final moments. It's even more wonderful that she feels honored by it. Deep down...I know she will be okay, but right now it doesn't help the hurt.

It doesn't matter how old your parent is. The LOP club SUCKS!!!

The only comfort I could give her when she showed up at the office today (oh yes she did folks...don't worry...I kicked her out as soon as she would let me) was that I was here in this club to be there for her. I can't promise to take her pain away, but I can take her under my wing in the club, as some wonderful people did for me.

If you are a member of the LOP club...bless you. If you are not...bless you too. If this circle of life crap happens as I'm told it's supposed to, you will be. It sucks...but you're not alone. Come into the club only when you're ready...and one of the existing members (like me) will be there to embrace you.

WTF Wednesday - Swimming Up-Stream

Grandy can totally relate to this dog swimming up what she believes is up-stream.

We have a few minutes left in this WTF Wednesday. I would have been online sooner, but well... You know.

Grandy is definitely in some up-hill swim momentum at the moment. No real updates to provide, other than I will tell you I had a different understanding of the word "voluntary" before this week.

One definition appears to be - VOLUNTARY: Before we make it Mandatory.

Grandy definitely feels like this dog, swimming, while the world around her says, "stand up idiot!"

Would Grandy Survive?

Last week Grandy got a call from her mother-in-law.

Her: Are you stuck at home or stuck in Sac?

Me: Stuck?!?

Her: There's a big fire on the road, and your road is closed.

Me: There is?!?

Her: (laughing) Yes! You can't get home.

Me: Good thing I'm going to the show with a friend.

Her: You're welcome to stay at my place, if you need to.

Me: Oh no, thank you. I will be FINE!!

This is what was happening when she called me. Because Grandy was not in the area, she had no idea of the magnitude. This thing burned through about 600 acres in a very short time, but the fire crews (as they always are) were AWESOME!!

Grandy was able to come home, but it was late and the area seemed eerily like driving straight into the depths of purgatory. The sky was completely red, the flames were huge, there were little fires along the side of the road, where the firefighters had tried to light fires to keep it back. I've got to admit, I was a little nervous driving on the road at 10:30 at night, with flames nearby, with her convertible.

NEVER a dull moment in Grandy-land. NEVER!!!!

Grandy obviously made it home, completely in awe of how quickly things can happen. It got her thinking... If Grandy was in one of those mass distruction videos where the volcano erupts, a meteor is crashing into the earth, or we were invaded by aliens...would Grandy be one that survives?

Now, if she were on the Titanic, she wouldn't have survived. She would have been down below with the real people, partying it up and dancing on the tables. She'd be giving the bird to the folks that locked us down there.

But as far as surviving these sort of things... probably... but not without several injuries along the way. THAT is the story of my life.

*SURVIVAL WITH INJURIES*

WTF Wednesday - Feeling Hostile

Grandy thought that Tuesday was a better day than yesterday's Grumpy Grumperton from Grumpville day. REALLY.

However...this serenity prayer pretty much sums up the frustration and hostility she can't quite keep a handle on.

Can you read it? It is not intended to mock the actual serenity prayer (Grandy actually relies on that on a regular basis) but it does work for Grandy right now.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I cannot accept,
and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.

Where do I sign for this mantra??

Grumpy Grandy

You know those days when you should just get back in bed? Well today Grandy realized before she even got out of bed that it was going to be one of those days.

FOLLOW YOUR GUT GRANDY!!

Well in classic Grandy style, rather than sit here and mope about her day, she has decided to come online and bitch and moan share with you all some clues she's had throughout the day that maybe pointed out the fact that Grandy was in a foul mood.

Clue 1: When carpool friend asks you, as you're walking to her car, "What's the matter with you today Grumpy Grumperton from Grumpville?" - Was it THAT obvious?

Clue 2: Ladies...when you use the toilet seat protector in the restroom, Grandy is pretty certain that if you didn't want to plant your ass on the seat, we don't want to plant OURS on your seat protector. Here's a hint...flush it WITH your stuff. - Normally things like that don't bug Grandy.

Clue 3: Nasty Man calls weekly to yell at Grandy. TODAY...Grandy hung up on Nasty Man. - Oh yes she did!

Clue 4: One of the owners sends a special invitation to 9 people in the company for a special event on his boat. Grandy realizes she is the ONLY female in the group, and her first thought is not one of appreciation, but an image of Grandy entering into the lion's den.

Clue 5: Grandy is having a discussion with an attorney representing a crack whore plaintiff who has a history of tormenting my client and other tenants with threats of physical harm. While cutting the conversation painfully short, Grandy let it be known he would have his hands full with his client. - Normally Grandy tries to keep those things to herself, but when she got off the phone she couldn't help but feel bad for the guy.

Clue 6: Grandy had 6.3 people ask her if she was alright today. - Seriously? I tried to keep to myself and mind my own. Is that where I went wrong?

Yep! Grandy was in a bit of foul mood indeed.

Oh well. At least she can laugh about it...tomorrow.

WTF Wednesday - Drawing the Line

Hahaha!! This one cracks me up!!

If I didn't know better, I would say my son might have done this road work. I've watched him "vacuum" around large items that sit in the middle of the floor. You know, a piece of paper gets knocked off the coffee table, and rather than pick it up he vacuums around it.

So...I'm guessing the guy (oh yes I'm assuming it was a guy because NO WAY would a woman do this) who did this is either about 15 years old...or he's at the bar slowly killing off more brain cells as we speak.

Making a Difference

Grandy goes through her job doing the best she can for her clients. It's not done because they PAY me (although it does help me actually GET to work if there's gas in the car). I truly do like helping the clients. Lately though, with everyone's spirits being so low, I can't help but wonder why I try so hard. Really... Does my extra effort matter? Does this client care that I'm working on their monthly summary over the weekend? Do they even NOTICE that I am responding to their inquiry asking for help at 9:00 at NIGHT?!?

Today Grandy's faith in why she does what she does, and why she tries so hard, was restored.

Back in the early part of the year we had a former client in a real bind. This sweet man, who had moved his business away from us a couple years ago due to something WAY beyond my control, found himself in such a mess. He was facing a litigation without insurance coverage that would pay for his defense. I spent MONTHS trying to dig deep through whatever lead I could find to retrace his insurance history that dated back to the early 1980's. NOT an easy task.

One day in April, this sweet man called me. He sounded like he was at the end of his rope. "I'm going to have to file bankruptcy," he said. He had already paid thousands of dollars towards the attorneys, and didn't think he could carry it any further. This case was NOT going to go away. This man has been in business for 36 years, and he was at his threshold.

"Give me 2 more weeks!" I said. "I HAVE TO TRY!"

He agreed to give me two more weeks. I had regular dialogue with his attorney, and was trying EVERYTHING. Then one week later the clouds opened. A couple of avenues I tried paid off big time. Not only did I find coverage, and they agreed to defend him...but they were also going to reimburse him for his bills he already paid. THOUSANDS!!!

Yesterday Grandy finally met this man in person for lunch. That's right...I had not met him in person before. I had only spoken to him on the phone. I reached to shake his hand, and this gruff, self-proclaimed "Oakie" knocked my hand away and gave me a big bear hug.

This gentle-man shared some amazing stories about how he met his wife, how she saved his life, and how things happen for a reason. He talked about what he's been working on since I have helped him. He's trying something new with the business, to try and generate business, and it seems to be working well for him.

He then turned to me and said the following:

I just want you to know that if you ever question how you make a difference in this world, you should know that you saved my business, and you saved me. My current broker wouldn't even look at the lawsuit. In fact he asked me, "What am I supposed to do with this?" You took care of this because YOU cared about what happened to ME, and I will never forget that.

Then he turns to the Producer who had worked on the account for many years and said, "As far as I'm concerned, you've got my business back. You make it happen."

As soon as Grandy got done tearing up (who am I kidding...I full on cried...even sniffled) he handed me a note and asked me to open it later, in private.

The note said: I want to Thank YOU from the bottom of my heart. Without your efforts, I would have had no choice but bankruptcy.

Yep!! This is going to be a great week!!

Are you talking about ME?

A few months back, Grandy got a call from her Doctor's office.

This call was different.

"Grandy, we have someone wanting to do a feature for the Sutter Health Website, and we'd like to relay your information on. Would you be interested?"

Huh? Sure...I suppose.

A month goes by. The call comes from the hospital asking me to sign some documents. Perhaps they want to determine their varying levels of "success", and need to see if Grandy qualifies.

Another month goes by and the call comes from the writer doing the feature.

As she's asking me questions, I'm still a bit amazed that people want to talk to ME about being a "success" where it comes to my health. ME?!? SERIOUSLY?

Folks...the article is up. When I sent the link out to my family and friends it made me cry like a baby. The thought of the words "success" and "health" being used in the same breath, and have them talk about ME meant more than you will ever know. I have only touched the surface on my health issues here on this blog, but it is safe to know I have been through a journey.

Please go read my article here: http://checksutterfirst.org/bariatrics/patientstories/mary.html

Come back and comment, and enjoy the article. It makes me cry just thinking about it. I need to use it as my reminder to be strong, even when I feel like I cannot.

What now?

I have been looking forward to today for weeks now.

It took a lot of work to coordinate the trip for 17 boys and 5 leaders but the Grandy boys, and the most of the troop, pulled away this morning without a hitch. I'm certain that the boys will have fun, both young and old. The Dads going are a great group. The boys will come home with some great stories, new merit badges, and a very distinctive odor emitting from them that will take another week to get it out.

So what does this mean?

GRANDY HAS THE HOUSE TO HERSELF FOR A WEEK!!!!

Here is my very own honey-do list for the week. I've never done my own, surrounded mostly on what I WANT...so it's kind of fun.

*Take a nap - will do that when I'm done here.

*Read a book - yep! Started one yesterday, and my goal is to finish it this week.

*Dishes - Not a biggie...I do that anyway. NOW I can do it with my Broadway Channel blaring in the background.

*Work - Didn't take any days off but I've got meetings, and one of them involves a boat trip in San Francisco one day.

*Post Daily Here - It's been a while, and I'm having difficulty with the scheduling feature, but I can do this for a week!!

*See Altar Boyz Thursday - It's a musical I'm not familiar with, but the reviews are pretty good. Going with a friend, and any night where I can get Sushi and a Musical is a great night.

*Go to Lake Tahoe Friday - Going with another friend to catch Shakespeare at Tahoe. Oh yes, a good girlfriend (she's been trying to get me to go every summer for 6 years), Lake Tahoe, good wine, and my boy Bill. It rarely gets much better.

Not a bad week, huh?

It's sad that I try to squeeze in my first loves (theatre, music, reading, writing) while my other loves are away. It just kinda works out this way. My time is not my own when the boys are around. I need to work on that balance.

This might be JUST what Grandy needs.

See you all on the other side of a week of Rest and Relaxation!!!

WTF Wednesday - Statistics Shmatistics

Read this one again folks!!

My guess is the frequency of teen pregnancy would drop off when they hit the age of... UM... 20??

Maybe we should buy them the condoms that were on sale last week for Mother's Day?

Nice Parking Job!

During the hustle and bustle of the Christmas holiday season, with people flocking to the malls and shopping centers in droves, parking can be somewhat...problematic.

There have been times that Grandy has come out to her car and could not get into it because someone parked so dang close to her door that there would be no way to get the leg in. Grandy has literally had to climb over the passenger seat before. It is times like these, because Grandy already hates to shop, that truly makes the head want to EXPLODE. There have been occasions when a note has been left, or even some choice words have been exchanged with the person who parked the vehicle there.

Now, don't get me wrong, my parking skills are not one for the record books. There have been occasions where maybe I have a tire on the line, or had to make a 32 point turn to maneuver into a parallel parking spot. There was that one time I drove my then boyfriend's (now hubby) truck to the mall to pick up a gift, the parking lot was packed and Grandy saw a primo spot in front of a corvette. I pulled into the space with the lifted truck, and wondered how close I was to the corvette. With the truck in park I got out to check, because I really couldn't tell.

UH-OH!

Yep! Grandy had parked over the corvette. There was absolutely no contact with the little car, but somehow I had parked far enough over it that half the hood was under the truck. YIKES!! You guessed it, Grandy backed out of the spot, checked the vette again for any possible scratches (not a one folks) and decided she would take the land yacht (aka pick-up) to the far end of the parking lot where there were no other cars.

Last week Grandy met a friend for dinner. If it weren't for the fact that this restaurant (on the outside of the mall) wasn't one of the best sushi places around, Grandy would not bother going there. But she was in a hurry, parked in the back, and there were about 20 open spaces all around her. Because she was in a hurry, Grandy didn't realize that her back tire was a little over the line of the next parking space. Besides, there seriously was about 20 open spaces around her!

Grandy had a good time at dinner with her friend, they walked around the massive bookstore inside, and she returned to her car a few hours later. As she approached, she could see something in the windshield. Oh yeah...it was a note alright. The note read: Nice parking job a$$hole!! Learn how to f*c*ing park!!

Hahahaha!!!! There are still 20 open spaces around her, she's in the back of the parking lot, and there is no one else around. The thought that I made someone irate enough to stop and leave this note, by parking out in the middle of nowhere, and having my tire over the line, made me hysterical. I seriously got in the car and laughed so hard I had tears.

Grandy would like to thank the charming soul that left that note on her car. Truly thank that soul. For you see, before that note, I had been having a rough day, consoling a dear friend, and just having an overall difficult time putting things into perspective. That note reminded me, although Grandy may feel like she's going crazy sometimes, there are still people out there WAY worse off than she is.

My Boys

So many of you thought that I only had one boy...

Well get a load of the rest of my boys...

At any given time we have one, several, or all of these boys with us.

They're a group of knuckleheads, but I gotta love them.

I was so proud of them this morning at the 4th of July parade.

I hope you all have a glorious holiday weekend!!

WTF Wednesday - Mother's Day?

Because nothing says "I love you, Mom" like condoms.

HUH?!?!