Grandy's a Little Off

Ok so Grandy has a bit going on in her life.

NO - She's not going back to the hospital. Who the heck wants to have to eat THIS again.


NO - She hasn't lost her job...despite her violent outbursts vivacious personality.


NO - It's not really anything she can speak of specifically, but she just wants to explain why maybe some of her posts seem...um...a bit more random than usual. Not sure exactly how that is possible, to be more random than usual, but okay.


Tell me readers...what's new with you?

Something you DON'T see every day

Yep...this is Grandy's dishwasher.

Yep...that is Grandy's car behind the dishwasher.

We're pretty sure that Grandy and this dishwasher were both conceived in the same year. Only one of us has given up the ghost this year, however.

The other has just thrown in the damn towel.

Geeee...I Wonder

So the Grandy family went to see X-Men: Wolverine late last night.

As we're sitting there, Hubby notices several women coming to see the movie in groups. He leans over and says, "I wonder why are there so many women coming to see this movie without their boyfriends or husbands?"

Ummmm....

Well...ya know...

...you see...ummmm...

For the ACTING!!!

Signs Grandy is Ready for a LONG WEEKEND

When Grandy makes statements like these, it is probably safe to say that she is ready for a long weekend.

~~~Staff Meeting~~~

Administrator: It costs $.08 per page for printing on the color printer. We need to be more mindful of what gets printed, and whether it has to be in color. We have this new report we can run that tells us who is printing to which printer, and what is being printed.

Grandy: Does it tell you that I'm printing my resume?

Boss Lady: ::nervous laugh:: Now really, we are only doing this so we see who is printing the most since we're supposed to be paperless, for the most part.

Grandy: Okay...I'll say it...because you're all thinking it...HI BIG BROTHER!!

~~~Same Staff Meeting~~~

Boss Lady: We're now offering rewards depending on the size of the kudo given to the employees, so we want to encourage everyone to recognize extraordinary efforts by their co-workers.

Audacious Sales Guy: But what if we feel that, although we know they do a great job, that it is part of their job?

Grandy: Then it wouldn't kill you to say, "Thank you" for crying out loud.

**Note: Grandy felt like a schlep for saying that afterward because the boss lady later read a rather amazing written kudo from same audacious sales guy, about Grandy, for saving a client's business. For the record, though, it was saved 1 month ago and he had not ever said a word to me about it. Grandy doesn't need a kudo, but "Thank you" will get you far...for crying out loud.

~~~Introduction at my desk~~~

Marketing Lady: Grandy, I believe you've met Blah-Blah Lady from Who Cares Carrier? Grandy oversees the claims for our clients.

Blah-Blah Lady: Oh, well you wouldn't have any issues with our claims department, we're real strong in that arena.

Grandy: HA!!! Excuse me. ::walked away::

~~~3rd Call from Sales Guy in 1 hour...same guy...3 different issues~~~

Him: I guess it's my day to bother you.

Grandy: YAY ME!!

Yes folks...Grandy keeps chanting "Find my happy place! FIND MY HAPPY PLACE!!"

It's time for a long weekend.

Hope you all have a great one!!!!

WTF Wednesday - Difficult Lessons

Dear Hubbies of the world;

We wives of the world definitely love it when you take it upon yourself to do random domestic things because it's about damn time it's a thoughtful thing to do. HOWEVER, you might warn the Wifey of your inspiration when you spray the shower floor with this:


I know that their pure advertising campaign centers around the fact that "We work...so you don't have to."

...However...

You do STILL have to RINSE the damn stuff off the shower floor so that when Wifey gets in the shower at 5:00 AM while your happy ass is still sleeping she may be prepared for the tripple sow cow that awaits her.

I promise Hubbies. It's not that we don't appreciate your remote efforts in the domestic arena, we just ask for a little more effort or warning.

THAT WILL LEAVE A MARK!!!

Would you be a friend and tell?

We have all had days where we have had food caught in our teeth, and then get ticked at our friends for not having said anything.

Heck, I've witnessed some incredible fashion fauxs that make me question whether or not my true friends would honestly give me their opinion on if the outfit works.

What I don't understand is...how do some people hace absolutely have no true friends that would tell them about this.



One thing I learned about working in the theatre...

Watch out for the "plug chords".

Friends or Foes...Grandy would not allow this to happen to ANYONE!!!

I may blog about it later, but I won't let you be seen!!

Did You Notice Grandy was Gone?

Grandy forgot to mention she had to be out of town for a few days (for business I assure you) which actually ended up meaning she was without her internet for a week.

Guess what readers...Grandy was GOOOOOOD with that one. Not even one obsession moment about it. Well...not a big one anyway.

Here are some highlights of what she's been up to, and I promise that when more sleep can be had, there will be further specific posts.

Number of bathroom stalls in the women’s restroom at John Wayne (A Terminal): 16
Number of bathroom stalls with doors that latch: 1.5

Number of times Grandy had to re-enter the counter at the car rental place before getting a car: 5
Number of times Grandy had to get at the end of the line at the car rental place: 5 (grrr)

Number of times Grandy had to charge her dang cell phone per day: 3.26
Number of times Grandy’s cell phone still died: 3
Number of cell chargers Grandy had to buy: 1

Number of crazy fun people Grandy met while on her business trip: 128921.3
Number of drinks Grandy had with all those crazy fun people: Don’t remember
Number of names Grandy remembers of those crazy fun people: Most
Number of names Grandy has forgotten of same crazy fun people: Doesn’t matter

Number of flings she had with her first true love: JUST ONE!!!

It's a tough job...but hell...it was one Grandy just HAD to do.

Off to nap now, and catch up on a ga-zillion emails. Next week we will try to return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Kids Make Me Laugh...

Because TRUTH is WAY better than fiction!!

The cast:

MB - Funny New Friend
HB - Funny girl (age 9)
TB - Funny guy (age 11)

The scene:

The "B" family home, shortly after school, one day last week.

HB: Mom, do you have a dollar?

MB: No...why?

HB: ::Giggling:: Don't you know what a dollar is Mom?

MB: Um...no!

HB: It's another word for a boy's wiener. I learned it at school.

...pause...

TB: ::in the kitchen making a sandwhich, without missing a beat:: Well then I've got $50. ::back to the sandwhich::

Classic family bonding at it's best.

Ummm...What?

This picture was sent to me in my email.

I won't post what the subject line was, or even the comment within the email.

All I can say is....HUH?

There is SO MUCH wrong with this picture.

But DAMN if he doesn't have HOTTER legs than Grandy!!

A Rant Letter from the Middle-Man

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Soon-To-Be-Exes;

Grandy understands that not all marriages are designed to last. We all can appreciate how difficult divorce can be to go through.


You are both very giving people, offer your own strengths, and are very valuable to our group of parents. It can't be easy to work so closely on community things, when you are going through your divorce. This is why Grandy has given you every f*cking opportunity to step back on your responsibilities within our volunteer board.

Really, as leader of that board, I encourage you to take some time to evaluate your priorities. It's VOLUNTEER! You are going through a lot!! I GET IT!! I have tried to give you your out!! Frankly, there isn't a week that goes by that I don't try to encourage at least 3 people to fire me from this board.

HOWEVER (and you knew this was coming) the moment you start using said board as a pawn in your little games of "who's going to look bad" and "where's waldo the idiot" I must draw the line.


In my day job, I must diplomatically tell people bad things all the time. As a member of this board, I must be equally diplomatic with parents of our boys and the community. Trying to keep your internal games from being obvious to the group is absolutely killing me though.


ENOUGH!!!


We are here for the kids. I know you love your kids. Please step up, do what you promised you would do, and then back off!!


Signed,


Sincerely hoping you will fire me soon...

WTF Wednesday - Problems

The Grandy family is having a bit of a run of bad luck of late.

Lately it seems like whatever we try, we are met with another obstacle.

While keeping things in perspective, I'm reminded it could be worse.

You know this guy's day isn't ending well.

That will hurt at the end.

Because I Left My Balls at the Cemetary

Wanna be sure to get weird looks?

Here's what you do!

Sit at a family dining establishment (any one will do) and make a rubber band ball while sipping on a strawberry mojito. REALLY!!

Last weekend when Grandy went to get her party on with DENS, she decided to pay a visit to dear Dad. I haven't been to the site since we moved mom out of the area about 4 years ago.

Dad always collected rubber bands, and when he died I had made a rather large rubber band ball to go in with him. Since it had been so long since I have been to see him, I thought it was time.

Visiting the local office supply store, I found a couple colorful ones. The pink and purple one was just me. I had to get it. The rainbow one was cute so I had to get that. Then...well...I couldn't just NOT make him one. That would be cheating.

So, here you have it. The mama ball, the baby ball, and the bastard child ball.

Can you tell which is which??

Imagine the looks Grandy got while making this at the table.

Can I get you anything else, Miss?

NOPE! I'm good!

When I visited Dad's site, I left these there. Some people leave flowers...some leave their balls.

Dad would understand...but most others won't.