That being said, I think we all know there is always ONE.
I don't know what it is...every hospital I've had the pleasure of being a temporary resident in (and believe me, I've been in all kinds) I am truly blessed with wonderful nurses who help me to get stronger. I really try to be a good patient, and have often been told I am.
So, why is it I get blessed with the one crazy nurse too? Just lucky I guess.
I am lucky because I get to laugh at the situation later. I truly can find the humor in things.
This weeks winner? We'll call her "Nurse Betty"...for the obvious reasons.
This woman was my night nurse for 3 nights and had about 5 patients each night. Let me tell you, this unit was not what you would call a high turnover unit, we were the same 5 all three nights.
I point this out because it will be important background to have when you read the following conversations that actually took place. Please also note that the voice used in ALL conversations was that of crazy insincerity, like that of a very high pitched cheerleader who just doesn't get it.
It should also be noted that Nurse Betty ended all her visits with "Okay...THANK YOU!"
Oh yeah...and she does wear ALL WHITE uniform like they did in the past. Just without the hat.
Grandy: Did you just give me two shots at one time?
Nurse Betty: Uh-Huh!
Nurse Betty: I wanted to see if I could and it worked.
NB: It's 10pm and time for your pills!
Grandy: What are these? (there were 7)
NB: These are, ummmm...I'm not sure. **Dropping Pills** Shoot...don't take these, Satan has licked them already!
Grandy: (Thinking NB has done more than licked the pills) But I still don't know what they are for.
NB: I'll get you more.
NB: Why do we have a fever?
Grandy: I don't feel very well...I think it's time for some pain medication?
NB: (I kid you not people) Do you watch Oprah?
Grandy: **looking at mom** Um...no
NB: Why not?
Grandy: No time for talk shows
(Yep...didn't get the pain meds until I hit the button 30 min later)
Grandy's Sister (also a nurse): Excuse me, but my sister needs something to eat or something? Her blood sugars are low and she is a diabetic.
NB: She IS???
GS: Yes, you've been giving her insulin for 2 days and testing her blood sugars.
(you guessed it...nothing for an hour)
There were several other gems that I'm afraid kind of blurr together but I think you get the point of what I was in for.
Am I complaining? HECK NO!! I'm grateful for the ability to appreciate the others.