Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Okay...THANK YOU!!

In a previous post, I C more of U, I wrote a bit of a tribute to all the nurses of the world. I truly appreciate what these people go through to help in the healing process.

That being said, I think we all know there is always ONE.

I don't know what it is...every hospital I've had the pleasure of being a temporary resident in (and believe me, I've been in all kinds) I am truly blessed with wonderful nurses who help me to get stronger. I really try to be a good patient, and have often been told I am.

So, why is it I get blessed with the one crazy nurse too? Just lucky I guess.

I am lucky because I get to laugh at the situation later. I truly can find the humor in things.

This weeks winner? We'll call her "Nurse Betty"...for the obvious reasons.

This woman was my night nurse for 3 nights and had about 5 patients each night. Let me tell you, this unit was not what you would call a high turnover unit, we were the same 5 all three nights.

I point this out because it will be important background to have when you read the following conversations that actually took place. Please also note that the voice used in ALL conversations was that of crazy insincerity, like that of a very high pitched cheerleader who just doesn't get it.

It should also be noted that Nurse Betty ended all her visits with "Okay...THANK YOU!"

Oh yeah...and she does wear ALL WHITE uniform like they did in the past. Just without the hat.

Grandy: Did you just give me two shots at one time?
Nurse Betty: Uh-Huh!
Grandy: Why?
Nurse Betty: I wanted to see if I could and it worked.

NB: It's 10pm and time for your pills!
Grandy: What are these? (there were 7)
NB: These are, ummmm...I'm not sure. **Dropping Pills** Shoot...don't take these, Satan has licked them already!
Grandy: (Thinking NB has done more than licked the pills) But I still don't know what they are for.
NB: I'll get you more.

NB: Why do we have a fever?
Grandy: I don't feel very well...I think it's time for some pain medication?
NB: (I kid you not people) Do you watch Oprah?
Grandy: **looking at mom**
NB: Why not?
Grandy: No time for talk shows
(Yep...didn't get the pain meds until I hit the button 30 min later)

Grandy's Sister (also a nurse): Excuse me, but my sister needs something to eat or something? Her blood sugars are low and she is a diabetic.
NB: She IS???
GS: Yes, you've been giving her insulin for 2 days and testing her blood sugars.
(you guessed it...nothing for an hour)

There were several other gems that I'm afraid kind of blurr together but I think you get the point of what I was in for.

Am I complaining? HECK NO!! I'm grateful for the ability to appreciate the others.



Anonymous said...

i'm so sorry you had the nurse ratchett nutball! i had one when i was in hospital. the one who gave me my first dose of IVIG, which of course happened around midnight when no one was around to help me. my brother (a doctor) AND the hematologist had both mentioned giving me benadryl prior because i have a history of allergic reactions. i asked her, "will you give me benadryl first?" "no, honey, it's not written on your chart. let's give it a try without, shall we?"

20 minutes later, i was in the throes of such fierce convulsions, i couldn't hit the help button. i still remember what she said when she finally came in and saw me: "oh. i guess you *did* need benadryl." duh. she gave me benadryl. instant calm.

THANK YOU. indeed.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I'm glad you survived.

Bridge said...

OMG!!! I hope you report her.

Mrs. G. said...

I'm glad you lived to tell the tale.

Michele said...

You always do the best job of finding true humor in every event in your life. You are so awesome! Glad you came through ok and are well enough to be online. So sorry I haven't been around lately (busy beyond belief AND struggling with computer troubles - but no more: I got a laptop! WOO HOO! I'm going to post on it soon *jumps up and down...).


storyteller said...

'Tis delightful to have you back ... blogging with your usual sense of humor intact. Hope everything else heals quickly!
Hugs and blessings,

Melissa said...


Mike Golch said...

Nice to have you back in BLOGLAND,and to survived the nurse for n.u.t.c.a.s.e.

jess said...

again. an instance where i want to collapse in laughter, but feel like it may be inappropriate to do so.

"i wanted to see if i could!!"

LOL. i wouldn't even know what to say!

Tina Coruth said...


I'm glad you are on the mend despite that weird nurse. There is always one in the group. You sure tell this story in a very entertaining way.
Take care!


OHmommy said...

OMG... no kidding. I am glad you lived to tell the tale. Yowzers!!!

Melissa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sandy C. said...

OMG!!! It's so great to have you back!! And WHOA!!! Thank goodness you came out unscathed. I've been a nurse for many years, and sadly, I think I've met a few of those *twirls finger around the side of her forehead*

Your post cracked me up :) Kudos to you for finding humor amidst the madness!

Grandy said...

wreke~ I'm strangely compelled to say "HUH!"

Jenn~ Thanks lady! Would I last on the show?

Bridge~ Thanks for stopping by! I believe I did mention something.

Mrs. G.~ Tall tale that it is.

Michele~ *jumping up and down with you* YEAH LAPTOP TWIN!!! (Oh wait, were we the last ones to get them?)

storyteller~ good to be back.

Melissa~ I know!!

Grandy said...

Mike~ n.u.t.t.y. indeed

Jess~ It's ok to laugh...I do!! That's the best part of living these stories. :)

Tina~ You're very sweet. Thanks!

OHMommy~ Yowzers indeed. I like YOWZERS. ;)

Comment Deleted~ It's you...isn't it Betty?

Sandy~ I knew you'd understdand. ;)

BipolarLawyerCook said...

So bizarre, and so glad you are feeling better!

dkuroiwa said...

But let's take a look on the bright side (I'm searching!!)...yes, she was terrible and the experience awful...but, what a wonderful blog post you got!!! Aaaannnddd...had you got the meds WHEN YOU REALLY NEEDED THEM, you might not have been of the clear mind to remember all that was said!!
I'm so glad you're home and feeling better!

Grandy said...

LawyerCook~ Yes I am getting better every day.

dk~ There is a silver lining...somewhere ;)