Monday, March 3, 2008

I Couldn't Make This Up...PROMISE!

It was Cinco de Mayo 2002.

I had not been drinking but rather had just thrown a bridal shower for my future sister-in-law.

I got home and realized I was dangerously low on insulin and would have to drive the 17 miles into town to get it before the pharmacy was to be closed the next day.

Oh wait...before I go, I need to check the mail. Drive to corner, and park my 1998 Chevy Blazer across the street from the mailbox (the only time ever that I park there because hubby has been nagging me to do so) and get out to check the mail on the opposite corner.

As I turned the key to the mailbox, I hear a funny sound. Tires on loose gravel? Nah...can't be.

Slow turn...YEP...My car is driving itself UPHILL!!! WTF?

I run to catch up to it just as the front right tire caught the corner of my property, prompting it to turn. car (still without a driver) has now driven uphill AND made a right turn!!

My biggest fear is that it will head down the hill just past my house and either hit another car head on or take out a child. I am now running alongside my car!! Where is candid camera??

I get the door open and grab the steering wheel...just in time for that lovely right front tire to catch the lip of the property again and make a right turn ON the down hill.

I mentioned I had just thrown a bridal shower, so I was looking cute in my little spring overall outfit. However, the overalls did not come in handy when I lost my footing (still running beside vehicle but now damn thing has picked up speed going downhill) and fell. The overall strap caught on something either on the door or on the seat...who the heck cares...all I know is I am no longer "running" along side the vehicle. I am being DRAGGED along side the damn thing.

Through the wooden fence...then through a vegetable garden wired fence (oh yea...that stung a bit) and the vehicle finally came to a stop after colliding with our poor tree.

I am pleased to announce that no tree was actually harmed during this was stripped a little naked, but heck, so was I. The tree even has it's own cross with a dedication to the event (I'm surrounded by smarta$$e$). But the Blazer had almost $9000 damages. As for the fences? Hubby apparently had wanted to take those down anyway, although I'm quite certain their was an easier way to do so.

What I found out later is that the way the hill was angled, stopping the car where I did made me think I had put it in park. When I got across the street, the AC kicked on just enough to rev up the RPM just enough to give it motivation to get up the rest of the hill. Pair this up with the fact that I was apparently already low blood sugar...quite the recipe indeed.

Imagine Grandy, who at the time worked as an auto injury claims adjuster, calling in this claim to her carrier. **whispering**"Look...all I can say is the car drove off by itself! Make it my fault and send the appraiser!!

Did I mention that I truly am like Lucille Ball? I've got tons more of these.


Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

You paint a vivid picture!

Michele said...

This story should bring big $$$$!! Very hilarious story, although I'm sure it hurt... in more ways than one! :-)

Thanks for sharing!


treesflowersbirds said...

And suddenly (as a fairly new reader) your blog title and graphic become!!! Lucille Ball indeed. Thanks for the second laugh of the night :-)

Suzanne said...

Only in Grandyland!

If you're Lucy, I must be Ethel!

Melissa said...

Wow. If you have more of these, you might want to write a book.

onthecurb said...

I love it. Well, not the fact that you injured yourself, totalled your vehicle, damaged your property,... But, you did it all with flair. ;-)

OHmommy said...

Ha! Hilarious. All while dressed in a cute spring outfit. Ouch!

Tamra said...

Why is imagining other people's pain so FUNNY?! Great story.

Mike Golch said...

Grandy,well I can relate to wrecking a vehicle,and No I was not due to haveing a low blood sugar,that's the BH's job.(she has been a type 1 for almost 40 years).
I can just picture you being hauled along by the Blazer.
And we all have some lucille Ball in our over even some of Murphy(as in Murphys Law)
Hugs and Blessings your way.

Travis said...

Oh my gosh! What an introduction to your blog! Nice and wacky...just the way I like it!

Thanks for stopping by my place today! I'll be back around again to see if there's any more wackiness!

PS: I don't normally use so many !!!

krissy said...

That is a very bad day! You should have video taped it though! That would have been funny!!!

Mrs. G. said...

I am glad to know that I am not the only woman who wore spring overalls.

Sandy C. said...

OMG! What a day and what a story! Thanks for sharing :)

Grandy said...

Jenn~ Vivid indeed...when I typed this last night I still cringed and it's been several years.

Michele~ It mainly hurt my ego is all. ;)

Trees (aka tp huh?) ~ See there is a method to my madness.

Suzanne~ Grandyland...I haven't heard that one before but I like!!

Melissa~ I've been told that one. Should call it Grandyisms. :)

curb squirrel~ Always with flair. Tis how I roll.

OHMommy~ Only a classy lady like yourself would sympathize with the outfit.

Grandy said...

Tamra~ It's funny even when you live it and not just imagine it. Thanks for stopping by.

Mike~ Murphy and I go WAY back.

Travis~ WELCOME!! Don't be afraid of the almighty !! to reflect won't scare me.

Krissy~ Had I videotaped I would be SO RICH by now.

Mrs. G.~ Kindred spirits indeed.

Sandy~ Anytime my bloggy friend!!

BipolarLawyerCook said...

I definitely would've called that one in for an EUO. "No way she wasn't intoxicated," I would say. Then, I would laugh my ass off after deciding you were telling the truth.

storyteller said...

Ohmygosh! That’s a keeper of a story! What images … and excitement!
Hugs and blessings,

Grandy said...

Bipolar~ I know you'd only call the EUO to see if I could tell it with a stright face. ;)

storyteller~ Excitement indeed.

Tina Coruth said...


Wow! You had me on the edge of my chair. I think you outdid Lucy! LOL