OTS Season - Ready or Not

While many rugged men out there have their Duck Season, Dear Season, Wabbit Season, Duck Season (oh you know how that ends) we women have our OTS Season.

Ladies, you may not recognize it as anything more than "Open-Toed-Shoe Season".

For those of you still experiencing significant snowfall I must say it sucks to be you apologize if you do not yet find yourselves preparing for this annual event. Here in California, the sun is shining. It's still a bit chilly, but OTS in the air. I see the women going into the salons by the droves, in preparation for opening day of OTS Season.

The ritual for OTS is the lovely pedicure. Women are mindlessly programmed that they should not go out in public, in open toed shoes, without having the toenails painted. Before you knew it, you could not drive by a strip mall of any kind without finding at least one Starbucks manicure/pedicure place.

When Grandy was a Fatty McFat-Fat on the heavier side, she had made it a regular habit to get a pedicure. She told herself it was because she loved to be pampered, and worked really hard, so she deserved it. The real reason was that she was too flipping fat to be able to paint her own dang toes.

Now that Grandy is in a healthier place, and since she is making a commitment to pay better attention to where her money goes, she has decided that she must take matters into her own hands and have a DIY Pedicure.

Granted the DIY Pedicure is lacking a few of the perks that comes with the spa pedicure, like soaking your feet in the warm bubbly water, the massage chairs, and the wonderful foot massage. There are some other benefits to the DIY, like being able to do it while watching TV, no tickling of your feet with the dang stone thing (I have to promise each time I won't kick them in the head) and of course the cost.

So...without further adoo...Here is Grandy's before pic:




~~~Forgive me ladies, for I have sinned. It has been more than 60 days since my last pedicure. ~~~


And now the DIY job:




Alright...so I'll get the polish cleaned OFF the TOES later. It still saved me $25!

What are you doing to prepare for the sunshine and the good weather? To prepare for it now, will help get you out of the winter doldrums!!!

Sunday Stalker Spotlight - TPGoddess

Welcome to this week's edition of Sunday Stalker Spotlight!!!

This week's focus is on a great little lady, who I swear that when I do get off my happy a$$ to go visit my sister in southern California (I promise honey...I WILL GET THERE) I am going to look her and Jenn the Juggler up.


This woman didn't used to like writing, and you won't find her doing "appointment" blogging (sorry NaBloPoMo), but You would never know it actually. She is frank, sarcastic, and all about her boys' sports. She is a tomboy after my own heart.


I found her back when I first started blogging, because her comment name struck me. Who is this TPGoddess? And how do I meet her? Readers...please allow me to introduce you to Christina from Trees and Flowers and Birds.




**Your Blog(s): - http://treesflowersbirds.wordpress.com/ . Just the one – really! Though I do sometimes post a diary at http://www.mothertalkers.com/ - like once every two years! But today they did put it on the front page today. I’m just Christina there. It’s about Middle School homework blues. Yes, an expansion on my recent post at my own site.

**How long have you been blogging?: - My own site has been up for 3 years though not as its current incarnation. I moved from blogger to wordpress in ’07. I’ve been on sites like Mother Talkers for 5 years.


**Why do you blog?: - Totally personal. I’ve always had this hang up that I ‘hated’ writing. I am an accountant after all! But as my friends here and there started their own sites I saw the fun of documenting yourself. Now, I never did keep a written journal or diary – that whole hating of writing thing – but I could deal with it being online and with no pressure to post every single day. Plus, by having it public, I was forced to find a way to express myself well. And I love adding pictures or cartoons to put some zing into the topic.

**What does your blog say about you?: - How about, what DOESN’T it say about me? Ok, it says that I am willing to put it ALL out there. The inane and the deep thoughts on absolutely any topic. I’m not the most private person on the planet. You might also detect some snarky and sarcastic tones.

**What is your favorite part about blogging?: - That it has changed how I view every day life because I am looking at things with the eye of a story teller. I feel more aware and more consistently in the moments. And comments! Man, once you get those first few you are like an addict! I enjoy the follow up conversations a lot.


**Any blog-types out there that turn you off of reading?: - Oh, this will sound so so so politically incorrect, but…the totally INTO it BlogHer attending, ads all over the page bloggers. It’s all a little too much like a popularity clique. Which tells you a lot about how I was in high school and how I am now IRL – skirting away from the popular crowds and having a blast hanging with the much smaller fringe groups who are more independent minded and unique.


**Does your blog personality match your offline personality?: - Oh yeah. Though I definitely cuss a lot more IRL. I try to edit that out on the blog since my mom does read.


**Does your family know you blog?: - Yes. They all have the link though my parents are the only ones who check in daily. The boyfriend used to until he was convinced that I don’t write anything he doesn’t already know and the kids kinda only care if I write something about them! Oh, and why – because as I said in #4 – nothing to hide and willing to share.

**What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re NOT blogging?: - Talk to my boyfriend or my kids (when I am not wanting to kick them across the planet that is!) Putter in my garden, nap with my kitties, watch sports (preferably with youngest son) and read.

...And my uber favorite question...


**Tell us more about YOU: -


Let’s see. The basics – single mom most of my life to two boys. One is 23 and the other is 12. Two marriage and two divorces. Now utterly content to call the love of my life my boyfriend and nothing more. We’ve been together 9 years and it feels like just one, I swear. Added two cats to the family two years and now the family seems complete.

As an only child, I thrive on rare days like today when I am home alone in a quiet house and able to just dither around on the computer or read or watch tv or play in the garden with no “have to do’s” on my plate. Rare moments since I work full time and serve on two community boards and have my younger son always on two sports teams at a time.

A recently added passion to my life is politics. I started really paying attention about 10 years and in the process I switched parties and really started to enjoy watching the game unfold. Also LOVE to mock the media. Easy and, I think, necessary since they have in many ways failed the public interest by becoming much too tied to corporate profits.

I’m an utter geek for cool technology on the web and social media sites to keep me connected to the people I’ve met in my life. Facebook and Twitter keep me connected daily with people who would otherwise have been lost. I LOVE that connectivity.

And yet, oddly, I could not be bothered to pick up the phone or write letters back in the day! Horrible and ironic isn’t it? I constantly fight the urge to be a hermit in my home and the urge to connect. Keeping that balance is key for my own sanity.

I am a guy in a girls body in a lot of ways. For instance, yesterday after my son’s Little League team had finished their game, I chose to go back to the field an hour later to watch the next game with our coaches. Why? Because that is fun for me and because the next team playing is the one we play next and a rival and I wanted to see them lose! And I could have gone to sit in the stands with a couple of mom friends who I know quite well, but no, I sat in the outfield with the guys because I love hearing them talk about the strategies of the game. A couple of years ago after a football game I went out to dinner with the coaches and listened to their post game analysis! Both times without my son who was with his dad at the time. I know I am weird and I know people probably think that, but I cannot help it and long ago accepted my oddities. I am what I am as Popeye would say!

While I am very even keeled and often called pragmatic by my friends, I can get pretty intensely irritated pretty quickly! Especially at what I often call “The Stoopid”. I also tend to have no brain filter and will rather quickly, verbally react to The Stoopid. Not always wise, but, there it is. Also have no patience for Woe is Me types. Pick yourself up, deal with the situation, let yourself feel the pain and then walk through it and out the other end please. Learn the lesson and then keep on keeping on. Wallowing makes my head hurt. Blaming makes me nauseous. Drama makes my skin crawl. Oh, and I can be kinda strongly opinionated.

Mostly though, I love being around different types of people because variety is the spice of life and I do love to learn. Watching my boys minds and opinions develop is pure joy. Tapping into the overall wisdom of people on the internet helps me get over humps, and I pay it forward by sharing my own stuff and fluff and how I get through it.

All this from a woman who never used to like to write.

Thank you, Christine, for opening up for all of us, and letting us see a different side of you. Thank you for being a Stalker of Grandy-Land. The place just wouldn't be the same without ya.

Psychic Friend I'm NOT

Do any of you remember Dionne Warwick's Psychic Friends Network?

Did you know that apparantly Vivica Fox is the new in-house psycho psychic? Don't believe me?

HAHA!!! Shoot! Grandy is digressing already!!! For the record, I do like you, Vivica. You're beautiful. JUST SAY NO!!

Anyway...boy did I start this with a tangent...Grandy's son apparently believes that Grandy works for this same psychic friend's network.

Here's the scene:

(Two weeks ago)

Him: Mom, can I get some new shoes?
Me: Why? Do yours not fit?
Him: No, their fine. They're just starting to break down.
Me: (nerding out on a budget with taxes coming) Honey, I'll see about working that in on the next pay period, if you can wait until the end of the month, okay?
Him: Okay.
Me: Your feet are alright in them?
Him: Yeah.

...Fast Flipping Forward to this past Sunday...
Him: Mom, can we get me some new shoes yet?
Me: (looking at his feet) We're NOT at the end of the month yet, honey. We just had your birthday. Are your feet alright?
Him: Yeah, they're just breaking down.
Me: Hang in there, buddy. Just a little over a week (trying to fix the instant gratification that runs rampant in the Grandy household).

...enter Hubby...blah blah - let's go look at some - blah...

Go to mall. Walk into exactly 8 shoe stores trying to find HIS shoes, that he MUST have, that are under $70 (not getting anywhere).


Me: Well let's at least try some on and see where we're at. Maybe we can get "this" brand, rather than "overly-priced" brand?
Him: (pouting) I suppose.
Me: Let's get a size and fit at least.

Sales-lady: What size?
Me: Well let's see, his size is currently 8.5...let's try a 9 or 9.5.
Sales-lady: Okey- Dokey!

He tries on the 9 - no good

Tries on the 9.5 - no good

WHAT?!?

Sales-lady: Mom...it would appear his shoes are still too small.
Me: (flashing mother of the year signs and images of CPS at her front door in her head) Um... let's try a 10?
Sales-lady: Okey-Dokey! (Twit)

Yes folks...Grandy is again up for mother of the year points. Apparently I have been making my son get around in shoes that were 3 sizes too small.

The better part? Got his report card on Friday.

How did he get a "B" in P.E.?

The shoes in his locker are 7.5.

HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?? I thought it was because they were looking like this...






Good thing he's cute because he's NOT earning extra credit in his communication skills any time soon.

Grrrrrr...

Because I Couldn't Resist

My sister-in-law sent this to me in my email.

I don't normally post political stuff on here but couldn't resist sharing this one with you all.

Happy Monday everybody!!

Sunday Stalker Spotlight - Picking Out A Thermos

If you've ever felt a glorious rush from having too much caffeine all at once, then you are going to appreciate this week's spotlight. Deanna is woman with Spunk (that capital S is on purpose) who blogs about being a "special needs" kids' mom (Angelman Syndrome) to things that make her want to puke, and EVERYTHING in between.

Her whole family reads her blog, which we all know can be a good and a bad thing. She's considered starting a networking blog group called "Parents of Teenage Boys Who Know Everything and Belong to Parents Who Know Nothing." Having just joined the club myself, I'm sure I could learn a lot.

Readers, it's my pleasure to introduce you to Deanna: Wife, Mother of 6 (you read that right), Sister, Daughter, Blogger, and fellow caffein A-D-D-I-C-T.

**Your Blog(s). – You can find me at Picking Out a Thermos -
http://nochurchsignsallowed.blogspot.com/ - yep, the title and the blog address aren't related in the slightest way. That should be a warning about the content...

*I swear I could not get this picture bigger!*

**What does your blog say about you?: - I'm sarcastic, mostly, with periods of "thoughtful introspection" that most likely effectively prove why I should stick with the sarcasm. It also says I talk. a. lot.

**What is your favorite part about blogging?: - I get to talk to an adult. (Too bad it's just me.) Well actually, I know that sometimes I manage to make people laugh - which I love to do. If I could get paid to talk and make people laugh till they cry, I would be ecstatic. And I kinda really do like it when people comment, even if it's just a "Hi, I was here" thing. I don't say that in an egotistical manner - I just REALLY REALLY like knowing someone stopped by my corner of the world and found amusement. Or whatever they found. (Hopefully if it was money they left it for me.)

**What DON’T you like about blogging?: - 1. I'm no English teacher, but lots of grammatical errors drive me nuts. The occasional misspelled word doesn't bother me, but things like "Yesterday I done something..." Ugh! 2. Victim-mentality is something I can't stand. 3. And people who take themselves so darn serious all the time! Lighten up, people! You might as well laugh at yourself 'cuz the rest of us are!

**Does your blog personality match your offline personality?: - HA! Pretty much!! Judging by the fact that when my kids read what I write, they raise their eyebrows in the same fashion as when they actually hear me say something that they raise their eyebrows at...I'd say so. I tend to not write about heavy stuff, even though I have plenty of experience with heavy subjects, because there's not much point in dwelling on the sadness of something. Deal with it, get angry about it, ask God WHY ME???? if you need to, learn from it, and move on...help someone else with similar things when you can, but don't wallow in self-pity. And besides, if you need drama and twisted lies, watch the news. Come see me for fun.

**What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re NOT blogging?: - I could spend 24 hours a day with my husband - I like him that much. I pretty much like my kids, too - but I rather appreciate an occasional break from the childishness of children. In my mind, I'm a great scrapbooker, a wonderful seamstress, and an awesome chef. Mostly I just look at pictures. And lose the extra buttons. And get fat from baking Betty Crocker brownies too often.

*How CUTE are they?*

**How often do you blog?: - Whenever the mood strikes. Or when I see stupid in action. It probably averages a couple times a week. That is, the blogging part averages twice a week - I can find stupid in action pretty much anytime.

...AND ALWAYS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE INTERVIEW...

**Tell us more about YOU!!
I turn 40 this year. I have less gray hair than any of my sisters at this age, so I'm OK with 40. Because that is important, you know.

I grew up never knowing from one day to the next if my parents were going to be together. They finally divorced when I was 13. The teenage years - I believe a girl MOST needs her father then, for so many reasons. I wasn't allowed to see my dad for over 4 years. Not a good plan. Nope.

I've been married to Tom for almost 18 years. I've got 6 kids. 2 are foster children we're hoping to adopt soon. I home-school all of them except for my son with Angelman Syndrome. I recently realized that the fine print of the application for a SAHM says "Please be advised that the salary for this position has been redirected to the grocery budget, piano lessons, travel expenses and braces. See Administrator with any questions."

I live in an area of Ohio that has an unemployment rate double the national average. At more than 15%, we are all feeling the effects of bad politics in action. My husband's employer is laying off 15% of the workforce this Friday. No one knows who.

I am a very imperfect person who tries her best to follow God. I've learned that loving people shows them so much more about God than my judging them ever will.

I like public speaking. I would absolutely LOVE to be a motivational speaker - so move over, Anthony Robbins, I'm comin' to your town! No, really - not for the sales crowd. I've been through too much sales training - HATED sales! But if I could help influence people to feel encouraged despite their adversity, I would SO love it!

I can't stand husband-bashing. I can't stand "Boys will be boys" mentality as an excuse for bad behavior. I can't stand men calling their wives derogatory names. I expect girls to behave like girls, not boys or bimbos.

I drink way more coffee than I really need. But I don't smoke, I rarely drink, and I only cuss when I'm PMS-y and way overstressed and chocolate deficient and dealing with sick kids in cold weather on dreary days and long overdue for a roll in the hay with my husband. Which generally fixes everything. So since all that stuff happens simultaneously about twice a year, (Except the fixes-everything part - THAT would be bad news!!) which means I only cuss twice a year, I'm keeping the coffee habit. It hides my lying habit.

I'm in counseling for my run-on sentence issues.

I blog on a computer that is (still) operating on Windows 98. I'm sincerely hoping that Ohio doesn't start issuing IOU's for tax refunds so that I can purchase a new(er) system. I routinely get booted, despite high-speed connections.

I appreciate Grandy inviting me to leap onto her blog for a day. She knows I can ramble on for days, and she still asked me over for tea and crumpets! Come see me at my place - the coffee's fresh!

Thank YOU, Deanna, for sharing so openly with everyone here in Grandy-Land. It has truly been a pleasure.

I pray that you get your 2009 Wish...

Taxes Suck

That's right readers...it's that time again.

Grandy is working on a serious headache and some serious taxes this weekend.

Remember this painful post from last year?

Somebody get me a bottle of WINE!! No...NOT WHINE!

I want the real stuff.

STAT!!

How He Sees Me - My Birthday Boy

San Francisco Silliness

My blogging buddy, Wreke, had a meme up a short while back. This meme spoke volumes to me, as I queitly approach my son reaching a milestone.

Folks...he is 13 today. MY SON! I am the MOM OF A TEENAGER!


**fighting back tears**

I must admit I've been pouting a little melancholy about him getting bigger. I never thought I would have only one child, I never planned on it, but that appears to be the case. That's what in the cards, and I have been dealt the best hand with this kid. He is THE BEST thing I could have ever hoped for.

And now that one and only child is a teenager.

In Wreke's meme, "Teach Your Children", she gave the following instructions: Copy this note, ask your kid the questions and write them down exactly how they respond. So of course I had to post this on his BIRTHDAY!! His answers are in blue...and my additional comments are italicized.







Simple enough...

1. What is something Mommy always says to you? - How much you're proud of me. - I thought for sure he was going to say, "Did you do your homework?"

2. What makes Mommy happy? - When you see my bright smiling face in the morning. - smart ass

3. What makes Mommy sad? - When somebody gets hurt.

4. How does Mommy make you laugh? - You crack jokes

5. What was Mommy like as a child? - A tomboy - Nailed that one on the head.

6. How old is Mommy? - 36

7. How tall is Mommy? - 5'4" - said with a smile because he knows I only have ONE INCH on him.

8. What is Mommy’s favorite thing to do? - Be with us.

9. What does Mommy do when you’re not around? - Listen to broadway and blog.

10. If Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for? - Acting - Suuuuurrreee...

11. What is Mommy really good at? - Do I have to only say one thing? Talking, making people laugh, your job.

12. What is Mommy not very good at? - Letting me do what I want. - I would consider that a good thing folks.

13. What does Mommy do for her job? - Reads emails - I guess it would seem like that.

14. What is Mommy’s favorite food? - Fish

15. What makes you proud of Mommy? - What makes me proud of you? How you always say that you're proud of me.

16. If Mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be? - Is there a "why" to this, or just who would you be? - HA!!!

17. What do you and Mommy do together? - Everything

18. How are you and Mommy the same? - We like the same stuff...except for broadway.

19. How are you and Mommy different? - You like your job and I don't.

20. How do you know Mommy loves you? - Cuz you tell me and you show it.

21. Where is Mommy’s favorite place to go? - Home

These answers are so funny to see. I thought for sure I knew what he would say for some of these. He is SO literal in so many ways...and yet doesn't pay attention at all sometimes. I love these answers because they are all so him.

Happy Birthday my Big Guy!!!!

You're a teenager now. It breaks my heart, and warms my heart at the same time to see how big you're getting.

But I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!

These 2 pics were taken this weekend when we took him snowboarding.

Even with all that hair...those eyes will melt any heart.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG GUY!!!

WTF Wednesday - Flip My Switch

I can't be the only one that cringes when seeing this picture because I have so been there!!!

You know you have been here too. Admit it!!

Well... I'm off to go see what the "grey" cord does.

My Newest Friend

It has happened.

I have conformed.

Facebook has taken over my life.

Many of you are there already.

I'm still trying to figure out about all those applications, but I'm so very excited to have discovered so many of my old friends.

High school friends, college friends, and even friends from some old shows I've worked on in my old theatre days.

I'm not overboard...yet.

Are you on board??

What do you like about it??

Sunday Stalker Spotlight - Suzanne Sez

This week's featured stalker is a great cook (I can tell by her pictures of her food) who should blog for the Food Network. She's been blogging for 3 1/2 years, and keeps a very crazy schedule with her husband Ed, her two boys and their activities, blogging and cooking . She found me back during my first NaBloPoMo of 2007, and we've been stalking each other ever since.

Readers, please allow me to introduce you to Suzanne. In my blog roll it says "So you don't get any phone calls from me...".

**Your Blog(s): I've got four, but one is private about my son's Aspergers (in case there's book material), one hasn't been tended to in a while and the other two are kept up. http://www.suzannesez.blogspot.com/ and http://www.newsuereview.blogspot.com/, but they'll be moving to my own URL in the future.

**Why do you blog?: At first, it was to quell the complaints of "I never get to TALK to you since you moved." Then, I started getting the occasional comment from strangers and that was a rush. It is still a very personal blog in many respects.

**What does your blog say about you?: If there wasn't proof before, I think SuzanneSez is a blinking neon sign that I have ADHD. It's all over the place-food, music, family, travel and lots of pictures. Sometimes I throw in a meme and I always try to be funny (but fail most of the time.)

**What is your favorite thing about blogging?: That one post can evoke so much response. I wrote about losing my house a year ago and I still get emails from others going through the same thing. I wrote about being banned from a message board, and that post gets dozens of hits every week.

**What DON'T you like about blogging? Any blog types that turn you off of reading?: What I don't like about blogging is when I have no comments. Seriously, since doing NaBloPoMo, Holidailies and Blog365, I am used to at least one comment a day-even when the person says "I don't get this at all"-at least the person told me! Blog types that turn me off are the 'rock stars' who speak of blogging keeping them in touch with others, but they don't even have comments open on their posts.

**Do you comment?: Yes. Last year's resolution was to make at least 3 comments a day. I think I ended the year doing about 5 per day. So far this year, I'm averaging a lot more than that. Comments are what keep our community going.

**Does your blog personality match your offline personality?: I think it does! I'm a WYSIWYG girl in real life, and I think the blog is pretty much the same. A few of my IRL friends read you, too, I'm sure they'll have something to say about whether I'm really me, or a 70 year old man in a cabin in North Dakota.

**Does your family know you blog? Why / Why Not?: Except for a few siblings, everyone knows I blog. Even the kids propose blogging topics.

**Do they read your blog?: Yes. Ed comments in person, rather than online. Some other relatives read it (Hi, I see you on sitemeter and statcounter and I know you're there), but they never comment. My goofy brother in law comments by pinging me in Facebook chat, because I think he's afraid if people see his comments, we'll ALL be dragging him into blogging (he is one seriously funny dude!)

**How often do you blog?: At least once a day since November 1, 2007. It's such a habit that I'm scrambling to make sure a scheduled post works on Saturday while I'm camping.

At least once a day? For over a year? Really Suzanne?!? HOW DO YOU DO IT?!?

Thank you, sweet lady, for participating in my stalker survey and sharing a little bit more about you with my readers. Thank you for stalking me as much as you do. I share your sense of community about this whole blogging thing, and love this picture you put our there to your community here.

WTF Wednesday Returns

It is hard to refer to Wednesdays as "Hump Day" when it brings such joy to my heart to just say WTF.


It never ceases to amaze me the level of panic some people get when I am out of the office for even a day. I feel bad now for my co-worker, who covers for me when I'm out. My desk is insane, and I know that, but others shouldn't have to be subject to the insanity.


So I've considered framing this picture for her as a gift. Tell me what you think!!!

The Grandy-Land Superhero IS HERE

She can kick ass, take names, and bring home the bacon to boot.

Let me introduce you all to the Grandy-Land Superhero, as illustrated by The Hero Factory.

She looks remarkably like the new Grandy, with her short hair cut...only WAY hotter.

Sunday Stalker Spotlight - Persnickety Ticker

This week's Stalker Spotlight is featured on my very first Blog Stalker, Persnickety Ticker. She has only been blogging a little over a year (just had her Blogversary on her Birthday February 6th) and already has 2. This woman uses humor and sarcasm to see her way through a life chuck full of adversity, while at the same time leaving a bit of embarassing fodder a legacy for her 5 year old blessing.

It is my pleasure to introduce you to Persnickety Ticker:

**Your Blog(s): http://persnicketyticker.blogspot.com/ and http://crazyladysawwhat.blogspot.com/

**What does your blog say about you? What doesn’t my blog say about me? I pretty much let it all hang out. All my feelings, thoughts, and wacky randomness that just is my life. I hope it says…or for that mater SHOUTS out to the whole world…exactly who I am. I’m pretty open about myself on there, slightly guarded about my child and pretty much bluntly honest about everything else.

**What is your favorite part about blogging? That other people actually think I am funny even when I am not related to them.

**What DON’T you like about blogging? I don’t like that I haven’t earned a million dollars from blogging yet. I see bloggers everyday that have corporate sponsors or invites to conventions and whirlwind trips and thousands of readers and I sit back and say to myself, “WTF am I doing wrong?” Not that I am bitter or anything. (Call me corporate sponsors!!!) Or looking at blogging as a get rich quick sceme. I know it isn’t. I just know that I am at least as half as funny or interesting as those I see out there. Actually more, because I have seen some really bad blogs. Seriously. Some people shouldn’t be let near a computer. I guess I just haven’t been doing it long enough or often enough. Hell, at this point it would be nice to earn enough from my adsense that they would at least cut me a check, hehehe.

**Any blog-types out there that turns you off of reading? As far as blogs that irritate me to the point of not reading? The ones that don’t use the spell check that is so very obviously available. Proofreading works, People! OK, I’m gonna go lock that inner English teacher back in her cage and beat her with a rubber hose to quiet her now.

**Does your blog personality match your offline personality? I’d like to say I’m tamer than I come across but that would just be bald faced lie.

**Does your family know you blog? Why / Why Not? Some do. Some wouldn’t know what a blog was if it bit ‘em in the ass. The family that reads thinks I am hilarious. ::cougholdersistercough:: Then there is the family that reads occasionally but never comments. ::coughyoungersisterbitchcough:: Then there is my poor old dear sweet mother (watch your step, that’s a huge puddle of dripped sarcasm there) who is lucky to be able to successfully check her email on her dinosaur of a PC. Then there are my friends, which are the best family anyone could ask for, and my regular readers whom I love with all my heart ::wink::

** What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re NOT blogging? I actually have a job, and a business for that matter. I make jewelry and sell it. Online for right now, but am looking into other means of peddling my goods. (That sounded way dirtier on paper than it did in my head.)

** How often do you blog? I never stop blogging. Seriously. I have this little notebook that I carry around and scribble in constantly like a crazy person. I come up with some really great stuff in the shower and right before I fall asleep, but sadly, those two activities prevent me from writing it down before my Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny kicks in.

**Tell us more about YOU!! You want serious stuff of the fantasy things that makes me seem like an incredibly well rounded, mentally stable individual? Well let’s start with the facts then. I am 33 years old. I am the mother of a 5 year old girl. My daughter was born at 23 weeks gestation weighing 1 pound and 5 ounces. I died giving birth to her, she was born dead. (We are feeling much better now, thanks.) She was my 27th miscarriage. I’ve been dead for longer than 5 minutes 8 times in my life. I was born with a birth defect in my heart that wasn’t discovered until I was 20 years old. I have had 3 heart attacks. I am a survivor no matter what tries to kill me. I am not sure how I do it, I just do. Yes I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel and have even been on the other side of it, but that is another story for another time and place. I find humor in adversity. I am a riot at funerals. I use humor and laughter as a defense mechanism. I don’t know when to stop talking. I get loud and obnoxious at times, but thankfully have friends and family that can reign me in. “I’d like to teach the world to siiiinnnng, in perfect harm-o-neeee.” I occasionally break out into song at completely inappropriate times that embarrass the crap out people. I love to watch them squirm. I feed off of other people’s humor like most people breathe. I need funny in my life or I fall apart. My daughter provides me with endless mirth and frustration, all of which provides me with blog fodder. I cuss a lot. Both in person and on my blog. I am not a perfect mother or person or daughter or friend, but I try my best and that is all anyone can do. I sometimes don’t know when to shut up. This is not one of those times, so I am going to quit boring Grandy’s readers into drool-drowning puddles of ruined keyboard goo. If anything you read here interests you, feel free to stalk me too. One can never have too many stalkers. Thanks to Grandy for the interview and the interest in sharing me with others like the herpes. Hopefully I have only been mildly irritating and have only bothered you intermittently. Cheers!

Thank you, Persnickety, for sharing your AMAZING story and your heart with us all. I love that you have shared so openly and honestly with me and my readers. We can all learn a little about perspective from what you have shared with us. Your approach to adversity is one that I have always shared and admired.

Readers, make sure you go say HI to Persnickety at one of her sites!!

I AM A SUCCESS STORY

March 5, 2008: Grandy takes this picture in her living room, just in front of the coat closet, as they are getting ready to leave for dinner.

*Fast Forward*

March 5, 2009: Grandy takes this picture...reluctantly...while on the phone...to show progress made throughout the year.

Looking at these, it's hard to believe either one is me. I never really saw that person in the top picture and I don't yet see the person yet to be in the bottom.

On March 6, 2008, Grandy had Gastric Bypass surgery. I know you all know that I had a "surgery" back in March last year, but I never really shared with everyone WHAT the surgery was. There are so many opinions out there about the surgery, and the reasons people have them, that I didn't want people making assumptions about me or my reasons while I was going through the process.

First things first, Grandy's weight did not qualify her for the surgery by itself. In looking at the picture, I don't see how that is possible, but it is true. It was the fact that my diabetes was heading off the chart, my heart rate was out of control, blood pressure couldn't get down, and I was pretty much headed to even bigger issues. Despite gym attempts and re-hashing dietary needs over and over and over, Grandy was taking 13 medications per day (200 units of insulin was just the start). Those medications were taking a toll on my system.

The GP had mentioned the surgery to me for a couple years, but each time I would get ticked at the mere mention that I was even large enough. I'm not 100 lbs. overweight DANG IT! He would always come back with, "You don't have to be. You just have to be over 40% body mass index. Clearly you are." ASS

So Grandy tried other ways: Weight Watchers, Atkins, Exercising, Weight Watchers again, you name it. Slowly her weight would fall, rise, fall further, rise higher. All the while, no matter what she did, her blood sugars never balanced out.

In April 2007 Grandy applied to go on "The Biggest Loser". At that time my weight was 226. It was enlightening to even go through the application process (to say the least). I cried as I truthfully answered all the questions. When it came to filling out my health history, it broke my heart. I was now turning 35 and did not see the possibility of me seeing the light of 40.

From that moment I decided it was time for me to take charge of my destiny. I had an overwhelming sense of needing to fight. I broke my back and almost died at 23, I had a stroke at 28, and the writing was on the wall. Must.Overcome. When I wasn't accepted onto the show, I had my "Plan B" in place.

Unfortunately, my body decided to start the implosion, and the doctor put me on my MIS (Medically Induced Sabatical). "I'm going to put you on permanent disability," he told me. I had to do something. Nothing was working.

In November 2007 I met with the surgeon. My weight was 209 (my efforts were slightly paying off) but my insulin needs continued to climb. He told me to STOP going to the gym, and don't lose any more. He worried my weight would drop me too low and the carrier would not qualify it. I had all the other CO-MORBIDITY factors required for the carrier to approve it, why miss out for 5 more pounds?

I started going to a support group (and was looked at funny when some of the patients realized I wasn't an "after" patient) and continued to go every month. I made changes to my diet ahead of time so it wouldn't be too hard after (no more carbonated soda).

One year ago today I took the big step. I had my big surgery. My weight the day of the surgery was 201. My morning blood sugars were 407. Today my weight is 145, and my morning blood sugars are 130. My 200 units of insulin is down to 15. All the other medications I was on have been replaced by vitamin supplements.

In September they discovered a complication (something that only happens in 2% of all gastric bypass patients) and in October I had a "re-do" corrective surgery. Man did that suck. I made it through though, as you all know.

For those of you that think that I took the easy way out, please keep in mind that today I have paperwork that outlines my prospective retirement date of 2037. Try and imagine how it feels to actually believe I might see that day sometime, when before I never thought you would see 2012.

It's very exciting people, I assure you!!

Out of the Office

We've all gotten those kick-back messages via email:

Please be advised Grandy is out of the office. She will have only limited access to her email while she is out. If this is urgent, please direct your inquiry directly on to (insert awesome co-worker here).

On Friday I was in the zone at work. I had my MP3 player going, I was rocking out, and I was getting-it-done. It was a long 13-hour day, and it needed to happen. At about hour 10, Grandy started to lose focus (wonder why) and get silly.

I sent an email out to a claims adjuster. The kick-back response I got was this:

Please be advised that Mary is out of the office because she wasn't feeling very well! She is very sorry for this, but didn't foresee this problem. She hopes to be back in on Monday and will do her best to respond.

*giggle*

What was it really that Grandy read, and decided it would be very cool to put in her email?

*giggle*

Please be advised Grandy has decided she cannot take it any more. Her grey matter has exploded and she has decided to spew curse words all over, like vomit coming from a drunk. She is sorry she can't be here to respond to your senseless dribble, but promises to get right on top of it when she has finished the entire bottle come to her senses.

Now Grandy didn't really feel this way (exactly) but it definitely gave her something to giggle about and get her through those last 3 hours.

Hey...whatever it takes!!

Grandy's #1 Stalker - Sunday Spotlight

Readers I would like you to meet...Grandy's Mom. We will call her "WB" (not because of the TV channel, but because of her initials silly).

She is not currently a "stalker" that you can find here on this site, but she earns the right to be my #1 stalker. Mom doesn't always read every day, but for that matter, neither do I.

WB doesn't have a blog, so this post won't necessarily be an interview, as it will be with so many of my other stalker spotlights.

I'm not even sure she gets why I do it. I'm kidding...she gets that this is an outlet for me. She has "gotten" Grandy more than I have ever given her credit for.

Earlier this week Mom had surgery. She has done amazingly well, and after many temper tantrums efforts with the doctor, was finally sent home on Saturday. After the last year we've had, where she has seen us all go through our health struggles, it was a little unnerving seeing her go through it too. It's good to know that she will be feeling so much better soon.

It's a good thing too. There are many more trips for her to take, that AREN'T family related. She spent all of 2008 doing what she does, taking care of all us kids and our spouses. I want 2009 to be all about her.

WB isn't the biggest fan of having her picture taken, but I can usually sneak in a pic of her doing what she does best...being a great Grandma.

These kids ADORE HER!!!

Get better soon, my #1 stalker!

I LOVE YOU!!!