Monday, August 18, 2008

Hey Cranky Pants!

Yeah you...

That's right, you know I'm talking to you.

I am sorry that it is 7:00 and you have to be here, in the lab, and you are fasting.

Guess what...So am I!

I am sorry that you see 3 people walking up to the counter all at the same time and you decide your 75 year old a$$ has suddenly entered the Olympics and you feel you must full on sprint to the counter to get ahead of the little old lady in front of me. I would have let you go in front of me, if you needed the needle that much sooner.

Your smugness as you turned, having "beat" us to the sign in desk was amazingly awesome. I wish I could have somehow replicated that.

Oh, and the exact moment I realized today's blog post was going to be dedicated to you?

It was either when I sat 2 seats away from you...you sneezed...I said bless you...you.ignored.me. OR when the next elderly lady came in, there was nowhere to sit, and I gave up my seat. You instantly puffed your chest up to kind of look like you were taking two seats, when the seat between us was empty.

It was not just your sheer, unadulterated rudeness that made me want to draw your blood myself caught my attention. It did.

It actually gave me a different kind of reaction that I hadn't considered, and I'm actually quite grateful for.

You made me laugh!!

I'm quite certain this was not your goal when you snorted at your name being called before mine and the other very sweet lady who was wearing all yellow, like a banana. (Let's face it, if someones dressed like a banana, they must have a sunny disposition, right?)

So...today I honor you, Mr. Cranky Pants, with this blog post specially dedicated to you. Congratulations for your victory over us this morning. I'm quite certain the men at the Legion will hear about your acts of brave heroism. I'm pleased I could bring you such joy...and let's face it...some exercise, in what otherwise could have possibly been a mundane day.

Oh, and by the way. If you want a little piece of advice... The pants you wear are truly meant to stop BEFORE your man boobs. The "at the armpits" look just isn't workin' for ya.

I'm just sayin'!

19 comments:

Suzanne said...

That is hilarious! I have a complete visual of this wonderful human being and I'm laughing, too.

Jennifer Robin said...

Thanks for the giggle this morning. I could picture myself there in the lab with the old coot, and I'm not sure I could have been as nice as you!

mysecondjournal said...

OMG.... It's so hard to not hurt those kinds of people.

Joyce-Anne said...

That was funny and, oh, btw I detest those people you wrote about.

Mrs. F said...

Hehehe. Man boobs. You said man boobs.

tpgoddess0103 said...

How did I know it would end with a comment about the pants up to the boobs?!! That's how I was picturing him from the start!!

Sandy C. said...

Is it wrong I was wishing you wrote, "and they messed up and had to re-draw his blood?"

People like this annoy me. Good for you for getting a chuckle out of it...and some blog fodder ;)

Travis said...

Heheheheheheheheheeheeee

I appreciate you for giving up your seat to Banana Lady.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

When did people become so rude?!

Grandy said...

Suzanne~ We're laughing WITH him, huh?

Jennifer~ Thanks for stopping by, I'm glad you enjoyed.

MP~ Not if they're bigger than you. ;)

Joyce-Anne~ I actually feel sorry for them. They are short on friends.

Mrs. F~ Boobs!!! MAN BOOBS!!

TP~ Could the pants be any other way?

Grandy said...

Sandy~ Not bad at all! I thought the same thing at the time.

Travis~ Of course!!

Jenn~ I don't know, I'll bite. Close your eyeeesssssssssssssssssssssssss.

Grandy said...

Jenn~ WHAT did I just write? See what happens when I try to multi-task, and comment late at night? My subliminal thoughts come through.

Put the pipe down Grandy!! :)

onthecurb said...

Sorry about the dipwad bullying his way around you.

I hope your tests turned out fine.

Tina Coruth said...

ROFL I love it!

Goofy Girl said...

Hhaha Mr Cranky Pants! Those kinds of people are always worth a good chuckle at being so irritable at silly things!

wrekehavoc said...

heheh!

hope all was ok.

Grandy said...

Curb~ Dipwad? I LOVE IT!! :) I usually use dorkwad. I think we've asked this before? Were we separated at birth?

Tina~ :)

Goofy Girl~ It must be difficult to live in his world.

Wreke~ I think so...won't know for a few days. Pretty standard stuff though.

storyteller said...

It's always wise to see the humor in these irritating situations ... and you've done it with flair here ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

Grandy said...

Thank you, storyteller, as always.