Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Things you'd hear at my desk - Take 2

We must find the humor in what we do...right?

Sometimes Grandy finds a little more humor than maybe she should be allowed to. Sometimes Grandy amuses the heck out of herself and has more fun than should be allowed...with clothes on.

Well, although I am still busier than a three-legged cat in a litter box at work, I am either starting to return to my less overwhelmed state, or I'm delirious.

So...the following statements are more things you would hear at Grandy's desk (and of course the plucky commentary that goes along with it).

Grandy: Sir, I'm sorry but I didn't get your email. Are you sure you sent it to the right address? Read it back to me.
Pain in the a$$ (PITA) Man #1: I sent it to you alright. You need to check again. Oh wait...I didn't put the dot com on it.
Grandy: Well, there you have it.
PITA Man #1: Well why didn't you tell me that?
**Seriously? I'm supposed to know what the heck your problem is?

Grandy: You hurt yourself on the treadmill?
PITA Man #2: Yes, it was going too fast.
Grandy: You set it too fast?
PITA Man #2: No, it was too fast when I got on.
**Yep...you are reading this right...he got on a moving treadmill and fell right off. HUH

PITA #3: What's the status on this?
Grandy: Do you mean you want a NEWER status?
PITA #3: Yes
Grandy: Newer than yesterday, when I told you it would be 3 weeks before I had an answer?
**You do understand what Grandy really wanted to say here, right? Tell me you know what I wanted to say.

PITA #4: I need you to lean on them for me.
Grandy: I'm sorry, lean on who?
PITA #4: The FBI
Grandy: Huh, yeah, I'm not sure I have that kind of power.
**It's wonder Grandy! I am the all mighty powerful. When I speak, government agencies take notice... NOT!

Please share the craziest thing you've had to say at your desk, or what someone's said to you. Share your fun. It can be quite liberating, really, and it would cheer me up. :)

28 comments:

Michele @ Writing the Cyber Highway said...

This was too funny. The guy really got on a MOVING treadmill? What was he thinking?! Tell me we don't live in a world where that happens! hehehe Too crazy...

You're a hoot, as always, girl! Thanks for a good laugh before I call it a night (or a new day?). :-)

*smiles*
Michele

Henson Ray said...

Funny stuff. You have a good knack for dialogue.

I don't know if this is funny or not, but I once I had to say "Get off my lap before you throw up."

Of course, I work from home, so I was actually talking to my cat and not a co-worker. But I was in my office, and it was an unusual thing to say...even if my cat counts as the only co-worker I have. (Though he certainly doesn't do much except eat, throw up and play in the cat box.)

By the way, I love my GPS system as well and wouldn't do very well without it, so I know what its like to be directionally challenged. (Though I think I'm really just too lazy to read a map.)

treesflowersbirds said...

Actual email exchange:

Me: You need to contact Joan.
Illiterate Professor (IP): Ok, I will contact Sheree
Me: No, Sheree referred you to me, she does not have the answer, you need to talk to Joan.
IP: OK, I will talk to Sheree.

.....uh.....
and these people are TEACHERS!

Mike Golch said...

Three words: Bozos,bozos,bozos!!!!!

I hopr that you are haveing a great day! Thant's my story and I'm gonna stick to it.
mauny Hugs and god's blessings your way.

Tina Coruth said...

Grandy,

The guy on the treadmill - unbelievable!! You are a riot!

I can't think of anything work related at the moment. But the craziest conversation I ever had took place long, long ago when I was obviously eight months pregnant, sitting on a bench waiting for a bus. A young man sat down beside me and said "hello". I said "hello".
He said,"You want to come up to my apartment and listen to music?"
I said,"I don't think my husband would like that."
He said,"Oh, that's OKay, we can still be friends."
Fortunately, as he was saying that, I was on my way to board my bus that had just arrrived! I'll let the response that was running through my mind remain in your imagination! LOL

Mrs. F said...

I don't have funny exchanges like that at my work, but this happened one day:

Crazy lady: Um, do you have any napkins?

Me: Yes, right next to your hand there is a stack.

CL: Oh, haha, you call that a stack?

(That was not my only weirdly rude encounter with her on that cruise)

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I did have quite the exchange with someone last night about how although I might believe he wasn't a liar and drug abuser I still wasn't going to fill a prescription for him after I'd clearly seen that the doctor neglected to write the patient's name on it.

mysecondjournal said...

Damn..that post reminded me that I have to call my insurance company to find out what they are going to cover on my PT..I hate those people.
JUST KIDDING....
You know what, my dumb comments from customers and reps is SO often I have to process them out of my head fast or they will drive me crazy.

chris said...

You gotta be making this up? Well, I've heard some really funny stuf from the parents and students at my school but I can't write them here because of confidentiality stuff...bummer.

Travis said...

Lean on the FBI?

krissy said...

What the hell....my side is burning from laughing so hard. A even bigger question is do these people have children??????

I'm scared Grandy, I'm scared.

Seriously, I would have laughed in their faces. Funny stuff.

Grandy said...

Michele~ Yep!! He got on a moving treadmill. It makes one wonder. :)

Henson~ Thanks so much for stopping by, reading, and commenting. I think I have co-workers like your cat.

Trees~ Ok...Sheree...we'll need to work on that attention to detail, won't we?

Mike~ Bozos with a big B!

Tina~ Oh, my responses are running through my mind as we speak. :)

Grandy said...

Mrs. F~ Best comeback for that. You say to crazy lady, "You call that a chin?" ;)

Jenn~ and said customer had an issue with this? lol

MP~ Aren't you almost there?

Chris~ I can't make this stuff up... I'm good but life is better. :)

Travis~ It's a long story, involves heavy investigation, and if I told you, I'd have to kill you.

Krissy~ Be afraid! Be very afraid!!

Bandobras said...

Not nearly as much fun as leaning on the FBI but when I worked as an inspector at GM a guy came in with a piece of steel. It had been cut on a chopper in the forge then ground flat on each end to be put in a clamp for machining. It was too short and the argument was that it had been cut too short at the chopper. He asked me to tell him how long it had been before he ground it down and couldn't figure out why ai couldn't do it. Eventually I had the joy of getting really rude to him.

Theresa Komor said...

"Here, do this, is it done yet?" Same breath, I swear. The S.O.B got my Mr. Spock eyebrow (something I taught myself in the 60s when Star Trek was on prime time).

XUP said...

I had to explain to someone once that there was nothing we could do about the rats in her basement. It took a lot of convincing, but I think she finally understood that she either had to deal with this problem herself or call an exterminator -- not the federal government

Sandy C. said...

Oh man, that sounded like dialog from Seinfeld! :)
I can't help but chuckle at the visions of his dude stepping onto a moving treadmill *giggle*

I once had a medical intern write me an order to administer a drug "Per Rectum"....the drug is only available in liquid form for IV's. Yup, an M.D. followed his name :(

Joyce-Anne said...

My only question is do people ever listen to themselves speak? Or are they just talking to make noise? Your list is too funny. I really got a chuckle. Take care.

onthecurb said...

Ok, this isn't work related, or at least not related to my work but maybe the other woman's "work." (i'll out myself here in your comment section for this story...see how special you are to me ;-) )

I'm waiting backstage for a friend after an O'Jay's concert. I'm seated beside another woman. She strikes up some banter...

Her: "So, what's your name?"
Me: "Dreama."
Her: "Ooooooh, I like that."
Me: "Um, thanks. What's yours?"
Her: "Mona Lisa.

I was sitting by a freakin' prostitute. No wonder guys kept motioning for me to come hither.

Suzanne said...

I've got too many absurd interactions to share them all here. In fact, I think I've done a pretty good job of blocking them out.

I'll share the funniest one on my blog, though!

Dirty Laundry Diva said...

I don't have to deal with people at my desk these days (it is in my own home) but in the past I have been argued with when telling potential hotel guests that we are sold out/ have not rooms left.

They thin I am lying to them or that I can just pull one right out of my ass for them. Sheesh!

Anonymous said...

i work for a cab company and at least 5 times a day i get this:

can you send me a cab?
sure, where are you?
well, i don't know.

and then they get mad because i can't send a cab.

Grandy said...

bandobras~ You eventually got to be rude to him? I'm not sure I could have waited that long.

Theresa~ I SO know the look you're referring too. I once lived with a serious trekkie.

XUP~ Oh...glad to know we don't just have morons in our country.

Sandy~ UGH!! Doctors take their own medicine I think. If not, they should.

Joyce-Anne~ I really don't think people do listen. That would require recognizing which voice in their head is THEIRS. ;)

Dee~ No wonder she liked your name. She thought you were HER ho!!

Suzanne~ Blocking out can be a good thing. I'll have to go check out your winning story.

Cab person~ That's like someone calling 411, to ask for the number to 911. Thanks for stopping by!

Melissa said...

Lots of stories coming to mind. None of them short ;)

Someone tried to bribe me once. I was working for Red Cross and was told someone would try to bribe me someday. When it finally happened I thought "Wow! It's happening! I'm being offered a bribe!" I told the woman I was sorry but I didn't accept bribes and she'd have to re-take the class. She begged me for the next five minutes telling me she was desperate and really needed this for work and was I SURE we couldn't work something out, and that she'd pay me and make it worth my while if I could just pass her. I told her again (nicely) that the only thing to "work out" was for her to re-take the course and I'd tell her which areas she needed more work in so she could practice. -More begging, pleading, and sob stories ensued and then finally she said "Please? I'll give you ten dollars."

TEN DOLLARS???? -Ok then I was just INSULTED!

TEN DOLLARS???!

Grandy said...

Melissa~ Did you clean her clock? I would have wanted to.

Melissa said...

I think I was too busy laughing.

I mean heck, if you're gonna try to bribe me, at least make it interesting! Lol!

(FYI: I wouldn't have given in at any amount. Not when people's lives are at stake.)

Deanna said...

rofl
I love your humor!
You're better than I am, apparently, at biting your tongue - I'd probably actually say these things to stupid people and get fired.

found you via The Mom with Brownies.

Grandy said...

Deanna~ Well I'm glad you enjoyed, and I'll have to find Mom and her Brownies. :)