How does one walk?

Throughout the years we find ourselves in certain situations that we suddenly look up and ask, "Where am I? And how did I get here?"

We commit to things in our lives that seem like a good fit at the time, and you start doing it for all the right reasons, but then somehow...somewhere...it's not working. We try and try...and try again...and we just can't get our heart into it. When you start to do things out of obligation, as opposed to doing things because you want to, it seems like it would be time to cut your losses and walk away.

People walk from commitments and obligations all the time. There's a right and a wrong way of doing things (as with anything) but they do it. The reasons why they walk should be unimportant to others, but that is never the case. Managing perceptions is never an easy task anyway, but I don't want to have to care. Why the heck do we care what people think and say anyway?

As you can tell, Grandy does care about what people think and feel. She swears like a sailor wears her heart on her sleeve when people around her "need" her, or are hurting. Maybe we focus on others so that we don't have to address what's happening in our own lives, in our own heart. But really, it's probably just an excuse.

At any rate, Grandy has realized she needs to grow a set of something, if she's going to find her way to the next chapter in her life. When people are counting on you, you do what you have to do. You don't have to like it...but you do it anyway.

So readers, give me your perspective. Tell me about a committment you have had to step back from. Share with me how you did it, and how it worked out. It can be big or small, Grandy takes on all committments and needs to scale WAY back.

Teach me how to walk folks!!

WTF Wednesday - Seriously? WTF?

Allow me to introduce you to the poster child for "NEVER GOING TO GET LAID AGAIN" ad campaign.

Ladies...if you happen to find this man...consider it a reminder to set your standards just a wee bit higher.

Writing Begets Feeling

Quite often this blog has helped me to put my life into perspective. If I'm trying to cope or deal with something, it has been a source of release to either vent or joke here. Writing helps me find the humor in things, and if I can laugh about them, they don't bother me as much.

Through things like, "Grandy has to have another surgery", I post about the horrible food or the crazy whacked out nurse that helped me. It's kind of a great coping mechanism.

Lately, I'm afraid even the blog hasn't been able to give me the outlet I've been searching for. I realize that my posts lately have been uber-crap (or at least in the Grandy-caliber scale). I come to my blog, see my "community" and apologize to you all for the lack of quality here in Grandy-land of late.

Recently I've been carrying a load that has tinted my blog-colored glasses. I can't mask things this time. I can't find the humor. It just plain sucks. So what did I do? I pulled away, posted randomness, and failed you all. I haven't even been able to bring myself to come read many of you in quite some time. Believe me, my readers are not the only ones to realize I'm different lately.

This morning I read this post over at Mama Mary Show. Mary is a beautiful writer who has a club. It's called the Dead Dad's Club. A club for daughters who have lost their fathers. She's even compiling a book of stories from members of the club (yes, a few of mine have been accepted for this book). The post made me cry, and it made me feel.

That's what I try to do here, and that's what's been lacking. Because I've been afraid of feeling anything, I've been blocked from writing anything of quality. Even as I write this, I'm choked up with the sense of..."Uh-Oh...here it comes!" But I write anyway because I realize it's time for me to do so. Wherever the journey takes me, we shall see. Whether I post all my writing here, we don't know that either.

Thank you for sticking around when I couldn't. You couldn't understand what it means to me, but I will try to make it up to you.

I now know it's time for me to write, to cry, to laugh, to feel.

And it's time for me to make you do the same.

WTF Wednesday - Public Decency?

Grandy was reminded late last night that today HAD to be WTF Wednesday. There are so many things that I exclaim WTF to right now, but not so much that would be worth it to any of you.

Thank you for being my internal calendar, Suzanne. THANK YOU for also reminding me of all the glorious WTF material available on the world-wide-web.

Can someone please explain to me WHERE this man would wash his hands?

Next question...Where's the line for the women's?

Even the dogs get it

Grandy is not about money people. She works hard, busts her butt, and does what she can for her and her family. It's not about how much she makes, but how much the needs are being met. Sometimes the needs and the wants get blurred a bit.

Every once and a while she asks...Why am I doing this again?

This cartoon reminds me to ask that question more often.

Happy Monday Folks!!