Friday, June 12, 2009

How does one walk?

Throughout the years we find ourselves in certain situations that we suddenly look up and ask, "Where am I? And how did I get here?"

We commit to things in our lives that seem like a good fit at the time, and you start doing it for all the right reasons, but then's not working. We try and try...and try again...and we just can't get our heart into it. When you start to do things out of obligation, as opposed to doing things because you want to, it seems like it would be time to cut your losses and walk away.

People walk from commitments and obligations all the time. There's a right and a wrong way of doing things (as with anything) but they do it. The reasons why they walk should be unimportant to others, but that is never the case. Managing perceptions is never an easy task anyway, but I don't want to have to care. Why the heck do we care what people think and say anyway?

As you can tell, Grandy does care about what people think and feel. She swears like a sailor wears her heart on her sleeve when people around her "need" her, or are hurting. Maybe we focus on others so that we don't have to address what's happening in our own lives, in our own heart. But really, it's probably just an excuse.

At any rate, Grandy has realized she needs to grow a set of something, if she's going to find her way to the next chapter in her life. When people are counting on you, you do what you have to do. You don't have to like it...but you do it anyway.

So readers, give me your perspective. Tell me about a committment you have had to step back from. Share with me how you did it, and how it worked out. It can be big or small, Grandy takes on all committments and needs to scale WAY back.

Teach me how to walk folks!!


Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

You and me both.

What are the things you enjoy? Where can you be most helpful? What commitments work best in your schedule? I think you do work for the Boy Scout troop--that can be very time-consuming. Do one job and don't take on anything else.

I was at a Water Polo board meeting the other night (I'm the secretary) and we were talking about organizing a BBQ fund-raiser. I just had to repeat in my head "you are already contributing, let someone else do it." It works, but it's hard to get used to.

Good luck!

Christina said...

Hmmm..well..the biggest commitment I walked away from was my marriage so....umm..yeah ;->

Since *then* I am really quite picky what I agree to. It has to be short term and/or really something I enjoy deeply. I have actually gotten pretty good at saying no, but I do think like Jenn and ease my guilt with "you are doing enough!"

Joyce-Anne said...

I don't know... It's hard for me to say no. Even with 3 kids, I still manage to get myself roped into extra work singing (good, but still difficult when juggling babysitters, etc.). When you figure it out, please pass on the info.

The Mother said...


Moms have a terrible habit of accepting everything that society throws at them. And that means that society will, eventually, figure that out and take tremendous advantage.

Stop the cycle. Learn to put yourself and your family FIRST, before any other outside commitments.

There will be plenty of time for charity work when the kids are grown and life slows down.